Workplace pranks

[Sugar Ape]

Feel free to post your favourite funny/vindictive pranks you have played on others, but I mainly just wanted a place to post these complaints. Not real, but funny nonetheless.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Ian Sea]

Ha ha ha! David Thorne is a funny bastard!

[Bjornebye]

David Thorne is the new jesus. 

 

My mate Tracy a few years ago borrowed my charger and left her phone on my desk charging.... I text about 15 people a message along the lines of, oh my god I am so embarrassed, i farted and bloody shit came out, on way home now, everyone in work taking the piss i feel awful etc. I then sat there as her phone kept getting texts and phone calls. i even text it to her mum. she came over an hour later to get her phone, i passed it to her and said its not stopped getting texts mate, she took about 5 steps then ran back and fucking battered me. 

 

brilliant. 

[Adebisi]

Lad at work brought in a new toaster and stuck a note on it saying it was voice activated. 

Even when the fourteenth person fell for it, it was still funny. 

[General Dryness]

Left a note for the office secretary saying a Mr Lyon had called and would she call him back. Unfortunately the number I left was the number of the local zoo. Which curiously enough doesn't have any lions.

 

Simple but effective.

[Nelly-Szoboszlai]

Left a note for the office secretary saying a Mr Lyon had called and would she call him back. Unfortunately the number I left was the number of the local zoo. Which curiously enough doesn't have any lions.

 

Simple but effective.

And from The Wire?

[General Dryness]

And from The Wire?

 

Since I did this on April Fools Day 1993, no.

[Bjornebye]

Left a note for the office secretary saying a Mr Lyon had called and would she call him back. Unfortunately the number I left was the number of the local zoo. Which curiously enough doesn't have any lions.

 

Simple but effective.

 

getting done tomorrow. brilliant 

[Remmie]

I consider myself pretty gullible, but my boss at my first job came straight out with fetching him a tub of elbow grease and a tin of tartan paint, so amazingly I didn't fall for it.

[Anubis]

I occasionally make a set of bars out of stiff paper, with a small sign at the bottom reading DO NOT FEED THE ANIMAL(S) and then slip it into the photoframes containing kids pictures that sit on a given secretary's desk.

 

Worst one I ever got caught for was cutting out a picture from a lads mag of some bloke dressed only in boxer shorts thrusting his groin forward, that just happened to be the spit of the senior partner of the firm I was working for at the time, and gluing a sheep in front so that it looked like he was shagging the sheep. Added a speech bubble from the sheep with the Larry The Lamb catchphrase "I'm only a poor little lamb!", and distributed it round the office. He found it on his secretary's desk (the silly cow) and I was hauled into his office for what was, thankfully, only a bollocking. Luckily he was a youngish bloke (late 40s) so could see the immature thought process behind the gag. Definitely thought I was getting sacked that time.

[General Dryness]

I consider myself pretty gullible, but my boss at my first job came straight out with fetching him a tub of elbow grease and a tin of tartan paint, so amazingly I didn't fall for it.

 

All in the realm of left handed screwdrivers, skyhooks, and a bubble for a spirit level.

 

One slightly more original one (well it was twenty years ago) was telling the new lad that one of the franking machines needed to be set up to do bigger envelopes, and the machine ran on a system of weights, but the standard setup was short weights. In order to do the bigger envelopes, a long weight was required, so go to the stores man and tell him you need a long weight.

 

Twenty minutes I stood there before I realized something was up. Bastards.

[Sugar Ape]

Me and a couple of lads pinned this lad we worked with down once ( I know how this sounds, but unfortunately no rape takes place in this tale ) and cut a big clump out of his hair, got his address in Prescot from the staff files, taped the hair to a ransom note threating to kill him unless we got paid 50 Fredo's and sent it to his mum as he still lived with her.

 

His mum was in her mid 60's apparently and shit herself.

 

We also taped a gay and proud sign to his coat one day and he got the bus all the way home with it on. Pity you can't get away with stuff like this in the civil service.

[Guest Kemlynreds]

Used to share an office with an inconsiderate twat who would smoke despite my major objection and thought it was funny. One day I put a small amount of diesel I got from the site tank into his ash tray, I thought it was hilarious, he went outside for a smoke after that.

[Boss]

That thing about using Photobooth to look like your on a rollercoaster had me bursting out laughing, absolute quality. When I used to work in a call centre we used to have this little game where we would make up names for ourselves when we answered the phone. The names would get more and more elaborate until eventually you were pissing yourself laughing as you said them. It was something like "hello my name is Archibald Swift the third" coming from some scouser from Kirby, fucking funny.

[Remmie]

Not at work, not a prank and also sound like Stig mentioning my bird, but fuck the matrix I'm a renegade, I'm posting it here:

 

I was teaching my Ukrainian girlfriend how to play Pooh sticks and decided to up the ante by making the loser have to do a challenge. With my superior pooh-sticking skills I won and made her walk the tourist bridge for 10 minutes with toilet paper sticking out the back of her trousers. When it was pointed out to her she said "I know" and carried on. This was not a stipulation. I'm very proud of her.

[Rico1304]

I think I've mentioned this on here before, but a mate of mine is a plumber and they used to terrify apprentices. His favourite trick was to get the apprentice to hold something heavy with arms outstretched then slide a scaffolding pole along the arm holes of his overalls. He'd then be 'crucified' and attached to scaffolding all day. One time he got a container that had had white spirits in it and filled it up with water, poured the water over the crucified apprentice who because of the smell thought he'd been covered in turps. They then spent 15 mins flicking lit matches at the poor bastard.

[General Dryness]

I think I've mentioned this on here before, but a mate of mine is a plumber and they used to terrify apprentices. His favourite trick was to get the apprentice to hold something heavy with arms outstretched then slide a scaffolding pole along the arm holes of his overalls. He'd then be 'crucified' and attached to scaffolding all day. One time he got a container that had had white spirits in it and filled it up with water, poured the water over the crucified apprentice who because of the smell thought he'd been covered in turps. They then spent 15 mins flicking lit matches at the poor bastard.

 

"When Pranks Go Bad".

[Tossed and blown]

A few years ago the old senior partner got a fax machine installed in his home, and asked for something to be faxed through on headed paper to check it.  We photocopied something offset so only half of it came through and told him to adjust the tracking!

[lifetime fan]

When I first got back from America I worked for a freight and shipping company on a Clark's shoes contract with a mate who was the spitting image of Butch Dingle.

 

Anyway Clark's must have been doing a line of tranny shoes as we got a whole artic of size 10 and 11 red six inch stilettos.

 

Andy takes a pair out of the box and is 'modeling' them walking up and down a conveyor belt coming out of the lorry as the foreman brings the MD of Clark's Europe round the corner to see him mincing away in these slag shoes.

[littletedwest]

just got my part timer to ring Chester zoo. told her a customer had left his work number to call him back asap.

She even said "god he works at chester zoo"

 

before guy on phone started laughing and said someone is playing a joke.

[Stu Monty]

One of the lads I used to work with was a bit touched in the head. Once, walking into the main reception of a quite fancy, pretty busy, building he let some high-powered looking guy get close behind him, clipped his own heels and then looked up at him all confused going: "Why? Why would you do that?" as everyone looked on bemused.

 

I nearly had a heart-attack I was laughing so much.

 

He also threw the 8 ball out of a window once in order to not lose a game of pool.

[AngryOfTuebrook]

Barely a prank, but this afternoon I went over to see one of my colleagues, but he wasn't at his desk.  I asked the girl next to him for a Post-it note and a pencil, as if I'm leaving him a message.  Instead, I put a note on his brew saying "I've farted in this cup".

 

It made me feel a little better.

[Bjornebye]

Lad in work has just helped one of the other lads with his wrapping as he had been into town on his lunch. Without the other lad knowing he has tipped the vodka out of a bottle of absolute that has been bought as a present for his sister (kept it in another bottle for him for after xmas) filled with water and wrapped it up.

[Lee909]

[Remmie]

Reminds me of how you are supposed to trick new bar staff by ordering a Guinness shandy.

 

I've never actually seen this attempted though so am bi-curious to see what'd happen