Wasp...

[Elmyn Noos]

This isnt doing much for your leadership qualities. A wasp that weighs a few grams versus a man in excess of 12? Stone.

Negged. No excuse for this sort of arselickery.

[Bjornebye]

Wasps are gay.  Sp*ders however can fuck right off. or more accurately, I fuck right off when one decides to pop in for a shower 

[VERBAL DIARRHEA]

Buzzin off this thread

[magicrat]

Dangerous creatures I went to their homeland once Alton towers their legions patrol the bins, I swear I saw one wasp and it was the size of half a weetabix.

I can confirm Alton Towers is their headquarters. Chester Zoo is also a major stronghold of their Empire.

[KMD7]

It probably has a very pissed off mate looking for it as we speak

 

[Adebisi]

One went down my shirt in the pub a few months ago. Luckily it was pretty early so not many saw me freaking out like a hysterical women trying to get my shirt off. 

They love the smell of cider and fancy conditioner so they're always hovering around me in the summer, the fucks. People say not to agitate them, but it's pretty hard when ones lingering around your face and a cunt's hair away from your eyeballs. 

[bossy]

I wrote a song for my kids when they were younger, it goes

 

What would you rather bee or a wasp bee or a wasp bee or a wasp?

Of course I'd rather be a bee a wasp is not for me.

 

Sing that and you'll never be scared of them again.

[Bobby Hundreds]

Wasps must think a humans natural state of being is screaming waving around our arms and running short distances. when in groups we do the same but passing the reaction from one person to the next before everybody spreads out. Damn wasps.

[Trumo]

http://www.liverpoolway.co.uk/index.php?/topic/73477-wasps/

[alles ist gut]

I wrote a song for my kids when they were younger, it goes

 

What would you rather bee or a wasp bee or a wasp bee or a wasp?

Of course I'd rather be a bee a wasp is not for me.

 

Sing that and you'll never be scared of them again.

Plus there's every chance your kids get taken away because people think you're mad, saving you hundreds of pounds every Xmas.

[Spy Bee]

Sound like a honey bee https://www.google.co.uk/search?q=honey+bee&espv=210&es_sm=122&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ei=7OffUvOcMcqUhQfvpYDACQ&ved=0CAkQ_AUoAQ&biw=1366&bih=643

[Hand Shandy]

Sounds like Dave's a fanny.

[AL66GOLF]

You are fu**ed when all its mates come looking for him - Sort of a lynch mob like in Alabama - I'd be leaving the country if I was you

[BCM]

Probably nesting between the plasterboard ceiling and your Slates/ Tiles. Might be getting in through the eaves or gaps in the gable end. If its a big wasp its probably a queen in which case there will probably be a massive nest of the fuckers in there.

 

Hope ive put your mind at rest...........

[General Dryness]

I hear its Dad is looking for the cunt that did its boy.

 

[JohnnyH]

Bloody white prods.

[General Dryness]

I reckon you've almost certainly got a nest in your walls, your vents and probably one under the bed too.

 

Good luck.

 

Did you have a survey done when you bought the place Dave? I'd heard rumours that back in the day, in order to cut costs, they would build houses entirely out of wasps nests. With the wasps still inside, in suspended animation like little winged Buck Rogerses. Crazy fools never considered that one day they might wake up. And be angry.

[Anny Road]

This time of year probably a wood wasp. harmless but a scary fucker.

[Alan Sex]

Dave, that wasp is your spirit guide.

 

You should get really really fucking stoned and commune with it to gain insight into the wonders of the universe.

 

Problem with waspy spirit guides is you'll also get stung to fuck.

[Champ]

Dangerous creatures I went to their homeland once Alton towers their legions patrol the bins, I swear I saw one wasp and it was the size of half a weetabix.

 

I was previously unaware of this unit of measurement. 

[Hand Shandy]

It's a bit bigger than half a deep-fried Mars bar.

[Champ]

Sounds like Dave's a fanny.

 

All my illusions shattered

[General Dryness]

Dave, that wasp is your spirit guide.

 

You should get really really fucking stoned and commune with it to gain insight into the wonders of the universe.

 

Problem with waspy spirit guides is you'll also get stung to fuck.

 

Could be worse, your spirit guide could be a Grizzly Bear. Or a Great White Shark. Or a Colossal Squid. Given those options, I'd take the wasp.

[Juniper]

It's the summer wasps you've got to be worried about, flying around pissed up on fermenting fruit growing on trees and shit, kicking off and acting like cunts for no reason.

 

This one was probably bored off its tits, nipping down the shops to get some milk and a twix.

 

Nothing to worry about, Dave

 

[Bjornebye]

Dave earlier