Mohamed Salah

[Paulie Dangerously]

I sphinx it's time to stop these puns now

 

You having a fa-laugh-al?

[WhiskeyJar]

Apparently we pay for Salah wages using a pyramid scheme.

[SammyAftershave]

He's bought a new house in Fezakerley.

[VERBAL DIARRHEA]

Some of these puns are a bit dated.

[SammyAftershave]

Get to fig.

[WhiskeyJar]

Salah signed his contract in hero-glyphics.

[deiseach]

It's no surprise that his arrival at the club has led to the rise of Trent Alexandria-Arnold.

[Herp McDerp]

He's not impressed with him is SteveO. Likes talking about him though!

 

I've seen salah twice this season and he's been massively disappointing both times unfortunately. Against city he showed pace but also that he's not cut out or this league, no intelligence, can't pass, can't cross, one footed. Same last night.

Sandro will be the better purchase.

 

In alll honesty he's confirmed his mediocrity as far as I'm concerned. He's quick but that's it. He's bang average.

 

 

Liverpool have won two games this season. One against a team with zero points and another when Arsenal were being ultra Arsenal.

 

Salah's performance against City was abysmal. He obviously had the legs on Otamendi but literally every single time he fluffed the good opportunity tha this pace afforded him. He's a less talented Navas.

 

Dzeko got twice as many goals as him last season.

 

Serie A is a shadow of it's shadow these days. Did you see his performance against City? Were they impressed on RAWK?

 

Time after time he had the ball in a dangerous position but either didn't know what to do or simply wasn't good enough to do it.

 

Quick, definitely quick. But definitely average unfortunately. Liverpool are hundreds of millions of pounds in debt so they need their big money signings to be successful but I think they've made a boo boo here unfortunately.

 

Any further updates from SteveO?

[Aventus]

Any further updates from SteveO?

Last I heard he was still living in de-nile about Salah being a top player.

[Numero Veinticinco]

He's bought a new house in Fezakerley.

What province of Madrid is that in?

[Remmie]

He's bought a new house in Fezakerley.

Fez is in Morocco you fucking dick splash

[INTORRESTING]

You've let the hat out of the bag there.

[Anubis]

These Salah puns souk.

[deiseach]

I was about to make a hat-based joke about James Milliner. But his name is Miller and millers make flour, not hats. Bullet dodged.

[James Dean]

So the "player of the year" thing. How many of these awards are there, and when's the vote?

Doesn't the players vote in January or something? If so, De Bruyne wins it by a distance.

[Tony Moanero]

That deserves its own thread pronto.

That’s ace. What’s the significance of Bungle from Rainbow though?

[VladimirIlyich]

That’s ace. What’s the significance of Bungle from Rainbow though?

He's a bit zippy?

[SammyAftershave]

Fez is in Morocco you fucking dick splash

 

Splitter!

[Paulie Dangerously]

Can any of our resident statisticians come up with a way I can claim that Mo's scoring record has/will beat Dixie Deans based on xg chances or some shit like that? 

[VladimirIlyich]

Can any of our resident statisticians come up with a way I can claim that Mo's scoring record has/will beat Dixie Deans based on xg chances or some shit like that?

Yeah,under the current football laws you cannot simply barge the keeper into the back of the net while he has the ball nor kick him like a football until he drops it and you kick it into the net yourself.

[Paulie Dangerously]

Yeah,under the current football laws you cannot simply barge the keeper into the back of the net while he has the ball nor kick him like a football until he drops it and you kick it into the net yourself.

 

I might do a Steve O and claim under current law 20% of his goals would've been fouls and/or offside

[VladimirIlyich]

I might do a Steve O and claim under current law 20% of his goals would've been fouls and/or offside

More than 20%,I'd say 50%.

[Paulie Dangerously]

"it's like saying Jackie Stewart in his car would beat Lewis Hamilton in his"

[VladimirIlyich]

"it's like saying Jackie Stewart in his car would beat Lewis Hamilton in his"

If they both had minis.

[El Rojo]

"it's like saying Jackie Stewart in his car would beat Lewis Hamilton in his"

 

'Salah would probably have broken the 100 barrier if he'd been around in those days.'