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dave u

Wasp...

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Sat here in my office (loft conversion) minding my own business and all of a sudden this giant wasp appears on the wall in front of me.  No word of a lie, this thing was huge, like a bumble bee or something.  Biggest wasp I've ever seen in my damn life.

 

I'm scared shitless of wasps at the best of time, but at least in the summer I'm on my guard and prepared for them.  When it's January and I'm in the safety of my own home with all the windows shut, the last thing I'm expecting is for one of these fucking monsters to just appear from nowhere.  I completely shit myself and had to run downstairs to grab some air freshener to stun it so I could then throw it out of the window.

 

It's gone now, but I'm a nervous wreck, sitting here wondering how the hell it got in, how the hell it's still alive in fucking January and more to the point, are there any more of the bastards?

 

Horrible this, I can't relax and I keep seeing things out the corner of my eye that aren't even there.  To top it off, I can hardly breathe now due to the amount of air freshener I sprayed on it.

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I have manned up. There was a time when I'd have just legged it downstairs and not returned to the room until someone had killed it.  At least I'm taking care of business myself now.

 

Hate the vile little bastards, if there'd been a snake or even a fucking lion in my office I'd have handled it better than seeing a wasp, especially in the middle of winter.

 

Seriously, how is it still alive and what the hell is it doing?

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I have manned up. There was a time when I'd have just legged it downstairs and not returned to the room until someone had killed it.  At least I'm taking care of business myself now.

 

Hate the vile little bastards, if there'd been a snake or even a fucking lion in my office I'd have handled it better than seeing a wasp, especially in the middle of winter.

 

Seriously, how is it still alive and what the hell is it doing?

 

I reckon it must have been a queen hibernating for the winter , lucky you caught the cunt now , or it might have been curtains for you next july

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We were over run with the unsociable bleeders a couple of years back ,  they were ruining all outside fun so I made a wasp trap for 'em . 

I wouldn't normally be so cruel , but they are vicious little cunts so fuck them .

Caught hundreds and didn't feel any remorse whatsoever

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The purpose of a wasp is to make life miserable for every other living organism in the vicinity, so showing no remorse and killings the fuckers is the correct thing to do.

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Dangerous creatures I went to their homeland once Alton towers their legions patrol the bins, I swear I saw one wasp and it was the size of half a weetabix.

 

I saw one carrying a Toblerone once .

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Real men are scared of wasps.

 

Torturing wasps is fine too - even the RSPCA would agree.

This. I run screaming like a ten year old homosexual whenever I see a wasp. I almost crashed the car I was driving once when one flew in the window. I literally jammed on the brakes, opened the car door and legged it - leaving the car with the engine running just sat in the middle of the road. I'm in awe of Dave on handling it so bravely.

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