little things that annoy the shit out of you

[Bob]

On 18/12/2021 at 16:54, TheBitch said:

I’m getting seriously fucked off with my phone autocorrecting good to goof, when the fuck have I ever used the word goof, I’ve checked the autocorrect bollocks in settings and it’s all clear. 
 

I’m convinced the ghost of Steve Jobs is just fucking with me; I’m losing my mind with this now as the amount of times I’ve sent messages to people without checking my spelling and I’ve been made to look a fucking halfwit is ridiculous. 

My phone refuses to correct my most common typo, which is where my fat thumb enters “the” as “tye”.

 

I presume it’s because I’ve typed it wrong so many times it assumes it must be intentional, but it used to correct it and I never told it not to, because why would I? But now most of my texts or forum posts now have “tye” in them at least once.

[Mook]

How Americans pronounce the 'L' in calm.

[sir roger]

1 hour ago, YorkshireRed said:

Shared a house at University with a few lads I actually knew from home.
 

One of them was so clueless he asked me how to make a baked potato. I told him, but was in for a shock when he eventually put his perfectly cooked spud on his plate as it was caked in mud. 

 

His response when I politely called him a fucking idiot? He told me he hadn’t washed his potato because I didn’t tell him he needed to. He’d assumed the mud would dissolve in the oven. 
 

Nearly thirty years later, I still feel somewhat responsible for that baked potato ending up in the bin. I think of it often. 

When they were kids , the wife went with her mum and sisters for the whole summer holidays to her aunties in Kettering , and for the whole six weeks or so her dad would not eat anything other than toast for breakfast and sandwiches for dinner and tea.

[VERBAL DIARRHEA]

15 minutes ago, Mook said:

How Americans pronounce the 'L' in calm.

Carlmm

[Rico1304]

3 hours ago, Bob Spunkmouse said:

My phone refuses to correct my most common typo, which is where my fat thumb enters “the” as “tye”.

 

I presume it’s because I’ve typed it wrong so many times it assumes it must be intentional, but it used to correct it and I never told it not to, because why would I? But now most of my texts or forum posts now have “tye” in them at least once.

If you put a contact in your phone for fuck, cunt, wanker etc then it automatically enters the dictionary. Much quicker than going through the rigmarole of adding them manually.  

[leslie]

13 hours ago, Mook said:

How Americans pronounce the 'L' in calm.

how the Irish say filum for film

[Bruce Spanner]

10 hours ago, Rico1304 said:

If you put a contact in your phone for fuck, cunt, wanker etc then it automatically enters the dictionary. Much quicker than going through the rigmarole of adding them manually.  

 

If that's true that's amazing, cheers.

[Bjornebye]

19 minutes ago, Bruce Spanner said:

 

If that's true that's amazing, cheers.

“Babe, your phones ringing, who the hell is Dicksniffing Thundercunt?” 

[A Red]

 

The way this cunt talks winds me up no end. I was watching a thing last night he was doing on New Zealand and I nearly threw the tele out the window

[Rico1304]

26 minutes ago, A Red said:

 

The way this cunt talks winds me up no end. I was watching a thing last night he was doing on New Zealand and I nearly threw the tele out the window

His biography is tedious beyond belief. 

[sir roger]

31 minutes ago, Rico1304 said:

His biography is tedious beyond belief. 

Bit like him

[dockers_strike]

Shoppers in Asda, usually 40 something women, who either block the aisle with their trolley while gossiping with their next door neighbour they've just bumped into or, stand in front of the shelf taking an age to read the labels on two items they're considering putting in their shopping basket who dont move when you politely ask them to, so you can get to the shelf yourself!

[Elite]

Slow cunts at busy traffic lights, especially when you're a few cars behind in the queue and their nonchalance means you end up stuck in yet another phase.

[VladimirIlyich]

2 hours ago, A Red said:

 

The way this cunt talks winds me up no end. I was watching a thing last night he was doing on New Zealand and I nearly threw the tele out the window

Who is he? Tention's Law.

[Shitty Arse]

Some bird on my Facebook feed who is anti vax posted a video of Matthew Le Tissier earlier talking about the alarming increase in athletes having heart problems since the introduction of covid vaccines. I have a policy of not interacting online with people like this. I even avoid it on here. But the combination of Le Tissier, who I’ve always disliked, plus the fucking comments. “Great man met him on the last march” “alpha energy right there” “ we need more non cowards like him”….. It took some restraint not to actually pull her up on posting such fucking shite. Since when is Matt Le Tissier a fucking authority figure on virology and immunology? Utter fucking cunts.

[Tony Moanero]

1 hour ago, VladimirIlyich said:

Who is he? Tention's Law.

Griff Rhys Jones

 

[Tony Moanero]

4 hours ago, A Red said:

 

The way this cunt talks winds me up no end. I was watching a thing last night he was doing on New Zealand and I nearly threw the tele out the window

Negged. I like his stuff.

[VladimirIlyich]

25 minutes ago, Tony Moanero said:

Griff Rhys Jones

 

Wow. He's changed a lot.

[Mike D]

When people write something in full capital letters, like a graffiti tag but will dot the i! 

[Evelyn Tentions]

On 03/02/2022 at 00:07, A Red said:

 

The way this cunt talks winds me up no end. I was watching a thing last night he was doing on New Zealand and I nearly threw the tele out the window

Who the fuck is he?

[Tony Moanero]

41 minutes ago, Evelyn Tentions said:

Who the fuck is he?

Griff Rhys Jones

[Evelyn Tentions]

I liked him with Mel Smith but everything I've seen lately, he comes across as a pretentious twat.

[Alan Sex]

“Happy Wife Happy Life”. 
 

It’s complete bullshit. 
 

It’s the toxic femininity version of “make me a sandwich, bitch”. 
 

Pisses me off that it’s seen as acceptable to plaster it all over mugs etc. 

[Tony Moanero]

21 minutes ago, Alan Sex said:

“Happy Wife Happy Life”. 
 

It’s complete bullshit. 
 

It’s the toxic femininity version of “make me a sandwich, bitch”. 
 

Pisses me off that it’s seen as acceptable to plaster it all over mugs etc. 

Yeah, you hear people say things like “My wife is high maintenance”. It absolutely wrecks my head. For goodness’ sake, man, grow a pair of balls!*

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

*I’m the one who’s high maintenance in our house.

[Bjornebye]

19 minutes ago, Alan Sex said:

“Happy Wife Happy Life”. 
 

It’s complete bullshit. 
 

It’s the toxic femininity version of “make me a sandwich, bitch”. 
 

Pisses me off that it’s seen as acceptable to plaster it all over mugs etc. 

Yeah but “life’s a bitch then you marry one” has been around all sorts for years.