little things that annoy the shit out of you

[Guest Pistonbroke]

I remember when those pound coins first came out. I was in the UK on the piss and when i awoke the next morning I looked in my wallet and nearly cried at the amount of money I had spunked on alcohol. Got out of bed and where I had hung my jeans over a chair there was literally about 30 quid on the floor where all the coins had fallen out. 

[dickie mint]

I remember when those pound coins first came out. I was in the UK on the piss and when i awoke the next morning I looked in my wallet and nearly cried at the amount of money I had spunked on alcohol. Got out of bed and where I had hung my jeans over a chair there was literally about 30 quid on the floor where all the coins had fallen out.

 

Wasn't bad that mate after taking £40 out,well done.

[Dr Nowt]

Beards and the notion that they're manly as fuck and everyone that grows one is some handsome, hulking bloke-y bloke. In reality most lads I know with a beard are ugly buggers using them to hide their ugly.

 

Then there's the wankers. Wankers have just completely ruined fucking beards full stop. Wankers like Calum Best, the fucking clown. Grows a beard and suddenly he's some classy, manly man who smokes cigars and dresses in the finest suits.. You see lads like this all over the country, usually sporting a snapback, an NBA shirt and loads of shit tattoos. They're not manly, they're #LADS with facial hair. Ladies they're not going to sweep you off your feet and make love to you in a cabin in the woods, they're going to take you to Nandos and then onto a club where you'll both get pissed on alcopops and dance to Pitbull. 

 

Can you grow a beard?

 

This is imperative in ranking your complaint.

[Guest Pistonbroke]

Wasn't bad that mate after taking £40 out,well done.

If only. 

[Spy Bee]

People wearing fucking shorts when it's about 2 degrees. There's absolutely no reason that this should piss me off, but it does!

[Dr Nowt]

People wearing fucking shorts when it's about 2 degrees. There's absolutely no reason that this should piss me off, but it does!

 

Always seems like it's attention-seeking.  Always.

[Bobby Hundreds]

I saw a lad in a wooly hat gloves scarf and he was wearing shorts. Shorts and some kind of moccasin ankle boot. To each their own but I thought he looked like a twat.

[Carvalho Diablo]

A delusional attention seeking scruffy twat.

[General Dryness]

Can you grow a beard?

 

This is imperative in ranking your complaint.

 

I was going to ask this also. Good to see one of the sites other stalwart beard wearers taking time out from having hairy sex in his cabin in the woods to ask the questions that need to be asked.

[Adebisi]

Can you grow a beard?

 

This is imperative in ranking your complaint.

Yes and no. 

 

I say yes because I can actually grow a beard, I say no because it's a ginger beard. A bit of a pickle because my hair is brown and for some bizarre reason if I grow a moustache for a few weeks it eventually darkens also. The beard stayed ginger for nearly 5 months before I gave up and shaved it off. 

 

At my lowest I did consider social isolation for a couple of weeks so I could dye my beard and then lie to all my friends and family that 'It just started getting darker and darker it til it turned all brown!' but I realised the only thing worse than lying to those close to you, is lying to yourself (about your beard growing abilities) 

[jacco maccaco]

The way it says DEMAND on your council tax bill

 

Fuck off with your demands I know It needs paying

 

Cunts.

[Trumo]

I saw a lad in a wooly hat gloves scarf and he was wearing shorts. Shorts and some kind of moccasin ankle boot. To each their own but I thought he looked like a twat.

 

Probably because he IS a twat.

[Trumo]

Notes in the wallet, loose change in a money bag. Sorted.

 

 

Glad to see I'm not the only one who does this.

[Dr Nowt]

I was going to ask this also. Good to see one of the sites other stalwart beard wearers taking time out from having hairy sex in his cabin in the woods to ask the questions that need to be asked.

 

Me earlier, while asking the question, before batting a bear away with a tree I'd chopped down and sexing a few supermodels in sub-zero temperature:

 

 

Grrrrr.

 

Yes and no. 

 

I say yes because I can actually grow a beard, I say no because it's a ginger beard. A bit of a pickle because my hair is brown and for some bizarre reason if I grow a moustache for a few weeks it eventually darkens also. The beard stayed ginger for nearly 5 months before I gave up and shaved it off. 

 

At my lowest I did consider social isolation for a couple of weeks so I could dye my beard and then lie to all my friends and family that 'It just started getting darker and darker it til it turned all brown!' but I realised the only thing worse than lying to those close to you, is lying to yourself (about your beard growing abilities) 

 

On the one hand, there is a certain Basque hero who makes such plumage acceptable provided strict specific criteria are met, i.e. when actually being that person. 

 

On the other, there is no proof as yet that we aren't talking a wanker's straggly Ratboy effort in the first place, and you are still in any case clearly falling into the beard envy bracket, due to your own's circus freakshow ginger nature.

 

Your compaint will not be going into Room 101 and those of us with resplendent beards will now scratch them in your direction gloatingly like ruddy blokes.

[Spy Bee]

Sorry, I'm negging anybody who admits to keeping their loose change in a money bag. Fucking tramps!

[Trumo]

Tramps keep their loose change in their hat.

[Carvalho Diablo]

Sorry, I'm negging anybody who admits to keeping their loose change in a money bag. Fucking tramps!

 

Jealous scruff.

 

The money bag is the must have Christmas present for gentleman who has everything.

[Spy Bee]

Old men that stink of piss, mumble and spend all day in Whetherspoons keep their change in money bags.

[Spy Bee]

Shameless reveger neg their Trumo! I'm losing all respect.

[Carvalho Diablo]

Old men that stink of piss, mumble and spend all day in Whetherspoons keep their change in money bags.

 

Sounds like you're stalking me.

[Dr Nowt]

Old men that stink of piss, mumble and spend all day in Whetherspoons keep their change in money bags.

 

I resent that.  Just because you splash piss all down your raggy-arsed strides, spend 3/4 of the day drunk beyond the ken of man and have a stool with your name painted on it in The Slurping Twat, people think you have no refinement at all.

 

Fucking "money bags", jesus.  Double cooking sherry please Brian.  The correct change is in my shoe behind the bar.

[Trumo]

Shameless reveger neg their Trumo! I'm losing all respect.

 

You had me down as a piss-stinking old mumbler who hangs around in Wetherspoons all day, therefore a revenge negging represents a step up! Get yourself over to the 'Fit Birds Under The Radar' thread and all is forgiven.

[General Dryness]

Your compaint will not be going into Room 101 and those of us with resplendent beards will now scratch them in your direction gloatingly like ruddy blokes.

 

 

Notes in the wallet, loose change in a money bag. Sorted.

 

 

 

I just scratched my beard and a whole load of loose change fell out. Look hard and negate the need for money bags. Grow a beard. Talk about killing two birds with one crowbar, as noted beard wearer Peter Sutcliffe often did.

[Dr Nowt]

Repped for reminding me of a minor achievement I'm proud of.

[General Dryness]

Repped for reminding me of a minor achievement I'm proud of.

 

Come now Liz, being known as one of the most notorious bearded serial killers in British history a minor achievement? Don't sell yourself short.