little things that annoy the shit out of you

[lifetime fan 10,853]

I growing hairs on your neck from shaving. 
 

Fucking little cunts hurt like hell. 

[lifetime fan 10,853]

*ingrowing. 

[VladimirIlyich 7,539]

1 hour ago, lifetime fan said:

*ingrowing. 

You are a freak. Bristolian Werewolf in Cornwall.

[Harry's Lad 792]

People who cross the road diagonally instead of directly across which is the safest and shortest route.

Saw some idiot pushing a buggy doing this earlier.

Stupid cow.

[Bjornebye 25,577]

When you're flicking through the channels and see something on that you fancy a look at its always on the fucking adverts. 

[Elite 8,791]

People that go to walk in barbers and want the full works like it's a spa day. 

[Chairman Meow 3,686]

The fact that any pretence of actual customer support has been abandoned "your call is important to us", well if it was that important to you then maybe you would have someone answer it instead of battering my ears with really shit muzak. Then you'd maybe take it one step further and actually train the person who answers the phone so that they can actually help. 

 

[Furmedge 2,335]

.

[Bjornebye 25,577]

5 minutes ago, Furmedge said:

.

Absolutely. Cunts 

[The Golden Eel 3,937]

Has there ever been a quiz question that begins "On which radio soap opera" to which the answer hasn't been "The Archers"? 

[Babb'sBurstNad 9,230]

People using emoticons to express sadness when someone dies. They'll be on gravestones next.

 

Beloved husband and father

Taken too soon

*sad face*

[Bruce Spanner 2,849]

Waking up, realising there no water in the glass, going to fill, drinking on the way back,getting back in bed, putting empty glass down by the bedside, realising you are still thirsty...

[Elite 8,791]

2 hours ago, Bruce Spanner said:

Waking up, realising there no water in the glass, going to fill, drinking on the way back,getting back in bed, putting empty glass down by the bedside, realising you are still thirsty...

Drink 3 litres of water throughout the day and you won't have this problem. Plus if you do need to get up for a drink you'll need a piss anyway.

[Geoff Woade 600]

Local newspaper stories that have people moaning about getting a parking ticket, not even that they disagree it was correctly issued, just always along the lines of ‘I should be let off because *insert reason*
 

I have no time at all for parking companies, think the fines are outrageous but we know this. Tonnes of people get caught but I’ve no idea why papers would even entertain them.

 

They always try for an angle as well, Barbara, 57 and who in 2005 broke her arm said, ‘yes I got back to the car an hour later than I paid for but it was an honest mistake so I think they should show some common sense and let me off, my dad was born during the war for gods sake’

 

Usually accompanied by a picture of them sat on the edge of their armchair, walking stick leaning against it, full compo face, holding the letter in one hand and looking through a photo album of dead relatives with the other. Box of tissues on the arm of the chair to show they’ve been crying at the stress of it.

 

Then the article ends with a line from someone at the council who’d been forced to comment saying the ticket was correctly issued because the person overstayed.

 

What a waste of ink and everybody’s time.

[Trumo 14,139]

Barbara is no Arjen Rudd.

[Bjornebye 25,577]

The light switches at the top and bottom of the stairs being out of sync. Fucking cunts to a man 

[Colonel Kurtz 395]

DJs shortening the names of bands to make out they’re all best mates. There’s a woman on Absolute radio who does this so  it’s all “the Manics” or “the Chillies” . Drives me fucking mad. 

[sir roger 6,001]

Getting out of the shower feeling great and getting the first burble in your stomach that suggests you need a shit.

[Bjornebye 25,577]

13 minutes ago, sir roger said:

Getting out of the shower feeling great and getting the first burble in your stomach that suggests you need a shit.

You shit after a shower? 

[sir roger 6,001]

Only if I havent shit in the shower

[Kevin D 7,582]

People calling Covid19 "rona" or "the rona".

[Bobby Hundreds 8,272]

Just got an email from "Norton" telling me I'm insecure. Fucks it gotta do with them.

[Furmedge 2,335]

Thinking you've got a couple of months before the new financial year to devise a new tool for work only for the director of the company booking a meeting in for this Thursday morning for an 'update and see where you're up to so far'.

 

Currently at the *checks notes........* fucking not a thing stage.

[Bobby Hundreds 8,272]

Fucking virgin media increasing their bill by another £3.50 no other service i use goes up as often or as much as these fuckers charge for zero difference in what your paying for. "Due to improving our service" like fuck you grabbing bastards. I hope some quirk of fate leaves Branson destitute the cunt.

[Poster 2,847]

On 06/01/2021 at 11:44, Geoff Woade said:

Local newspaper stories that have people moaning about getting a parking ticket, not even that they disagree it was correctly issued, just always along the lines of ‘I should be let off because *insert reason*
 

I have no time at all for parking companies, think the fines are outrageous but we know this. Tonnes of people get caught but I’ve no idea why papers would even entertain them.

 

They always try for an angle as well, Barbara, 57 and who in 2005 broke her arm said, ‘yes I got back to the car an hour later than I paid for but it was an honest mistake so I think they should show some common sense and let me off, my dad was born during the war for gods sake’

 

Usually accompanied by a picture of them sat on the edge of their armchair, walking stick leaning against it, full compo face, holding the letter in one hand and looking through a photo album of dead relatives with the other. Box of tissues on the arm of the chair to show they’ve been crying at the stress of it.

 

Then the article ends with a line from someone at the council who’d been forced to comment saying the ticket was correctly issued because the person overstayed.

 

What a waste of ink and everybody’s time.

Every year without fail some kid goes back to school after the summer and has something that’s against school policy. The school send them home. 
 

Cue photo of kid with parent and compo face on front page of the echo. Why oh why has my child been sent home. 
 

Had a lad years ago in my school that dyed his hair green and was sent home. Of course these where the days when the echo had a lot more text than pictures and would have laughed at such a story. 
 

Luckily the comments are where the comedy gold is, for now.