Alan Pardew

[G Richards]

He's allowed to be frustrated that they lost to a bit of a soft penalty right at the death. 

 

Oh, and we're allowed to laugh! Ha ha ha ha ha ha!

 

Three points to the red men. Lovely. And never mind that they were fouling us all game. Never mind that their defenders went through the back of Origi half a dozen times. Never mind that their player scraped his studs down Sakho's thigh when he could have avoided him. And on and on. 

 

Like Pulis and Allardyce he sends his teams out to play the dark arts. (I don't like Mark Hughes but I'm leaving him out of it as his Stoke side try to play decent football these days). But anyhow, Pardew is a small man. And we have three points. 

 

We well and truly went down there and stormed the castle! Get in. 

[Stickman]

He obviously forgets about the FA Cup match last season when that horrible weird faced cunt Gayle among others was throwing himself all over the pitch trying to get free kicks pens and people booked.....lMade up we won the way we did

[VERBAL DIARRHEA]

Football managers and politicians share that lack of self awareness and hypocrisy.

Pardew is a shit. A shit who dilutes his Grecian 2000.

[Dr. J]

I know you shouldn't stop an enemy from making a fool of himself but Pardew is basically calling Benteke a cheat - saying it was a dive = cheat.

 

Klopp should tell him it would be better explain why he hasn't won a game in 2016, why they're gone 12 without a win and lost 8 of 11.

[magicrat]

The most embarrassing part of his interview was not the whinge about the timing of the decision or calling Benteke for cheating. That would piss anyone off on the receiving end .

No it was the "We wouldn't have got that decision ". Pathetic wanker

[amli]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hk_8cvZRGTo

 

 

[Skrtel Milk]

[Joey8FrogsLegs]

The most embarrassing part of his interview was not the whinge about the timing of the decision or calling Benteke for cheating. That would piss anyone off on the receiving end .

No it was the "We wouldn't have got that decision ". Pathetic wanker

 

It was a typical 55th minute penalty you know. No way was it anything like a 4th minute or 93rd minute one. Maybe a 20th minute one if you're pushing it.

[Anubis]

Pardew being made to look a twat on MotD2.

[scudger99]

Pardew would have been even more smug than usual if the pen had gone for Palace instead of against them.  The more bitter he gets about it, and the more he rants, the sweeter it is.  Even better that he threw his toys out of the pram publicly at the end of the game, plenty of mileage for quality moving gifs there.

Have it you smug cunt.

[Stickman]

Guess Pardew forgot about this from few years back....

 

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=SK4_E7Cgq5g

[Anubis]

http://www.football365.com/news/alan-the-king-pardew-and-british-privilege

 

 

There’s a story about Alan Pardew that you’ll probably know, but it’s absolutely worth recounting here if you aren’t aware of it. And, indeed, if you are. The tale comes from Pardew’s West Ham days, told by former club photographer Steve Bacon, who claimed that one day the coaching staff were sitting down for dinner. When their food arrived, the story goes that Pardew took one look at fitness coach Tony Strudwick’s dinner, decided that looked better than his choice, so just took it. In response protests from everyone present, Pardew simply responded: “When you’re the king, you can do anything.”

 

Whether that’s true or not almost doesn’t matter, because it’s one of those stories that just seems to ‘fit’. You hear it, nod, then say “Yep, that sounds about right.” Any story you hear that confirms a view of Pardew as a man absolutely delighted with his own visage, a manager happy to believe perfectly well that he is the king and he can indeed do what you want, is immediately filed under ‘plausible’.

 

For long parts of this season Pardew might not quite have been ‘the king’, but he was certainly doing a very fine job at Crystal Palace. As recently as December they were fifth in the table, a few weeks earlier they had taken Pardew’s old club Newcastle to the cleaners and were looking good for a European challenge. And, perhaps more importantly, talk was building about the big campaign of the year: Pards for England. “I haven’t brought it up once,” Pardew aww-shucked back in October when asked about the national gig. “I don’t want to talk about it today, it’s not on my agenda and I’m quite happy at Crystal Palace.” That would seem to be the end of that, you would say, an…oh, he wasn’t finished. “But it’s the England job. If you’re English and don’t want it then there must be something wrong with you.”

 

It’s interesting that in the last year or so Pardew has cleaned up his act a little bit, with no touchline confrontations with opposition managers and at every possible opportunity avoiding criticising referees. While he apparently hasn’t “brought it up once”, it’s impossible to think that Pards hasn’t got wind that Roy Hodgson could do one in the summer, and the FA will be on the lookout for a new, English manager. Pardew has been on his best behaviour in case the chaps from the FA are watching: it’s the equivalent of putting on a three-piece suit and shining your shoes when the bigwigs from head office drop in.

 

That prospect doesn’t look quite so realistic now, though. Palace haven’t won a game since December 19, losing seven of those 11 encounters and while they have been a little unlucky with injuries (Yannick Bolasie’s spell on the sidelines has been a particular kick in the pants), that talk of a shinier gig for Pardew has got significantly quieter. He did an excellent job with Palace last season, but a glimpse at Pardew’s final league positions before that reveals a manager not exactly eating at the big boys’ table. With Newcastle Pardew finished, in reverse chronological order, 10th, 16th, 5th and 12th. Not bad, not brilliant either, but seemingly enough to see him suggested for what is theoretically the most prestigious gig in English football. People that John Nicholson would call ‘Proper Football Men’ would no doubt comment that clubs are too quick to appoint fancy foreign managers, but the reverse is certainly true here: if Pardew wasn’t English, there’s no way anyone would be touting him for anything better than where he currently is.

 

Not that he seems to think that’s the case, mind. He said in December that English managers are “regarded as an underclass” and that “English coaches really have to have a steely resolve because the press are tougher with us.” Good old Sam Allardyce backed Pardew up on Tuesday, saying: “Us Brits have got to stick together because there aren’t many of us left.” It would be interesting to see which press Pardew is reading, because there seems to be little to no speculation that his job is in trouble, which isn’t to say that if he was called Alain Pardieu he would be under more pressure, but his side are currently only heading one way. To claim that English managers are a persecuted breed by the press and that they are a dying species akin to a giant panda is, to say the least, a little off.

 

It’s perhaps a little glib to point out that there are currently seven British managers in the Premier League, six of them are in the bottom eight of the table and the other two clubs in that whiffy group, Swansea and Aston Villa, are largely in those positions because of the ‘efforts’ of their previous managers, who both happen to be British. And in the interests of fairness, we should point out at this stage that Leicester are partly in their current position due to groundwork done by the very British Nigel Pearson, and that Sunderland’s poor start was with the very not British Dick Advocaat. As an aside, expanding this category from English to British is cheating a little here, but you can be sure Allardyce and Pardew regard Tony Pulis and Mark Hughes as their kin.

 

Sure, many of the clubs in the nether regions of the Premier League are roughly where you’d expect them to be, and the clubs at the bottom are obviously not in their current positions because their managers are British, but the point is that not many British managers, specifically at the moment Pardew, are earning the advantages and jobs they seem to think they deserve. Indeed, it’s interesting that British managers have a number of advantages over their foreign counterparts – comfort with the language, culture, way of life, knowledge of the league and players; call it British privilege, if you like – and still not many of them are any good.

 

Nationality in football management is essentially irrelevant, but…y’know, they started it. British managers like Pardew and Allardyce think their lot should be given more and better jobs in the Premier League, but the trouble is not many are proving they’re worthy of being one of Liz’s corgis, let along the king.

[Bjornebye]

West Ham employee, Steve Bacon

 

“I don’t like Alan Pardew. There, I’ve said it. In fact, I don’t think I’ve ever known a more arrogant person in my life. We never got on from the first moment we met – and our relationship deteriorated from there. There was one occasion when I threatened to stick a fork in his hand. I was sort of joking, but there were definitely times when I felt like swinging at him. Or telling him to fork off, if you follow my drift.”

 

“Let me tell you a story. In fact, it’s called the ‘King story’ among those who were present and who believe it’s a perfect example of Pardew’s arrogance. We were staying at a hotel in the North East ahead of a game at Sunderland during Alan’s first season in charge and were about to have our Friday evening meal. The players were restricted to boiled chicken or pasta, or suchlike, whereas the rest of the West Ham party had the choice of the entire menu. I sat down with Pardew, kit manager Eddie Gillam, physiotherapist John Green and fitness coach Tony Strudwick, who now works for Manchester United and has done very well for himself. We ordered our meals and suddenly Pardew asked us all what we were having. I think Eddie said he’d gone for the chicken, while I’d chosen the steak. Pards then turned to Struds, who revealed whatever it was he’d asked for. ‘That sounds good,’ said Pards. ‘Tell you what; if yours is better than mine when it turns up, I’m having that.’ That was one of the things he’d always say: I’m having that. ‘See that bloke’s haircut? I’m having that.’ He said it all the time. Anyway, I wasn’t ‘having that’ at all. So I said, ‘Well, you’re certainly not having my dinner. You’ll get a fork in the back of your hand!’ Pardew sort of laughed, before turning back to Struds and saying, ‘Yeah, if yours is better than mine, I’m having that.’ Our meals eventually arrived and Pards looked at Tony and said, ‘Yeah, I was right, yours definitely looks much better than mine; I’m having that.’ And he went to swap the plates over. ‘You can’t do that!’ I said. ‘What do you mean?’ he asked. ‘You can’t just take somebody else’s dinner,’ I said in disbelief. And he replied, without any hint of a joke, ‘When you’re the King, you can do anything.’ Eddie, Tony, John and I just looked at each other and there was an uncomfortable silence for a moment. Struds was a nice guy but he could be a bit of a ‘yes man’ at times and so he just allowed Pardew to swap the plates. However, the rest of us were flabbergasted by it all and we ended up discussing what had happened in the bar. Alan kept a straight face when referring to himself as ‘the King’ and I just couldn’t believe the arrogance of the man.”

[scudger99]

Reading that makes yesterday all the more satisfying.  Definitely off to work this morning with a spring in my step.

Fuck you very much Pardew, you massive arrogant shithouse.

[VERBAL DIARRHEA]

The same Alana Pardew who butted an opposition player. His halo must have slipped that day.

[Philbert]

.

[Trumo]

http://www.football365.com/news/alan-the-king-pardew-and-british-privilege

 

 

 

I've repeatedly said that more British managers should have a go at managing abroad - especially in Europe. It doesn't need to be one of the top leagues either. Leagues in the next rung such as in Holland or Portugal could be a good step. Or a rung below that such as in Belgium, Switzerland, Turkey or Greece. The reason they don't bother is because they will not earn the sort of money they do in England and they won't be part of the merry-go-round that guarantees a job over here, but they might be forced to deal with something none of them (bar Rodgers) have had to deal with here - being at a club expected to challenge for and win things, play on the front foot, dominate proceedings, play in European competition, that sort of thing.

 

McClaren for all his flaws has at least given it a go abroad, and he's at least had experience of tangible success. Of course he has also flopped badly but he has something on his record that none of his peers do.

 

If you are an English club hoping to break into the top 4 and are looking for a new manager, the default as of now is to look abroad. More than likely to get somebody who has experience of winning things and a good track record. If however your club was faced with a choice of British managers, one who has managed several clubs in the Premier League and won nothing but kept those sides around mid-table or avoided relegation, and the other who has managed clubs in lesser European leagues like in Holland and Belgium but challenged for titles and trophies (perhaps winning at least one), which is the better choice?

[AngryOfTuebrook]

Isnt it funny how people make up rules to suit themselves?

See also "you can't send Mata off because he's a nice guy."

[AngryOfTuebrook]

West Ham employee, Steve Bacon

 

“I don’t like Alan Pardew. There, I’ve said it. In fact, I don’t think I’ve ever known a more arrogant person in my life. We never got on from the first moment we met – and our relationship deteriorated from there. There was one occasion when I threatened to stick a fork in his hand. I was sort of joking, but there were definitely times when I felt like swinging at him. Or telling him to fork off, if you follow my drift.”

 

“Let me tell you a story. In fact, it’s called the ‘King story’ among those who were present and who believe it’s a perfect example of Pardew’s arrogance. We were staying at a hotel in the North East ahead of a game at Sunderland during Alan’s first season in charge and were about to have our Friday evening meal. The players were restricted to boiled chicken or pasta, or suchlike, whereas the rest of the West Ham party had the choice of the entire menu. I sat down with Pardew, kit manager Eddie Gillam, physiotherapist John Green and fitness coach Tony Strudwick, who now works for Manchester United and has done very well for himself. We ordered our meals and suddenly Pardew asked us all what we were having. I think Eddie said he’d gone for the chicken, while I’d chosen the steak. Pards then turned to Struds, who revealed whatever it was he’d asked for. ‘That sounds good,’ said Pards. ‘Tell you what; if yours is better than mine when it turns up, I’m having that.’ That was one of the things he’d always say: I’m having that. ‘See that bloke’s haircut? I’m having that.’ He said it all the time. Anyway, I wasn’t ‘having that’ at all. So I said, ‘Well, you’re certainly not having my dinner. You’ll get a fork in the back of your hand!’ Pardew sort of laughed, before turning back to Struds and saying, ‘Yeah, if yours is better than mine, I’m having that.’ Our meals eventually arrived and Pards looked at Tony and said, ‘Yeah, I was right, yours definitely looks much better than mine; I’m having that.’ And he went to swap the plates over. ‘You can’t do that!’ I said. ‘What do you mean?’ he asked. ‘You can’t just take somebody else’s dinner,’ I said in disbelief. And he replied, without any hint of a joke, ‘When you’re the King, you can do anything.’ Eddie, Tony, John and I just looked at each other and there was an uncomfortable silence for a moment. Struds was a nice guy but he could be a bit of a ‘yes man’ at times and so he just allowed Pardew to swap the plates. However, the rest of us were flabbergasted by it all and we ended up discussing what had happened in the bar. Alan kept a straight face when referring to himself as ‘the King’ and I just couldn’t believe the arrogance of the man.”

Now I truly hate him.

 

You don't fuck with another man's dinner. You just don't.

[Anubis]

The Seven Degrees Of Alan Pardew

 

Annoyed

 

 

 

 

Angry.

 

 

 

 

The cusp of explosion.

 

 

 

 

There she blows!

 

 

 

 

Incandescent rage.

 

 

 

 

Oh fuck, what have I done.

 

 

 

 

 

Grim acceptance.

 

[Rick Sanchez C-137]

I'd have fucking crammed his own dinner into his throat myself.

[Joe Strummer]

He really is a despicable cunt. Hopefully his old team Reading can beat him on Friday and get the cunt sacked.

[Herp McDerp]

Pardew is a expert on cheating

 

[Crazy Dave]

Pardew can do one, the fucking dinner stealing cunt. 

 

How dya like them apples, King?

[AngryOfTuebrook]

He really is a despicable cunt. Hopefully his old team Reading can beat him on Friday and get the cunt sacked.

I hope the winner is scored by someone called Cromwell or Robespierre.

 

Le roi se meurt.