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little things that annoy the shit out of you

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21 minutes ago, Bjornebye said:

I meant 10's. Fuck off I've got a condition. 

Didn't know wanker's palsy was a legit condition 

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Just now, Colonel Kurtz said:

Ha Ha. Don't joke, he may be lurking on here somewhere. He was a proper angry keyboard warrior with a vendetta against me that went on for years. He would probably fit right in on the GF. 

@Grinch You've been rumbled 

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Not really a little thing that annoys me but what the fuck its a place this thread! I just watched a programme on luxurious hotels and Jesus fucking christ the very wealthy have about as much in common with most people as most people have in common with a sea sponge. Completely different reality, they say if a lion could speak and comprehend perfect English you still couldn't hold a conversation because your realities are so far removed from each other you've no common ground beyond basic animal instincts. You could almost believe the same of the very wealthy.

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1 minute ago, Colonel Kurtz said:

Not all rich people are the same. One of my best friends is incredibly wealthy but you wouldn't know it, drives an old VW, works 7 days weeks and lives in a normal house.  Other wankers wear flash watches, stay in poncey hotels and are mortgaged up to the hilt. 

I mean insane wealth not just rich I know a fair few rich people most people do, they are the same as anybody else I know just a little more smug which I don't mind.

 

In this hotel one guy sent the hotel butler out to pick him up a watch, the watch cost £500,000. The type of wealth that complains because the flower petals are a different shade of yellow than they prefer or have a servant beaten to a pulp because they accidentally made eye contact. My mate worked on billionaires yachts as crew he said most of the self made billionaires were okay, polite and gracious you knew who was boss and they where still pampered prince's but aware of it but their kids where absolute monsters, he said he never met one single rich kid on all the boats he worked on in 20 years who wasn't an absolute twat.

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Fucking clueless drivers. Like many open plan estates, our 'lawn' goes right to the edge of the road. Ive put some 2 foot posts with oblong reflectors on them to help people see then when turning around in the cul de sac.

 

Ecept cunts cannot see them apparently because some clueless cunt has knocked one down and I have to now replant it.

 

Went to the tip yesterday and it was quite busy. Apart from the old dad who parked in the middle of nowhere to empty his Micra, a woman in an X3 parks next to me and proceeds to unload.

 

We both finish about the same time and get in our vehicles. I notice she's eager to go so wait. Now bear in mind she's parked so there just enough room for her to get in her driver's door and the side of my passenger door.

 

So what does the silly cow do to reverse out? She starts turning the fucking steering wheel before her bonnet has even got level with my passenger door never mind the back of my car!

 

When she sees she hasnt enough room to turn, she stops, drives forward a little then tries to reverse turning her fucking wheel again! Im like, WTF, seriously?! I start gesturing to go straight back until she's cleared my car THEN turn the fucking steering wheel.

 

She just sits there looking gromless and gesturing me to go. Fucking hell, how do these people pass their driving test?!

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9 minutes ago, dockers_strike said:

 

She just sits there looking gromless and gesturing me to go. Fucking hell, how do these people pass their driving test?!

Just about every day I see some cunt doing something ridiculous on the road and think exactly the above.

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Speeding drivers quite rightly get pelters , but the amount of drivers who can't trust themselves unless they drive at the speed of a golf cart. The wife nearly stalled the car yesterday following a car down the Hightown bends , it is national speed limit but this car was doing 21 mph and more or less stopping on every bend.

 

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I was on the M25 yesterday, one junction away from getting off onto the M11, then they closed the road because of an accident. Signs all the way along saying all vehicles need to merge onto the two lanes to come off at a slip road. 
 

I got about a mile down before anyone let me into the third lane, never mind the second. And then I sat there whilst hundreds of absolute twats kept haring past in the outside lane, before bullying people into letting them merge two & three lanes across at the last possible second. 
 

Hanging is too good for cunts like that. I swear that if I saw someone who did that in an accident further down the road I would be chuffed to bits and not arsed in the slightest if they were hurt. 
 

The police should be able to crack down on this shit by driving a couple of cars three or four miles up the road and covering the lanes. 

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Some dickhead overtook me going round a roundabout the other day then cut me up causing me to slam on to avoid a collision.

 

I hit the horn, he stops his car in the middle of the roundabout and his passenger who looked off his tits on something is screaming abuse, I give it back, my Mrs is telling me to leave it and the driver takes off with the passenger still giving it the Billy big bollocks.

What a pair of fucking bellends.

 

What annoys me most of all is the fact that in my past I would have taken great delight in spreading the little cunt right up the road, these days I can barely walk 10 paces to the car.

 

Really boils my piss.

 

 

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I had some twat beep me other week. I pulled out in front of him as he had his left indicator on. He beeped, gave me fingers and continued driving obviously with his left indicator still fucking on

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Car scruffs. I don't imagine most people's cars are kept absolutely tidy inside. One or two things might end up lying around before you get round to picking them up, but generally it won't be too bad in there.

 

However...

 

During this pandemic period, I - like most people I guess - have taken to watching a lot of Youtube videos to pass a bit of time. One of the channels I'm addicted to is by a car detailer (he washes and cleans cars, in case you were wondering!) called Detail Geek. It's quite therapeutic to watch dirty cars being cleaned to look almost like new. What bugs me is that these cars are absolutely full of rubbish, especially takeaway rubbish, and even old mouldy food on occasion. Detail Geek clears all that out for them. The question is always asked in the comments, and there is always one person who suggests that the owner might be going through some difficult times and are on their uppers. They are paying a couple of hundred dollars to get their car detailed, so I highly doubt that! It's just lazy fuckers who want to sell the car but don't want it to resemble a dumpster.

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I know a girl who has the front passenger side seat and footwell so full of shite like empty cans, bottles and magazines that when she gave my mate a lift he had to sit in the back in the small space beside her kid’s booster seat where there was just enough room for his legs to go. Apparently she drove like a maniac as well. She’s fit though so I guess in the grand scheme of things it doesn’t really matter. 

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7 hours ago, Colonel Kurtz said:

She’d be filthy between the sheets, absolutely guaranteed.

 

I shared a flat with a girl for a few years and her bedroom was an absolute tip, you couldn’t see the floor for old plates, clothes, magazines etc. 

A floordrobe

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8 hours ago, Colonel Kurtz said:

She’d be filthy between the sheets, absolutely guaranteed.

 

I kidnapped a girl for a few years and her bedroom was an absolute tip, you couldn’t see the floor for old plates, clothes, magazines etc. 

Fixed

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8 hours ago, littletedwest said:

I had some twat beep me other week. I pulled out in front of him as he had his left indicator on. He beeped, gave me fingers and continued driving obviously with his left indicator still fucking on

Unless I see the car slowing right down or motioning to make the turn I generally ignore the cars approaching at a junction indicating left. I probably had a similar incident to you once. 

 

I live in an area where I am constantly sitting behind very old women driving at 20 mph, as fast as 27 on the country lanes. They come to a complete stop at small roundabouts when you can see there's nothing for miles. They often will stop suddenly on main roads to allow people to cross or to wave out cars that are waiting to join the road. I am all for being courteous to other road users and pedestrians but that's carrying it a little too far. 

 

I was driving along one lane yesterday, just passing the cemetery when three loons on motorbikes approached all over the road, one mid wheelie right past me. If you're not driving with a car camera these days then you're mad in my opinion. 

 

Then there was the usual horse and trap crawling down the country lanes, although to be fair they did wait until the evening rush hour to go out for maximum effect. The tractors are those huge ones that look more like monster trucks and they whizz along at a scary speed when you're approaching them from the other side of the road. 

 

The days of going out for a nice drive on glorious summer days has long gone for me, not just the fuel prices, cyclists or the mobile speed cameras (I generally don't speed but I think at times we all drift a little over 30 with the traffic) but driving has not been fun for decades. 

 

I recently got rid of my suv because I was going out less and less, not just the pandemic although that accelerated my decision somewhat. Instead I bought my daughters car, and the day after I bought it I turned on the ignition to be welcomed by the brake warning light. I didn't even get a day, fuck my luck. £156 later that's fixed. I also replaced (myself) the rear bumper that it appears had its name taken far too literally. Tomorrow it's getting a full valet so I can see what colour the seats are and if it came in gloss or matt finish. 

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Noisy wankers on motorbikes.

 

"Ooh, let's go to the nice peaceful Lake District and make loads of racket on our cunt mobiles".

 

We don't want you, now fuck off.

 

378fd8970ee6e7504962cec94e8518e4.jpeg

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2 hours ago, Stouffer said:

Noisy wankers on motorbikes.

 

"Ooh, let's go to the nice peaceful Lake District and make loads of racket on our cunt mobiles".

 

We don't want you, now fuck off.

 

378fd8970ee6e7504962cec94e8518e4.jpeg

Agreed. They think they are the bee-knees as they arent stuck in hot cars.

 

Whilst wearing leather jackets on the hottest day of the year   

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3 hours ago, Stouffer said:

Noisy wankers on motorbikes.

 

"Ooh, let's go to the nice peaceful Lake District and make loads of racket on our cunt mobiles".

 

We don't want you, now fuck off.

 

378fd8970ee6e7504962cec94e8518e4.jpeg

How does it feel generally?
My folks were there last week and said it was really busy (yeah yeah I realise they were there adding to the numbers but they have been going regularly for years.

We know people who live around Aviemore who’re saying the additional visitors or causing real problems. What kind of animals would think it’s ok to set up camp and then leave their actual shit at lay-bys because the official camp sites are full

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1 hour ago, Champ said:

How does it feel generally?
My folks were there last week and said it was really busy (yeah yeah I realise they were there adding to the numbers but they have been going regularly for years.

We know people who live around Aviemore who’re saying the additional visitors or causing real problems. What kind of animals would think it’s ok to set up camp and then leave their actual shit at lay-bys because the official camp sites are full

The lay-by and illegal camping problem is off the charts.

 

I live not far from Wast Water, as one of the more remote lakes it's normally pretty quiet but it's like Benidorm during Cheltenham week at the moment. 

 

There was an emergency the other week where a canoe had overturned and numerous emergency vehicles responded and struggled to get through. 

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19 minutes ago, Stouffer said:

The lay-by and illegal camping problem is off the charts.

 

I live not far from Wast Water, as one of the more remote lakes it's normally pretty quiet but it's like Benidorm during Cheltenham week at the moment. 

 

There was an emergency the other week where a canoe had overturned and numerous emergency vehicles responded and struggled to get through. 

I feel so sorry for you all.
It makes me feel like never leaving the house again

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People who answer a question and start with the word "so" Jessie Ware has just been on ken Bruce and he's asking her about her new music plans etc "What can we expect from the new album? "So...aammmm well its kind of...." Probably should have upgraded this to the rant thread. I'm pissed right off, fucking homogenized leafy London types 

 

Whats the "so" at the start for you fucking glider 

 

 

 

 

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