Mis-sent Messages

[TheBitch]

Oh no...

[Champ]

I text my mum instead of a bird I was seeing (the proper mentalist one) to "bring the nurses uniform, nipple clamps and that dildo you love".

Did you get a reply?

[lifetime fan]

Her reply of "I don't think that was meant for me Col but enjoy your evening" put me off my stride a few times.

[stringvest]

I was party to another cringing event involving a speakerphone , a hitachi wand and an ambassadors 88 years old ex-wife.

[Champ]

Her reply of "I don't think that was meant for me Col but enjoy your evening" put me off my stride a few times.

You owe her rep

[Tom araya]

Sorry anny road,the bmx was for my daughter.

[stringvest]

I was party to another cringing event involving a speakerphone , a hitachi wand and an ambassadors 88 years old ex-wife.

 

This is actually true.  A lady I was living with had cooked Sunday lunch for her mum and her kids.  Earlier in the week a friend of hers had been round and left a box with us.  I didn't know what was in it, and my other half at the time thought it was a hand food processor.  So, we're all in the kitchen preparing lunch, the phone goes, and as the other half is up to her neck in pots and pans, she puts it on the speaker.  It's the woman who left the box.  They were waffling on, then the woman says "Have you tried it out yet?"  My other half says "What?  No, not yet".  Then this woman booms out "if you're sensitive down there, just but a bit of silk on your clit".  You've never seen a phone picked up so quickly.  I thought I'd imagined it, but when I saw that all the colour had drained out of the other half's face, I thought perhaps I hadn't imagined it.  All was well until I opened the wine, at which point the other half's mother said "why did she want you to put silk on your clit?"

 

That was one long lunch. 

[Trumo]

Brilliant.

[melons]

Once threatening to 'kick' someones arse i threatened to 'lick' their arse. Predictive text. 

 

 

Sent a rather explicit MMS to my mum that was meant for a friend with benefits. Still cringe about that an it was 3 or 4 years ago. 

[Rico1304]

A few years ago I got a bollocking at work for pissing about so went on a long campaign to get back in the boss' good books. After a few months the team got a wanky email about some corporate balls and I replied to my mate saying what a load of rubbish it was etc etc. he knew about my best behaviour promise and mocked up an email header that made it look like I'd replied to all instead of just him. He sent it back to me and the world stopped - he phoned me up and let me squirm for 15 minutes before coming clean.

[stringvest]

A few years ago I got a bollocking at work for pissing about so went on a long campaign to get back in the boss' good books. After a few months the team got a wanky email about some corporate balls and I replied to my mate saying what a load of rubbish it was etc etc. he knew about my best behaviour promise and mocked up an email header that made it look like I'd replied to all instead of just him. He sent it back to me and the world stopped - he phoned me up and let me squirm for 15 minutes before coming clean.

 

fucking hell I'd have killed him. 

[A Red]

Yesterday I told the mother in law that I hoped she had a nice mothers day when in fact I meant to say, "keep your fuckin nose out of my life you interfering old bitch"

[dandyman]

Once threatening to 'kick' someones arse i threatened to 'lick' their arse. Predictive text.

 

 

Sent a rather explicit MMS to my mum that was meant for a friend with benefits. Still cringe about that an it was 3 or 4 years ago.

Question is, was predictive text about when you threatened to lick arse, or was that your veiled attempt at covering up your bum fun intention

[Remmie]

I can't be arsed going into what I did, but you only truly know that sinking feeling if you done it yourself. It's fucking awful. Has anyone been a recipient of the wrong person text?

[Anubis]

Was talking to an annoying female colleague in the office while one of the lads was making disparaging gestures behind her that related to a barrister she was shagging.  As he was doing it I sent him an email about the barrister...  ...only to realise I hadn't sent it to him, I'd sent it to her. 

 

Luckily it didn't reference her so when she asked me what it related to I brazened it out. I always double-check before hitting SEND now.

[Alan Sex]

Can't think of any specific examples other than sending an I love you to a mutual friend of the wife and I.

 

There have been more, and there's nothing like that feeling in your stomach and ballsack, not unlike the weightless feeling when you are driving and speeding over a hilly road.

[General Dryness]

Can't think of any specific examples other than sending an I love you to a mutual friend of the wife and I.

 

There have been more, and there's nothing like that feeling in your stomach and ballsack, not unlike the weightless feeling when you are driving and speeding over a hilly road.

 

Did he come back with "I know"?

[melons]

Question is, was predictive text about when you threatened to lick arse, or was that your veiled attempt at covering up your bum fun intention

 

Nowt wrong with a bit of bum fun so long as mine isn't involved. It was however to someone taking the piss out of a car accident i'd had. 

 

 

 

I can't be arsed going into what I did, but you only truly know that sinking feeling if you done it yourself. It's fucking awful. Has anyone been a recipient of the wrong person text?

 

 

Smiler907 used to do this to me on a regular basis just after we separated, i'm sure it was to mess with my head and not so much accidentally. 

 

Fortunately anyone else that's done it to me has never been anything malicious, just a random, what time are you calling over or what do you want for tea. Dead boring. 

[lifetime fan]

The golf club used to get some obscene shit meant for my brother.

[VladimirIlyich]

The golf club used to get some obscene shit meant for my brother.

I take it you play at a different course now?

This sounds like a euphemism but isnt.

[Scott_M]

My team and I were talking about that Hamster GIF the other yesr where it turns round & says 'Is there a murderer in here?'. I was telling everybody the hamster looked like this lass from work and to prove it, I'd e-mail it onto everybody.

 

Needless to say, I was thinking the lasses name as I was putting the mail together and copied her in and put her name as the title.

 

Like others have said, that sinking feeling and feeling of dread makes you sick to the pit of your stomach.

 

I called her and tried to explain away I'd sent it on in error and copied her in as I was replying to another oe-mail of hers. I think she bought it as she was busy and not really paying attention to what it said. Thinking about it my call was a defininte admission of guilt, I shouldn't have bothered.

 

And yes, she did look like the hamster.

[General Dryness]

Did you mean the dramatic chipmunk?

[Duncan Clench]

Excellent stuff.

 

I've been pretty lucky with this sort of stuff to be honest. I did once text my mate's bird implying it was meant for him, letting him know that I thought she was a no good cunt and he'd be much better off without her. She replied saying "I think you meant to send that to someone else you absolute wanker" and I said "It looks that way, but I'm glad you got it".

 

He left her. He's now deliriously happy, punching well above his weight with a normal human being. 

[Tom R]

back in my early recruitment days and before the mass use of email as a business tool, I sent out a mailshot to about 1,500 or so Managing Directors and FInance Directors with the details of a particular Accountant that I was representing in his search for work. 

 

I signed off said letter with the following flourish:

 

"Kind Retards, 

 

Tom Ross"

[Dr Nowt]

4 years ago I bought a second hand phone from a shop, purely because mine got broken, and I was waiting on a call to confirm whether or not I'd got the job I'd had three interviews for and was desperate to get.  Noticed it had loads of old messages saved to it, and as you do started having a browse.  Turns out this fella had been turking someone behind his wife's back, she'd left him, but he was still denying it, and the texts back and forth between them could curdle milk.  Like the audience in a soap opera, I was also reading the messages his other woman had sent him, about looking forward to the next time he was going to bum her, and the like.  As it got further in, said mistress started balling him out about a third lass he was now seeing.  There was all sorts on this handset, the guy was a fucking hero.

 

I then got a couple of calls in which no-one said anything down the other end, and for some reason I will never understand, got totally confused and like a cretin thought that somehow one or all of these birds were still able to call the handset despite it obviously having my SIM in it.  It was half six on a Friday evening, so it seemed safe to prick about when another came in.

 

"Hello, Gigalo Esquire" is how I answered, to a perturbed sounding new manager who was calling to confirm I had the job and he wanted to let me know asap so I could have a good weekend.  He was square as you like as well, and said to me "That's a very odd way to answer the phone, I'm not going to regret this am I?"  I ended up saying to him "I'll let Mable know I can't make it round, now I have alternative means of income", to which he did actually laugh, but it's fair to say that mis-step at the very start was a good sign of how our working relationship would go downhill fast.