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WhiskeyJar

Summer Transfers 2014

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Maybe swap Brandt for Yesil since Leverkusen still retain some sort of option on him.

 

"Hey, Leverkusen, remember that hot prospect we nicked off you a couple of years back, well, here's the thing, he's broken and fucked, so we were thinking we could maybe have a different one instead and you can have the first one back.  What do you say?"

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This Icardi lad should be commended for dedication to his profession. Everyone knows young footballers are best having a wife and kids so they can apply total focus to their career.

Yep. Someone should tell him its a bit less controversial if it's his own wife and kids he shacks up with tho.

 

Mind you with morals like his, surely he'd be better off at Chelsea. Imagine the end of season 'keys in the ashtray' party! Scenes.

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20140107_wanda_nara_-_2.jpg

 

The heart wants what the heart wants, and in Icadi's case his heart wants a massive pair of jebs.

 

 

I thought when I read about them two that she isn't even that fit

 

If I was a professional footy player in italy I would intentionally stay single just to bang the absolute multitude of fit italian women. 

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Her second affair apparently.

To be fair Maxi Lopez was probably happy enough with the first as it was Maradona.

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"Hey, Leverkusen, remember that hot prospect we nicked off you a couple of years back, well, here's the thing, he's broken and fucked, so we were thinking we could maybe have a different one instead and you can have the first one back.  What do you say?"

 

It might work!

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Everything you need to know about... Julian Brandt
 

The 60-second story

 

Julian Brandt is the latest package to drop off the ever-revolving conveyor belt of prodigious German talent. The Bremen-born star joined Bayer Leverkusen after the winter break in January last season, after spending two impressive years in Wolfsburg's youth ranks.

 

Having already sampled Champions League football, twice as a substitute against PSG last term, the Germany Under-19 youngster has settled well in the Rhineland. It took him until his seventh game to net his first goal against Hamburg, but he followed that up with another the following week – a glorious lob against Hertha which earned Leverkusen all three points. 

 

Brandt, and Bayer, are clearly sure of his abilities: he joined them on a five-and-a-half-year deal based on the promise of regular first-team football. Despite only recently turning 18, he may well get it next season. So far it's been a good summer for the youngster, who after seeing his nation lift the World Cup was part of the German U19 side which claimed European Championship glory in Hungary. 

 

Why you need to know him

 

Standing out among so many other highly rated German kids, Brandt is considered one of the Bundesliga’s most promising wingers. At youth level he plundered 27 goals in 48 games over two seasons for Wolfsburg (enough to help his side win the youth league), and has proven capable of transferring his net-rippling to the big time. Last season he provided genuine competition for South Korean star Son Heung-Min, who didn't quite kick on as was hoped in his first year in Leverkusen. 
 
He'll be playing under a new manager next season – Roger Schmidt has replaced now-Brighton boss Sami Hyypia permanently – but his chances of making an impact won't be lessened. Schmidt proved his willingness to give youth a chance during his two-year spell at RB Salzburg. 
 

brandt-psg.jpg?itok=Yg40zei0
 

Strengths

 

Having netted 10 goals in 32 games at various levels for Die Mannschaft, and provided 11 assists in the first half of last season for Wolfsburg's U19s, Brandt's all-round attacking game is clearly strong. The teenager is a two-footed speed merchant, excellent in tight spaces and also stronger than he looks, at 6ft tall and over 12 stone. 

 

Weaknesses

 

Brandt himself has acknowledged that his "defensive work and heading ability" are areas in need of improvement. In the Bundesliga, where goals certainly aren't at a premium, working on these areas of his game is important. 

 

 

They said...

 

Leverkusen sporting director Rudi Voller wasn't exaggerating when he said Brandt was "one of the most talented players in German football". "His signature is a great investment for the future," concluded the former Germany international.
 
The player himself, meanwhile, is not getting carried away. "I've still got my feet on the ground," he said. "My father helped me look for the club with the best prospects on the pitch. The club is brilliantly organised and the team is great. I've no regrets."

 

Did you know?

 

Despite his obvious talents, Brandt began an apprenticeship as an office administrator during his time at Wolfsburg. "It was interesting, but also time-consuming," he admitted in an interview with German newspaper Express.

What happens next?

 

Chelsea were reportedly keen to snap up the wunderkind before his move to the BayArena (as were Bayern Munich and Borussia Dortmund), but the 18-year-old avoided a loan move to Vitesse and is thriving in his homeland. Bayer Leverkusen will have to negotiate a play-off to reach the Champions League this season, and long-term it's that regular European football that will be key to keeping hold of their prodigious playmaker. Further forward, expect to see him helping Germany defend their crown at Russia 2018. 

 

TALENTSPOTTER RATINGS
  • Shooting 7
  • Heading 5
  • Passing 8
  • Tackling 5
  • Pace 9
  • Dribbling 9
  • Creativity 8
  • Work-rate 8

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Ive just had to eat all bran for breakfast because we have run out of alpen so dont you come the cunt with that shit

A fine way to begin the day's proceedings.

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A fine way to begin the day's proceedings.

 

No chance. I may as well have soaked shredded cardboard in milk and had that 

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No chance. I may as well have soaked shredded cardboard in milk and had that

 

No, I meant your post.

What's all the fuss about banging somebody's ex? Seems a bit weird and possessive , the lady is supposed to stay alone forever so as to not upset her ex? She needs cock.

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Bony would be a comfort blanket type signing.

 

It is the type of idea that a transfer committee or director of football is supposed to stop.  Fully developed, but clearly inferior to Sturridge, whilst unlikely to work as a partnership with him.  We’ve got too many great attacking midfielders to justify playing two that high up the pitch; unless both are of the quality of say a Suarez or a Sturridge.

 

He would no doubt expect to be playing every week if we bought at £20m, so would soon be pouting on the bench before fucking off to the African Cup of Nations.  This would no doubt coincide with a Sturridge injury; leaving us with Lambert up top to try and keep in the chase in January and avoid another early FA cup exit.

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Ex-wife of a former teammate?

 

Fair game in my eyes, and he should be commended for seizing the opportunity.

 

Now, if his name was John Terry.....

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No, I meant your post.

What's all the fuss about banging somebody's ex? Seems a bit weird and possessive , the lady is supposed to stay alone forever so as to not upset her ex? She needs cock.

 

I'm guessing the issue surrounds the word "ex", and whether that was as accurate when he first shagged her as it is now.

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I don't think Bony's price is going to go down as we approach 10 days until kick off of the new season... surely now is the time to put a bid in. Very surprised if Borini isn't offered as a loan in the opposite direction.

 

http://eurorivals.net/top-scorers.html

 

Always a good start to a search, looking at the top scorers in Europe last season.

 

See, I don't buy the whole Sturridge is always injured line, I think he'll be fine, and I think Lambert will be fine when the season starts in earnest. FWIW, I also think Borini is ideally suited to playing in a team with Lallana and Coutinho playing cute balls in behind.

 

Of course, it would be great to get another striker in, but what happens this time next year when Origi comes back off loan?

 

£20m for Bony is a lot, and perhaps part of a hold-up is that he himself must realise that Sturridge is our main striker for the big games, and he doesn't want to take a back seat.

 

I'd rather buy someone PL-ready, and it might not be a fancy name, but someone who could be effective in an attacking side like ours:

 

Jay Rodriguez

Marko Arnautović

Jason Puncheon

Shane Long

Saido Berahino

 

 

I expect there'll be a lot of people up in arms about these names, but they could all serve a purpose in our side for a season, and not cost a fortune in the process. Mobile, tricky, can score and create goals across the front of a 4-3-3.

 

In a way, I think the signing of Lambert has messed things up. I like him, and think he's a great player (and his goalscoring and assist stats from last season prove this), but he's skewed the 'need' for a top striker.

 

I think had we signed a sort of Suarez replacement first, ie, someone mobile and hard working and pacy with the ability to play and score across the front three, then about now, we'd all be happy if the club announced tomorrow that we had also signed Lambert for £4m. But he's already signed, and he comes in with this decent reputation, and so it feels sort of awkward to still be searching for a 'top striker', because he's not exactly shit, but we all know he's not the mobile forward that we need if Sturridge gets a knock or just needs a rest.

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Borini has 'liked"' Rodwells tweet about joining Sunderland, fuelling rumours that he is about to fuck the fuck off.

This Davey Liver taxi driver said he saw him at lime street booking a trans Pennines Express advanced single ticket then kicking off when he saw the price.

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No, I meant your post.

What's all the fuss about banging somebody's ex? Seems a bit weird and possessive , the lady is supposed to stay alone forever so as to not upset her ex? She needs cock.

They hadn't split up when it started according to most reports and then he just kept taking the piss on twitter about it. He just comes across as a massive prick and not somebody you want causing issues with other players.

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Rumours we've made an offer of £17.9m for Lavezzi but more interesting is that Citeh are trying to get Falcao on loan. If he's available we should be having a look at that.

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Rumours we've made an offer of £17.9m for Lavezzi but more interesting is that Citeh are trying to get Falcao on loan. If he's available we should be having a look at that.

 

For us to match Falcao's wage would cost us about 30 million a year!

 

He is on about 15m after tax (no tax in Monaco).

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Did somebody seriously suggest Marko Arnautovic on the basis he's mobile and tricky? We're fucking fucked int the head us lot.

Its the Hodgson-effect all over again, talk big but then break fans's spirit by showing a lack of ambition and ability and then they'll soon welcome shit clogger's from Stoke

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I'm liking this Icardi lad, he's an opportunist. He's also got 84 potential on Fifa, which answers the question posed yesterday "how do you quantify potential?" Fifa. He's got a bird with lovely jebs, a full sleeve of tattoo's and he's Argentinian, can't really go wrong. He also resembles a young Benzema, which is niicee.

 

Bony is a stop gap, this, this my friend is the future.

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