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little things that annoy the shit out of you

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Women with cosmetically pumped up lips. Seem to be fucking everywhere these days. I know it's personal choice and all that, but it doesn't look good. It makes you look like Janice from the muppet show.

51gqpj7br3v51.jpg?auto=webp&s=c1701de12f

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10 hours ago, Rushies tash said:

Women with cosmetically pumped up lips. Seem to be fucking everywhere these days. I know it's personal choice and all that, but it doesn't look good. It makes you look like Janice from the muppet show.

51gqpj7br3v51.jpg?auto=webp&s=c1701de12f

The puppet is more attractive.

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On 08/06/2022 at 20:20, Captain Turdseye said:


 

It’s free, therefore I accept every second time I’m asked. They’re the rules. If the barber is always asking, it might be a sign that your eyebrows need a wee trim. 

Dennis Healey lives on the forum.

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On 08/06/2022 at 20:33, littletedwest said:

Flies. Millions of the bastards, moment I go for the fly spray they disappear.


 

 

 

 

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Toasted sandwich machines where the place to insert the sandwich isn’t big enough to accommodate the size of the bread. They all seem designed for ‘old lady sized loaves’. 
 

Well Mr Breville, here’s some news for you. I’m not an old lady. 

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46 minutes ago, Babb'sBurstNad said:

Gumtree time-wasters.

 

Absolute vermin.

I remember years ago putting my mates number up on Portsmouth Gumtree saying 'she's' down for the weekend if anyone wants to hook up etc etc

 

By 2pm on the Friday he'd been sent dick pics, had about 100 missed calls. It was amazing watching it unfold from across the office. 

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Whenever I have a tradesman doing work in my house over the years, multiple times, odd jobs they love the radio which is fine but every single fucking time without exception ghetto superstar comes on. I've never had work done without ghetto superstar playing at least once. Do tradesman have their own station.

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Fucking moths. Three times my van alarm went off last night, the third being around 12.30am. The first 2 times I went out I checked around, opened the doors etc but the little bastard must have been hiding just to piss me off. The third time I decided to start the engine in the hope that it would reset the alarm and as I got back out the van this fucking white monstrosity- the size of a Big Mac - decided to throw all kind of shapes in front of the internal light.

 

I had to keep the door open to try to get it to fly out but this kept the light on so it carried on partying. I turned the light out but then couldn’t see it, so the light went back on and it went frigging nuts again.

 

I must have spent the best part of 5 minutes at 12.30 at night, clothed only in a dressing gown and boxer shorts, desperately trying to twat this moth while my wife was laughing her fucking head off at the bedroom window. When the offending bastard finally left the van, I tripped up on the step down and nutted my car. 
 

No mercy to any moths in future, cunts!

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When people hear you're ex forces and automatically assume you're a flag shagger.

 

It's the oppressed we train to defend. You wank over them wars. 

 

Try and stick up for the oppressed in civvy street? Woke lefty. You crack on wanking yourself to death in your help for heroes t-shirt pal. 

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On 08/06/2022 at 20:20, Captain Turdseye said:


 

It’s free, therefore I accept every second time I’m asked. They’re the rules. If the barber is always asking, it might be a sign that your eyebrows need a wee trim. 


Eyebrows and ears every time. 

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When the straw in a spray bottle is too short to catch the last of the contents, or positioned at an angle that renders the pump ineffective.

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Having reserved train tickets and they’re right next to the priority seating. That whole area should be just priority seating and reservations elsewhere.

 

Invariably you have to get up and move or you look like a right cunt.

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2 hours ago, Trumo said:

When the straw in a spray bottle is too short to catch the last of the contents, or positioned at an angle that renders the pump ineffective.

Flash spray is a cunt for that, you end up with cramp in your hand, angling the bottle backwards to use it once it's below about a fifth full.

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Teenagers who think fish fingers grow on trees, instead of being £3.30 for a pack of ten in Morrisons when they used to be £2.00.

 

Oh and the Captain with his fucking table. You’d think he’d tone down his over enthusiastic smile, given how much he’s charging us for his produce. 

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18 minutes ago, YorkshireRed said:

Teenagers who think fish fingers grow on trees, instead of being £3.30 for a pack of ten in Morrisons when they used to be £2.00.

 

Oh and the Captain with his fucking table. You’d think he’d tone down his over enthusiastic smile, given how much he’s charging us for his produce. 

If he was a real person, he would undoubtedly be a kiddy fiddler.  All those young boys alone on sailing trips. Never trusted him. We should have a thread on fictional characters who are probably sex offenders. 

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Never understood the appeal of fish fingers, if you are going to go processed, turkey dinosaurs or chicken nuggets are the far better option.

 

Kids these days....

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5 minutes ago, Elite said:

Never understood the appeal of fish fingers, if you are going to go processed, turkey dinosaurs or chicken nuggets are the far better option.

 

Kids these days....

Each to their own but I’ve been a fish finger sandwich man from way back. Long before the gastro pub crowd got into them and started paying £200 for one served in a miniature wheelbarrow and garnished with garden shrubbery. 

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John Hammond in the original Jurassic Park is actually a bit of a bellend. Not content with re-introducing human heating dinosaurs back onto the planet, he also manages to have some very fucking annoying traits. He says "spared no expense" about 42 times. When his grandkids are missing in the park he's just sat there stuffing his face. He lets Ellie go to the compound to turn Jurassic Park back online, some gentleman. Blags on that he's a man of the people near the start saying they won't price people out of tickets, my arse. He's a cunt there I said it. 

 

Oh and he lands his helicopter on the archeological site like the self-centred prick that he is 

 

EDIT: And why wouldn't you have manual locking on doors in a fucking dinosaur park 

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