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Mice


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Just spied a mouse running in my hall. My lazy bastard dog did nothing and my heavily pregnant missus nearly went into labour.

 

I'm going to bed now but I hope by the time I wake up this thread is full of tips to oust the fucker. I've no experience of this and I've no morals regarding its life so traps or dog safe poison are in.

 

That said if there's an effective way to do it humanely I'd happily do it too.

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Go back to where you saw the mouse running to. Bring your ipad, or phone, with you. Open up "Summer transfers 2014" and begin reading the thread aloud from start to finish. I guarantee that not only will the mouse fuck off fairly quickly, but he'll also spread the word, that you're not to be trifled with and you won't ever have a problem again.

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Buy a humane mouse trap its just a little box you put a bit of food in and the mouse gets trapped there then you take it too a field far away set it free and think of the many adventures that mouse will have. That's what I did though my imagination often turns negative I'm pretty sure the mouse i set free ended up being tricked by unscrupulous other mouses and now works the sex trade for a mouse pimp and the occasional 20 bag of Bree.

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Move house.

 

Just leave it, check into a hotel and live there until death.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

*Actually, probably a cheap motel would be a better idea if you plan to live for a long time.

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Better still, build a mouse library, and put a skater mouse in there with a steady supply of chewing gum wrappers. Job done.

 

What a ridiculously long winded, expensive and unnecessary way of dealing with a mouse.

 

Anyway he was a surfer dude, not a skater.

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