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little things that annoy the shit out of you

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30 minutes ago, suzy said:

The lad next door to us has started throwing his basket ball at the wall of their house, if I’m anywhere except in my living room with the tv on I can hear it thud thud thudding. It goes right through me and he’ll do it for about an hour at a time! Argh.

Back in the early 90's, probably around the time of space jam coming out I asked my parents for a basketball and net food my birthday. 

 

The day arrived, and as expected, the ball and net where there, my oul boy screwed it onto the back of the house and yours truly started bouncing that ball at the first opportunity. 

 

I'd say I was only doing for ten minutes, when my mam storms out and takes the ball off me and just says, "not a fucking hope you're bouncing that thing again" 

 

My dad was forced to take the net down that night and I never saw the ball again. 

 

I have to admit, I can't blame her one bit. Some cunt kids across the road from me played basketball two doors up from me all last summer. 

 

Boom, boom boom fucking boom. The nice was excruciating..... 

 

Thankfully, the house they where renting was sold and the kids fucked off. Jesus the noise was terrible. 

 

No wonder the Americans go around shooting each other, they're probably driven demented by all those poxy basketballs

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8 minutes ago, chrisbonnie said:

 

 

No wonder the Americans go around shooting each other, they're probably driven demented by all those poxy basketballs

Haha, I think you’re on to something there!

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54 minutes ago, chrisbonnie said:

 

 

I'd say I was only doing for ten minutes, when my mam storms out and takes the ball off me and just says, "not a fucking hope you're bouncing that thing again" 

 

 

Haha - that’s brilliant.

 

“I don’t care if you’ve just bought it and put it up, I’m not listening to him bounce that ball all frigging day. Take. The net. Down. Now”

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4 hours ago, chrisbonnie said:

Back in the early 90's, probably around the time of space jam coming out I asked my parents for a basketball and net food my birthday. 

 

The day arrived, and as expected, the ball and net where there, my oul boy screwed it onto the back of the house and yours truly started bouncing that ball at the first opportunity. 

 

I'd say I was only doing for ten minutes, when my mam storms out and takes the ball off me and just says, "not a fucking hope you're bouncing that thing again" 

 

My dad was forced to take the net down that night and I never saw the ball again. 

 

I have to admit, I can't blame her one bit. Some cunt kids across the road from me played basketball two doors up from me all last summer. 

 

Boom, boom boom fucking boom. The nice was excruciating..... 

 

Thankfully, the house they where renting was sold and the kids fucked off. Jesus the noise was terrible. 

 

No wonder the Americans go around shooting each other, they're probably driven demented by all those poxy basketballs

TemptingInsistentCranefly-max-1mb.gif

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I tell you what really annoys me, it's been pissing me off for years, how Digestive biscuits are always about 2 millimetres too big to get a full one in your mouth.

 

It's especially infuriating when dunking the cunts.

 

Actually angry just thinking about this now.

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People prefacing words with 'super'

 

They were super excited 

I was super tired

 

Get right to fuck with that shit.

 

My missus said someone was 'super grumpy' and I pulled her up on it & we fell out. I think she knows I'm right but can't back down on principle.

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5 minutes ago, Mook said:

People prefacing words with 'super'

 

They were super excited 

I was super tired

 

Get right to fuck with that shit.

 

My missus said someone was 'super grumpy' and I pulled her up on it & we fell out. I think she knows I'm right but can't back down on principle.

I keep seeing people use “super stoked” and “super pumped” for excited. It winds me up something rotten.

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6 minutes ago, Mook said:

People prefacing words with 'super'

 

They were super excited 

I was super tired

 

Get right to fuck with that shit.

 

My missus said someone was 'super grumpy' and I pulled her up on it & we fell out. I think she knows I'm right but can't back down on principle.

You see this a lot on the hellhole that is LinkedIn.

 

I’m super excited to announce that I’m a total cunt.

 

I’m super boring and vacuous and should be shot.


I’m more super than you at being super.

 

Stuff like that anyway..

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3 hours ago, Mook said:

People prefacing words with 'super'

 

They were super excited 

I was super tired

 

Get right to fuck with that shit.

 

My missus said someone was 'super grumpy' and I pulled her up on it & we fell out. I think she knows I'm right but can't back down on principle.


I’ve mentioned this before. 
 

Super cunts. 

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4 hours ago, YorkshireRed said:

You see this a lot on the hellhole that is LinkedIn.

 

I’m super excited to announce that I’m a total cunt.

 

I’m super boring and vacuous and should be shot.


I’m more super than you at being super.

 

Stuff like that anyway..

All a bit superficial. 

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On 23/07/2021 at 16:13, Colonel Kurtz said:

I've tried ignoring it when I've been on conference calls with important clients and they just bang louder on the door accompanied by shouting my name through the letterbox. Lazy fuckers all of them. 

Is this a house share with strangers or are they actual mates? Either way tell them to take their fucking key or they won’t get in until someone arrives who has got a key to let them in.

 

Thats pissed me off massively that. Inconsiderate and assumptive cunts. I hope it’s not yours family after that rant. If so, apologies, but the point stands. Selfish

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2 minutes ago, belarus said:

Is this a house share with strangers or are they actual mates? Either way tell them to take their fucking key or they won’t get in until someone arrives who has got a key to let them in.

 

Thats pissed me off massively that. Inconsiderate and assumptive cunts. I hope it’s not yours family after that rant. If so, apologies, but the point stands. Selfish

It's his family mate. 

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Wait until they all go out one day (preferably a cold rainy day) then follow them out,  leaving your mobile somewhere close to the door so the ringing would be audible outside. Have a nice day out and give them time to have all arrived, then return. Forgot my mobile, should've taken your keys, hope you're not cold etc.

Either that or take out a mortgage on the Porsche and get one of those fingerprint locks

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On 30/07/2021 at 13:00, Ezekiel 25:17 said:

When you're in the passenger seat and the driver's parking, you take your seat belt off and they feel the need to say 'just hang on a minute', oh ok I was going to get out whilst the car is moving like I always do, but on this occasion I'll wait.

Maybe they just know that they're so shit at parking that there's still a good chance of a crash.

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2 hours ago, Colonel Kurtz said:

Ha ha, its mainly Mrs kurtz or little kids but they are still annoying. 

Does change things a bit to be fair. I don’t think I’d be that annoyed at my wife or my lad knocking to get in. Still fuming at those non-existent, selfish cunts that you house share with though if I’m honest. Can’t let it go.

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On 30/07/2021 at 13:00, Ezekiel 25:17 said:

When you're in the passenger seat and the driver's parking, you take your seat belt off and they feel the need to say 'just hang on a minute', oh ok I was going to get out whilst the car is moving like I always do, but on this occasion I'll wait.

To caveat that, my wife does this, and I’m not telling her to wait as she’s about to leap out, it’s more that she decides that this is the perfect time to get her shit together and manoeuvre herself in front of every mirror I am using to park, creating blind spots and even throwing in obstacles as she leans over, across and behind me to get to something 

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4 minutes ago, belarus said:

To caveat that, my wife does this, and I’m not telling her to wait as she’s about to leap out, it’s more that she decides that this is the perfect time to get her shit together and manoeuvre herself in front of every mirror I am using to park, creating blind spots and even throwing in obstacles as she leans over, across and behind me to get to something 

Ha-ha, well, I can't say much about that.

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On 30/07/2021 at 13:00, Ezekiel 25:17 said:

When you're in the passenger seat and the driver's parking, you take your seat belt off and they feel the need to say 'just hang on a minute', oh ok I was going to get out whilst the car is moving like I always do, but on this occasion I'll wait.

To be fair my wife picked a few of us up after a boozy leaving do and for no apparent reason one of my workmates decided to open the back passenger door and try to get out as she was going around the roundabout at Broadway. I was in the passenger seat and ended up grabbing him by the back of his collar to stop him skidding up Scarisbrick Road at speed. She ripped him to fucking pieces with a rant for the ages.

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Got a £30 fine through the post for allegedly entering a bus lane in Cambridge a week or two ago. They’ve changed the road layout for dropping off/picking up at the train station. I missed the turn and did a u-turn about 3 seconds later but they’re sneakily claiming I was in a bus lane. 
 

Knobheads have even mocked up pictures of me driving my car on a road that has ‘BUS LANE’ painted on it in bright yellow. It’s fucking outrageous. 

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17 hours ago, sir roger said:

To be fair my wife picked a few of us up after a boozy leaving do and for no apparent reason one of my workmates decided to open the back passenger door and try to get out as she was going around the roundabout at Broadway. I was in the passenger seat and ended up grabbing him by the back of his collar to stop him skidding up Scarisbrick Road at speed. She ripped him to fucking pieces with a rant for the ages.

I bet he enjoyed that hangover.

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20 hours ago, sir roger said:

To be fair my wife picked a few of us up after a boozy leaving do and for no apparent reason one of my workmates decided to open the back passenger door and try to get out as she was going around the roundabout at Broadway. I was in the passenger seat and ended up grabbing him by the back of his collar to stop him skidding up Scarisbrick Road at speed. She ripped him to fucking pieces with a rant for the ages.

Old fella in Norris Green use to regularly turn his Reliant Rover upside down turning from Broadway/Broad Lane by St Christopher’s Church onto the roundabout. 

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5 minutes ago, VERBAL DIARRHEA said:

Old fella in Norris Green use to regularly turn his Reliant Rover upside down turning from Broadway/Broad Lane by St Christopher’s Church onto the roundabout. 

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