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World Cup 2014


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Lads, I've mapped out the whole World Cup so you probably don't even need to bother watching. Few of the runner ups were marginal, but they'll get bummed in the next round so it doesn't really matter.

 

Group winners + Runners up

 

A - Brazil/Croatia

B - Spain/Chile

C - Columbia/Ivory Coast

D - Uruguay/Italy

E - France/Ecuador

F - Argentina/Nigeria

G - Germany/Portugal

H - Belgium/Russia

 

Well that was a piece of piss. Ecuador might be replaced by the Swiss, and Nigeria by either of the other two in their group, but they're all shite, so a twatting awaits in the knockouts. I guess England could go through instead of Italy, but the thought of old Royston trying to work out what to do against Columbia's 927mph attacks, again, makes it almost irrelevant.

 

Round of 16

 

Brazil v Chile. Brazil wins. Chile will choke, get angry, probably get a red card, or four. Neymar will do some capoeira, people will wax lyrical about the Samba quegs, Chile will be patronised by the European press.

 

Columbia v Italy. I think this will be very interesting. A complete clash of philosophies, with Columbia's possibly just winning the day. Winner faces Brazil next, so being wrong here, again, doesn't really matter.

 

Spain v Croatia. Rakitic will look good, but Croatia will be bummed. Efficiently.

 

Uruguay v Ivory Coast. Toure will go missing. Uruguay will have far too much.

 

France v Nigeria. All the hallmarks of an absolute stinker. France to edge it, without great conviction.

 

Germany v Russia. I expect Germany to edge a tactical affair, or the game to be abandoned after 10 minutes with all 22 players complaining of sun stroke.

 

Argentina v Ecuador. Routine bumming.

 

Belgium v Portugal. Found these two very difficult to split. I think Belgium are a better team than the Portuguese, but Ronaldo obviously has the ability to decide these close games on his own. Argies await the victors...hmm...Belgium, just.

 

Quarters

 

Brazil v Columbia. As much as I'd love an upset, I don't see it. Brazil by a couple.

 

France v Germany. Germany will twat these everywhere. France only getting this far by having a fucking easy group, and then an even easier round of 16 game.

 

Spain v Uruguay. I think if Costa is fit he'll give Spain the edge. They need someone to properly occupy Uruguay's defence. They won't be arsed if Spain just knock it sideways on the edge of the box. They'll play on the break anyway. I think without Costa, Uruguay are capable of nicking this. Hopefully with something disgraceful enough from Suarez to put Real Madrid off bidding for him. Possibly stuffing the ball up Ramos' shirt, and then side kicking him in the face into the net. One can hope. Struggling for a winner...can't split them. I'll just fancy Argentina to beat either of them.

 

Argentina v Belgium. Argies by a couple.

 

Semis (oo er)

 

Brazil v Germany. Germany are more than capable of winning this, even in largely alien conditions. A lot will depend on what they have left in the tank by this stage of the competition. Luckily they'll have probably played France previously. They'll have to take all of their chances, as they'll create far less than Brazil will. I'm not convinced. I think they'll be a big threat on the break for the first hour, then gradually get deeper and deeper until they're just hoofing it away. Brazil to edge it, 2-1 maybe.

 

Argentina v Spain/Uruguay. Obviously the winner of the Spain v Uruguay game will make an enormous difference to the dynamic of this game. I really want to see Argentina v Uruguay, I think it would be an immense spectacle. I'd fancy Argentina to just about beat either of them, but Spain are probably better equipped to shut them out (with possession, rather than lots of great defending). Argentina to nick a 1-0 or 2-1 v Spain, or a 6-5 against Uruguay. Suarez to hospitalise Di Maria post match.

 

Final

 

Argentina v Brazil. Its what everyone should want to see. Maradona should be entertaining in the build up. I think the Brazilians will crumble. Messi having had a relatively quiet tournament (maybe two goals so far), will score what will go down as the greatest goal of all time. Argentina 2-1, or 2-2, and then winning in extra time.

 

Tournament winner - Argentina

Tournament top scorer - Aguero (he'll get all the goals in the group stage)

 

 

 

You're welcome.

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Uruguay as group winners? i would hold back on that one to see which version of them turn up.There defence is comical and evertime the ball goes towards them there falling over each other. also luis is on the wing mosgames for them bu the do score a fair few goals.

if they do sor tihere defence outhe can go far but up to now it still has a great comical rating and somebody will score a shed full of goals against even in the group phase.

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Uruguay as group winners? i would hold back on that one to see which version of them turn up.There defence is comical and evertime the ball goes towards them there falling over each other. also luis is on the wing mosgames for them bu the do score a fair few goals.

if the do sort here defence outhe can go far but up to now it still has a great comical rating and somebody will score a shed full of goals against even in the group phase.

 

They'll score and concede loads. Italy will be the opposite.

 

England are capable of getting through the group, but Roy is more also more than capable of getting the very worst out of what is a pretty promising set of young players.

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The dark horses for me could be mexico who can also score for fun even there second string seem as good as the first 11 for finding the net. There downfall could be a problem with nowanting to do simple goals and always going for hollywood shots instead of passing o someone better placed.

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England will top their group. Uruguay will be 3rd. Argentina will win it and i hope they do as well

I agree with you on englands group, messi will bottle it on the big international stage like he has done in previous years, aguero will break down or not play to his best because he isn't 100% fit and their defence isn't great.

 

Germany are strong favourites for me but brazil may pull it out of the bag with their home support and being used of the conditions.

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I agree with you on englands group, messi will bottle it on the big international stage like he has done in previous years, aguero will break down or not play to his best because he isn't 100% fit and their defence isn't great.

Germany are strong favourites for me but brazil may pull it out of the bag with their home support and being used of the conditions.

Germany have big injury problems.

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We should top the group based on the quality in the respective squads, Uruguay only have Cavani and Suarez, their captain Lugano doesn't even play for West Brom and Coates is our 6th choice centre back.

Godin is their best centre back.

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It'll be Lugano. Slow as fuck but a good leader. Pereira and Caceres at fullback have the pace to cover.

 

I think they'll get their shit together for the World Cup.

 

South American qualifying is so intense, the European qualifiers are no preparation for a major tournament. Especially one in South American conditions. I think a few sides like Belgium, Holland and France are going find things really tough.

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None of them have played in the Champions league. None have any international pedigree at all. None have any trophies or recognition of any type in regards to individual awards.

 

I think calling them the best in the world is a touch overdoing it.

 

I didn't call them the three best in the world...

 

Fair point on Barkley, I guess not having every Everton player's birthday memorised made me look a tit there... But, please feel free to point out a contemporary of Sterling at the WC this year. Them being an unknown quantity at that level is exactly what makes it so interesting to me. I have total faith in the talent of all three.

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