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little things that annoy the shit out of you


boots123
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People who tell you ‘how they are’ when you ask them ‘how they are?’.

 

Any normal person, particularly those sprinkled with any degree of Britishness, knows that the only acceptable responses to this are;

 

Fine thanks.

 

I’m ok.

 

Good.

 

A reciprocal follow up of “how are you?” is also reasonable and will be answered by one of the above.

 

We are then both free to go about our miserable lives in peace. 

 

Actually telling me your current state of play and forcing me to listen, whilst I’m simultaneously dying inside, is simply not cricket.  

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10 minutes ago, Bobby Hundreds said:

I've never had so much time off in my entire life and rather than use that time usefully, learn something a new skill maybe, improve myself I’ve done absolutely fuck all. I'm absolutely livid with what a cunt I am. I could of invested time in myself. 

 

I learned German last year and have completely forgotten it.

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On 19/02/2021 at 06:40, Bobby Hundreds said:

I've never had so much time off in my entire life and rather than use that time usefully, learn something a new skill maybe, improve myself I’ve done absolutely fuck all. I'm absolutely livid with what a cunt I am. I could of invested time in myself. 

Its human nature to beat yourself up though mate. I've got myself a new qualification over the past 8 months, but I'm still walking around the house saying "I really should completely repaint this place, if only I wasn't so fucking lazy."

 

You always feel like you could do more. Symptom of modern life.

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On 18/02/2021 at 17:03, YorkshireRed said:

People who tell you ‘how they are’ when you ask them ‘how they are?’.

 

Any normal person, particularly those sprinkled with any degree of Britishness, knows that the only acceptable responses to this are;

 

Fine thanks.

 

I’m ok.

 

Good.

 

A reciprocal follow up of “how are you?” is also reasonable and will be answered by one of the above.

 

We are then both free to go about our miserable lives in peace. 

 

Actually telling me your current state of play and forcing me to listen, whilst I’m simultaneously dying inside, is simply not cricket.  

I’ve got a habit of asking people how they are twice on phone calls. Answer by going “hello mate - how you doing? You ok?” Then they respond and I’ll go “good stuff. How you doing then?”

 

Fucking social pariah.

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7 minutes ago, Mudface said:

I hate the messages and prompts from Office- 'we didn't find anything to display here', 'sorry, we couldn't find your file'. What's this 'we' shit? Knock it off with this chummy anthropomorphic bollocks.

 

Bill Gates trying to deflect blame....AGAIN. FUCK YOU AND YOUR MICROCHIPPED VACCINES BILLY BOY. DO YOUR RESEARCH!!

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On 19/02/2021 at 21:19, belarus said:

I’ve got a habit of asking people how they are twice on phone calls. Answer by going “hello mate - how you doing? You ok?” Then they respond and I’ll go “good stuff. How you doing then?”

 

 

That's three times.

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On 08/02/2021 at 18:03, Colonel Kurtz said:
 

Cinderella is basically a gate crasher. I bet tickets for that ball cost £100s and she sneaks in like some fucking freeloader. I bet she took full advantage of the buffet and free Prosecco bar as well, filled her fucking boots then fucks off at midnight leaving the frustrated Prince to have a lonely wank. I want to see a version where she goes home and he stays up till 3 doing lines then bangs both the sisters. That would teach her. 

Typical Tory bastard, wanting to pull up the drawbridge to stop a working class girl making good.

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4 minutes ago, Bobby Hundreds said:

Just read that lady Gagas dog walker was shot and her two dogs were stolen she's offered a reward of $500,000 for their return no questions asked.

 

No questions asked! Some fucker was shot! plus just paying it without consequences means every fuckers dog gets put further at risk. 

If the queen took her Corgis on a trip to say, Zimbabwe and one of her butlers and the dogs got accidentally left behind and kidnapped the'y probably offer some two-bob blag diplomatic benefits for the butlers body to be re-patriated but they'd send the fucking SAS in to save the corgis 

 

They are cute like the cunts

 

6b2fd8d12e0bfc39a2a1df9f9ebf4d1a.gif

 

 

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23 hours ago, Bjornebye said:

If the queen took her Corgis on a trip to say, Zimbabwe and one of her butlers and the dogs got accidentally left behind and kidnapped the'y probably offer some two-bob blag diplomatic benefits for the butlers body to be re-patriated but they'd send the fucking SAS in to save the corgis 

 

They are cute like the cunts

 

6b2fd8d12e0bfc39a2a1df9f9ebf4d1a.gif

 

 

When the Royal Flight upgraded their Andover aircraft to the Bae 146 in the 80s they brought the Corgis to our unit to take them on a test flight to see if they liked it. I shit you not, can't imagine how much money was wasted on that little escapade. 

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