little things that annoy the shit out of you

[Elite]

2 minutes ago, Colonel Kurtz said:

Ha ha. I think the phrase "more chance of being stuck by lightening" suggests it is not a common occurrence. 2 people a year in the UK at most, hardly worthy of warning by the self important cunts at the Met office really. 

Just makes what happened to that young kid even more tragic. The very definition of bad luck.

[Captain Turdseye]

She’s bought a cheap, shite red top and then washed it along with two of my favourite lilac t-shirts and pairs of shorts. They were my favourite grey clothes before today. 

[Elite]

Sticky fingers.

 

Just peeled a mango, cut it up and put it into a bowl. I've sat down to eat it without washing my hands and my fingers are sticking constantly which is infuriating. Luckily I can solve this instantly but I've been in situations with sticky fingers and nowhere to wash my hands.

[Bjornebye]

 

 

[Mudface]

23 minutes ago, Elite said:

Sticky fingers.

 

Just peeled a mango, cut it up and put it into a bowl. I've sat down to eat it without washing my hands and my fingers are sticking constantly which is infuriating. Luckily I can solve this instantly but I've been in situations with sticky fingers and nowhere to wash my hands.

Just wipe them on the curtains on the way out.

[YorkshireRed]

Non sexual erections that wake you up in the early hours and ruin a good nights sleep. 

[Elite]

1 minute ago, YorkshireRed said:

Non sexual erections that wake you up in the early hours and ruin a good nights sleep. 

The raging ones when you need a piss are the worst. You have to analyse the distance from the bog you need to be at to get it into the bowl. I'm usually not good at this and piss ends up everywhere.

[CapeRed]

Too many to list now, perhaps another sign I'm getting old, but lack of fucking basic manners still piss me off. It costs nothing to say please and thanks or greet you when you say morning.

[Davelfc]

19 minutes ago, CapeRed said:

Too many to list now, perhaps another sign I'm getting old, but lack of fucking basic manners still piss me off. It costs nothing to say please and thanks or greet you when you say morning.

When some people with poor manners refuse to acknowledge when I have stood to the side, allowed them through etc. I just say rather loudly "You're welcome" They usually get flustered and remember their manners. Some don't and possibly then hear me call them wankers. 

[cloggypop]

Flying ants can do one. Stop trying to build an empire down the back of my sweaty t-shirt you fuckers. 

[Evelyn Tentions]

7 hours ago, Colonel Kurtz said:

Ha ha. I think the phrase "more chance of being stuck by lightening" suggests it is not a common occurrence. 2 people a year in the UK at most, hardly worthy of warning by the self important cunts at the Met office really. 

The Yanks have a club for people who've been struck more than once.

[Harry's Lad]

Household pest removal companies.I

 

My Mum went into her bathroom the other day and there were a few wasps in there.

It looked like they were coming in through a small gap at the side of the extractor fan.

 

She rang environmental health at the council and they didn't want to know so had to call one of these companies out.

 

They were there for approximately 3 minutes, sprayed some stuff in the gap, told her it they came back within a week to call them back out and they would reapply free of charge. Beyond a week she would have to pay again.

 

The bill was £173 including VAT. 

 

Thieving bastards.

[VladimirIlyich]

7 hours ago, Evelyn Tentions said:

The Yanks have a club for people who've been struck more than once.

Is it held in a cemetery?

[chrisbonnie]

13 hours ago, YorkshireRed said:

Non sexual erections that wake you up in the early hours and ruin a good nights sleep. 

Isn't that a sign that your heart is still in fine working order? 

 

Piss horns are definitely more annoying. Mainly because you're "semi" asleep and putting off getting up for a piss for what feels like hours, and that's what really ruins your sleep. And stupidly, the next night instead of just getting up for a piss, you do the same thing again....... 

[YorkshireRed]

10 minutes ago, chrisbonnie said:

Isn't that a sign that your heart is still in fine working order? 

Is it? Bring on those erections then. 

[Evelyn Tentions]

5 hours ago, VladimirIlyich said:

Is it held in a cemetery?

Melvyn Roberts of South Carolina made headlines in 2011 for being struck by lightning six times, and by 2015, he’d claimed to have been been struck five more times. The occasions included while Roberts was sitting on a porch and twice while riding on a lawnmower. His wife makes sure she is standing far away from him whenever there is a storm because, she says, “Someone has to call for emergency.”[11] You don’t get struck that many times without gaining some notoriety.

Roberts apparently has medical records stacked to the ceiling and is a local celebrity to the medical community. He has stated that being hit by lightning is like being cooked from the inside out. Unfortunately, being struck that many times doesn’t come without its lasting effects. Roberts has stated that he has suffered headaches, speech problems, nerve damage, and memory loss as a result of the strikes. He has stated sorrowfully that he even has trouble remembering the childhoods of his children.

[Davelfc]

..

[Davelfc]

13 minutes ago, Evelyn Tentions said:

Melvyn Roberts of South Carolina made headlines in 2011 for being struck by lightning six times, and by 2015, he’d claimed to have been been struck five more times. The occasions included while Roberts was sitting on a porch and twice while riding on a lawnmower. His wife makes sure she is standing far away from him whenever there is a storm because, she says, “Someone has to call for emergency.”[11] You don’t get struck that many times without gaining some notoriety.

Roberts apparently has medical records stacked to the ceiling and is a local celebrity to the medical community. He has stated that being hit by lightning is like being cooked from the inside out. Unfortunately, being struck that many times doesn’t come without its lasting effects. Roberts has stated that he has suffered headaches, speech problems, nerve damage, and memory loss as a result of the strikes. He has stated sorrowfully that he even has trouble remembering the childhoods of his children.

I've only ever known one person that got hit by lightning and lived, a dog handler on duty at Greenham Common. 

 

Six times, that's pretty remarkable.

[Bjornebye]

3 minutes ago, Poster said:

I've only ever known one person that got hit by lightning and lived, a dog handler on duty at Greenham Common. 

Fuck me, how many people do you know people who got hit by lightning and did die? What sort of circles do you move in? 

[Davelfc]

1 minute ago, Bjornebye said:

Fuck me, how many people do you know people who got hit by lightning and did die? What sort of circles do you move in? 

I never sent them out with long poles during thunderstorms and you can't prove anything,. 

[Bruce Spanner]

Any Englishman that uses the phrase ‘alwight’ that isn’t Kris Akabusi is a cunt, no exceptions.

 

My grandad didn’t avoid active service during the way for this bullshit.

 

 

[johnsusername]

3 minutes ago, Bruce Spanner said:

Any Englishman that uses the phrase ‘alwight’ that isn’t Kris Akabusi is a cunt, no exceptions.

 

My grandad didn’t avoid active service during the way for this bullshit.

 

 

[Bobby Hundreds]

2 hours ago, Bruce Spanner said:

Any Englishman that uses the phrase ‘alwight’ that isn’t Kris Akabusi is a cunt, no exceptions.

 

My grandad didn’t avoid active service during the way for this bullshit.

 

 

What if they say Woland Wivwon or wip off the wapper too.

[Bobby Hundreds]

That time of year when I have to renew Sky, fuckers want about 20 quid more after me saying I'll quit. Cheeky fuckers say we will reduce the price by removing movies, sports channels.. so what your gonna charge me 40 quid for fucking freeview as most the channels on Sky are exactly that. What does sky provide for its cost the same repeated programmes they can't even be arsed to schedule in a way it at least looks like it's not the same daily repeated shite. They've lost half the football, most the best shite is on streaming apps so why the fuck am I even thinking of renewing its the poorest value pile of shite around.

[Captain Turdseye]

18 hours ago, Bobby Hundreds said:

That time of year when I have to renew Sky, fuckers want about 20 quid more after me saying I'll quit. Cheeky fuckers say we will reduce the price by removing movies, sports channels.. so what your gonna charge me 40 quid for fucking freeview as most the channels on Sky are exactly that. What does sky provide for its cost the same repeated programmes they can't even be arsed to schedule in a way it at least looks like it's not the same daily repeated shite. They've lost half the football, most the best shite is on streaming apps so why the fuck am I even thinking of renewing its the poorest value pile of shite around.

Jib it off. If you really want it then renew on a new customer deal in your missus’ name in a couple of weeks.

 

I showed my loyalty to Sky by taking their upgrade to fibre broadband and then using it to stream Sky Sports and all of their PPV’s.