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little things that annoy the shit out of you

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To add to this when shuffle isn't really shuffle and the same songs from a library of 300+ keep on playing "randomly".

 

I've got about 4,000 songs on mine and it doesn't happen quite like this but I do find it plays a lot of songs from the same artists more frequently than the maths should suggest. 

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I wish - that argument is still ongoing!

 

This is a pair of midlife crisis daps the wife bought me.

Yours or...hmmm...my nose was about to get the better of me and then I remembered ‘daps’.

 

I am not going to dignify any post that contains that word

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She bought me a pair of Ralph Lauren boat shoes.

She was having a midlife crises for me.

Nothing wrong with them, mate. I’ve been wearing them since I was in my teens (not Ralph Lauren ones, like). Great for summer with shorts.

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Stupid house design shit #462.

 

1 - 'Jack & Jill' bathrooms - I've mentioned this before and I didn't know there was an actual name for it back then, but it's where two bedrooms (or one bedroom and another room or the hallway/landing) each have a door leading to a shared bathroom. Complete waste of space, and you have to remember to lock the second door from the inside too. Not always possible when you're desperate. Just have one door to that bathroom accessed from the hallway/landing, and walk the extra couple of feet.

 

2 - People using carpets like this one:

 

victorian-hallway-and-landing.jpg

 

Does funny things to your eyes, and not good when negotiating a flight of stairs, especially when pissed.

 

3 - Built-in microwaves at head height. "I know, that dish is gonna be scalding hot so I'll just put this microwave at a height that can easily lead to calamity. Besides, I really wanna check out that new burns unit down at the hospital." A lot of houses Stateside and in Canada have microwaves directly above the cooker. What the fuck is up with that? What if you want to be a chefy cunt and flambe something?

 

4 - One wall of each room decorated with some garishly shit wallpaper. It was fucking crap when Lawrence Llewellyn Bowen was recommending it, and it's still fucking crap now.

 

5 - Wet rooms. Every house in India I went to had a wet room and they are common-as-fuck over there. They tend to squat on the floor and use and bucket to bathe with. It's not too bad because although the water goes all over the floor, it doesn't tend to cover everything else. Unlike in some houses over here where they've fitted a shower in there, guaranteed that the toilet and sink will get a soaking too. Why?

 

6 - Also mentioned before, but tat that has words like Love, Family, Home, Memories and stuff of that ilk. You know what I mean. Photo frames, wall prints, cushions, candlesticks, coffee tables - you name it, sameheads in their samehead homes will have that shit everywhere. They'll bulk buy at Ikea or go mental at Asda George.

 

7 - Bathroom sinks right up against the window. No, no, no. You put the sink against a wall and hang a mirror on that wall to make shaving a doddle. It's called logic. If you are having to use one of those little round mirrors and always end up looking like your cat attacked you, it's not because your razor is shit or your stubble is a bastard, it's because some fucking cunt in the construction industry knows fuck-all about optimal room configuration.

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People posting their ‘Have a rant thread’ spleen-venting diatribes in the ‘little things that annoy the shit out of you’ thread.

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People posting their ‘Have a rant thread’ spleen-venting diatribes in the ‘little things that annoy the shit out of you’ thread.

 

I bet you have a Jack & Jill bathroom with Love printed on the walls. In your own jizz.

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Stupid house design shit #462.

 

1 - 'Jack & Jill' bathrooms - I've mentioned this before and I didn't know there was an actual name for it back then, but it's where two bedrooms (or one bedroom and another room or the hallway/landing) each have a door leading to a shared bathroom. Complete waste of space, and you have to remember to lock the second door from the inside too. Not always possible when you're desperate. Just have one door to that bathroom accessed from the hallway/landing, and walk the extra couple of feet.

 

2 - People using carpets like this one:

 

victorian-hallway-and-landing.jpg

 

Does funny things to your eyes, and not good when negotiating a flight of stairs, especially when pissed.

 

3 - Built-in microwaves at head height. "I know, that dish is gonna be scalding hot so I'll just put this microwave at a height that can easily lead to calamity. Besides, I really wanna check out that new burns unit down at the hospital." A lot of houses Stateside and in Canada have microwaves directly above the cooker. What the fuck is up with that? What if you want to be a chefy cunt and flambe something?

 

4 - One wall of each room decorated with some garishly shit wallpaper. It was fucking crap when Lawrence Llewellyn Bowen was recommending it, and it's still fucking crap now.

 

5 - Wet rooms. Every house in India I went to had a wet room and they are common-as-fuck over there. They tend to squat on the floor and use and bucket to bathe with. It's not too bad because although the water goes all over the floor, it doesn't tend to cover everything else. Unlike in some houses over here where they've fitted a shower in there, guaranteed that the toilet and sink will get a soaking too. Why?

 

6 - Also mentioned before, but tat that has words like Love, Family, Home, Memories and stuff of that ilk. You know what I mean. Photo frames, wall prints, cushions, candlesticks, coffee tables - you name it, sameheads in their samehead homes will have that shit everywhere. They'll bulk buy at Ikea or go mental at Asda George.

 

7 - Bathroom sinks right up against the window. No, no, no. You put the sink against a wall and hang a mirror on that wall to make shaving a doddle. It's called logic. If you are having to use one of those little round mirrors and always end up looking like your cat attacked you, it's not because your razor is shit or your stubble is a bastard, it's because some fucking cunt in the construction industry knows fuck-all about optimal room configuration.

Add the mirror facing the shitter to that list. I know there is probably some architectural reasoning behind it, but seriously, hotels, rentals - fuck it off. I don’t enjoy seein myself curl one out.

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I bet you have a Jack & Jill bathroom with Love printed on the walls. In your own jizz.

I have a framed print saying “Live. Laugh. Love” hung over my bed, and yer ma’s skuds dangling off the end of it.

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I’ve fucked up my phone.

I now have about 3 screens to swipe before I can use the fucking thing. Plus some messenger app with a countdown pops up trying to get me to download it. I suspect the only way to stop this is to download it but no fucking way am I doing it.

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I have a framed print saying “Live. Laugh. Love” hung over my bed, and yer ma’s skuds dangling off the end of it.

Mrs Turdseye stuck a massive wall sticker up in our bedroom with the same phrase. It didn’t last long. Even she could see how shite it was.

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Mrs Turdseye stuck a massive wall sticker up in our bedroom with the same phrase. It didn’t last long. Even she could see how shite it was.

 

Presumably fed up of you pointing to the 'Love' section whenever you wanted your wicked way.

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