little things that annoy the shit out of you

[Remmie]

3 minutes ago, Bjornebye said:

You missed my shit joke 

I thought it was that I should sit on my fridge instead. I'm very tired. 

[Engineman Hicks]

2 hours ago, Remmie said:

Furniture being misused by leaving a load of shit all over it. Example: dining room chairs having bags permanently hanging from them filled with the wife's work stuff or kids clothes. Another example: the bed having loads of folded and unfolded clothes strewn over the top of it (despite going to the effort of making it first). I just want to comfortably sit on my chair or lie down without having to rearrange someone else's shit first.

This is the scene in my kitchen tonight

[Bjornebye]

8 hours ago, Engineman Hicks said:

This is the scene in my kitchen tonight

I think you owe Bob an apology! 

[Mook]

The ubiquitousness of the word 'bro'.

 

Just fuck off.

[Captain Turdseye]

6 minutes ago, Mook said:

The ubiquitousness of the word 'bro'.

 

Just fuck off.

It’s rife down here, not to mention all the YouTube videos our kids are growing up watching. I’ve interrupted Turdsette a few times when she’s tried to start a sentence with it. “Stop calling me bro, I’m your father”

 

I’ve found myself saying it before though and instantly hated myself every time. 

[Captain Turdseye]

Rubber dinghy rapids, bro. 

[Elite]

1 minute ago, Captain Turdseye said:

It’s rife down here, not to mention all the YouTube videos our kids are growing up watching. I’ve interrupted Turdsette a few times when she’s tried to start a sentence with it. “Stop calling me bro, I’m your father”

 

I’ve found myself saying it before though and instantly hated myself every time. 

Yep. All the kids are saying it, my 8 year old says it constantly. We are edging towards a world of Arsenal fan TV.

[Captain Turdseye]

It’s gotta be linked to that pink cocaine somehow. 

[VladimirIlyich]

Just now, Captain Turdseye said:

It’s gotta be linked to that pink cocaine somehow. 

You will insist on testing it out on the little ones cornflakes though.

[Mook]

8 minutes ago, Elite said:

Yep. All the kids are saying it, my 8 year old says it constantly. We are edging towards a world of Arsenal fan TV.

 

Maybe that's how we can stop it in its tracks, 'You sound like a fucking Arsenal fan.'. Should be enough to make anyone think twice.

 

I've tried 'Bro? Are you from South Central LA or Musselburgh?' a few times but I just get blank stares from my pair.

[manwiththestick]

40 minutes ago, Elite said:

Yep. All the kids are saying it, my 8 year old says it constantly. We are edging towards a world of Arsenal fan TV.

It's absolutely rife, innit fam?

[Engineman Hicks]

1 hour ago, Elite said:

Yep. All the kids are saying it, my 8 year old says it constantly. We are edging towards a world of Arsenal fan TV.

Angry Claude from Arsen tv killed himself 

[Bjornebye]

1 hour ago, Engineman Hicks said:

Angry Claude from Arsen tv killed himself 

Awful news for his fam. 

[manwiththestick]

1 hour ago, Engineman Hicks said:

Angry Claude from Arsen tv killed himself 

To be fair, Claude seemed like decent chap, not like the other blerts that were on their channel at the time.

[Captain Turdseye]

Bro took the L like a man, bruv. 

[Harry's Lad]

Arseperanto. It's their own language innit.

[johnsusername]

Why are Swizzles lollipops so difficult to open, fucks sake. 

[Engineman Hicks]

1 hour ago, manwiththestick said:

To be fair, Claude seemed like decent chap, not like the other blerts that were on their channel at the time.

There was an issue with him calling Tottenham’s Son “dvd” as a racial slur. Refers to korean blokes going round north London pubs selling bootleg dvds. Doesn’t happen anymore obviously. He was sacked from the channel. Quite a sad story. 

[Bjornebye]

Arsenal fans tv are no “if me uncle was me auntie he’d have bollocks” 

[Elite]

1 hour ago, Engineman Hicks said:

There was an issue with him calling Tottenham’s Son “dvd” as a racial slur. Refers to korean blokes going round north London pubs selling bootleg dvds. Doesn’t happen anymore obviously. He was sacked from the channel. Quite a sad story. 

 

Yeah, they sell IPTV subscriptions now 

[Fugitive]

I’ve booked a few days off work to have little down time, decided to have a few beers and 3 beers in I’ve had 3 bad shits and my arsehole is burning. I maybe drink once every 2 weeks and I’m now shitting everytime I even look at a beer.

 

Why? It never used to be like this but I can’t even enjoy a beer without my bowels opening up like Mount Vesuvius. 
 

 

[VladimirIlyich]

4 hours ago, Fugitive said:

I’ve booked a few days off work to have little down time, decided to have a few beers and 3 beers in I’ve had 3 bad shits and my arsehole is burning. I maybe drink once every 2 weeks and I’m now shitting everytime I even look at a beer.

 

Why? It never used to be like this but I can’t even enjoy a beer without my bowels opening up like Mount Vesuvius. 
 

 

Something in the beer? The wheat maybe? Coeliac Disease or Gluten Allergy?

[Fugitive]

34 minutes ago, VladimirIlyich said:

Something in the beer? The wheat maybe? Coeliac Disease or Gluten Allergy?

It’s the same beer I’ve drank for years and I’ve just recently had a full MOT medically wise and also done one of those allergy and intolerance tests through the post after a sudden intolerance to milk. Im thinking I’ve become a massive lightweight 

[polymerpunkah]

Change for the sake of change.

 

Opened Outlook this morning, to find that they've segregated my inbox between "focus" and "other".

 

The reason I use their program in the first place is to consolidate all my various email accounts into one spot so I don't have to go looking to find all my messages.

 

And how would they have any idea which emails I would focus on in the first place? 

 

Wasted five minutes this morning changing it back.

 

Cunts.

[Remmie]

I had the wife and kids out the house for the unmentionable yesterday, a rare and welcome scenario. Decided to invite a friend over to watch with me and he brought his fucking bird and her son over. 

 

Teach me not to go out and watch it but it really took the jam out my doughnut.