little things that annoy the shit out of you

[Rico1304]

People, generally elderly, or fat, who take risks thinking ‘I’ll be ok, I’ll run the last bit’.

 

Usually occurs when they are crossing a road or trying to catch a lift door.

 

They’ve plainly not run for 30 yrs (or ever) so why risk their stupid lives gambling on being able to get above a slow walking pace.

[Oh Buoy]

When parent's take their kids out for a meal and allow them to run around screaming. 

 

 

In every case, guests should be allowed to pick up their kids and put them in the bin.

[Guest]

[Oh Buoy]

Twat cups.  What the fuck is with those people who bring a mini-flask cup onto the train?  What, you are so fucking desperate for caffeine you bring your own little flask onto the train?  Are you shitting me?  These fucking dickwolves are probably the kind who look down at people who smoke at the station but they are such a meff they need a warm caffeinated beverage to survive an 11 minute train ride.  Christ almighty.

 

I'd appreciate it if you'd stop glaring and writing about me on your twat phone. 

 

Sent from my Twat Phone X1 using Tapatalk

[Dr Nowt]

He’s on it with the type of tedious helmet who has to perma-conspicuously broadcast their coffee habit like they’re that “I got these cheeseburgers, man” crack fiend in Menace 2 Society.

 

“I can’t function in the morning without 3 JCB shovels-full, mate.”

 

“That all, mate? I get the Jolly Green Giant to pull on his goalkeeping gloves and then scoop 5 heaped handfuls onto the table and just snort mine straight.”

 

“Not the type normal people buy, mind. I get artisan coffee shipped straight from Bolivia by the pallet. Have to stir mine with an industrial drill mate, because spoons can’t penetrate the surface.”

 

Just drink it and shut the fuck up about it, you tiresome queef. You aren’t Craig Charles honking on his homemade coke-can crack pipe because you can use a little caffeine pick-me-up.

[Oh Buoy]

He’s on it with the type of tedious helmet who has to perma-conspicuously broadcast their coffee habit like they’re that “I got these cheeseburgers, man” crack fiend in Menace 2 Society.

 

“I can’t function in the morning without 3 JCB shovels-full, mate.”

 

“That all, mate? I get the Jolly Green Giant to pull on his goalkeeping gloves and then scoop 5 heaped handfuls onto the table and just snort mine straight.”

 

“Not the type normal people buy, mind. I get artisan coffee shipped straight from Bolivia by the pallet. Have to stir mine with an industrial drill mate, because spoons can’t penetrate the surface.”

 

Just drink it and shut the fuck up about it, you tiresome queef. You aren’t Craig Charles honking on his homemade coke-can crack pipe because you can use a little caffeine pick-me-up.

 

What's the website to order the artisan coffee shipped from Bolivia, mate? 

[Tony Moanero]

This warm weather. Hope it rains soon.

[Rick Sanchez C-137]

This warm weather. Hope it rains soon.

Hope you eat salt a vinegar crisps and it gets in a paper cut

[Rico1304]

Hope you eat salt a vinegar crisps and it gets in a paper cut

You sick cunt. No need for that.

[Fugitive]

What's the website to order the artisan coffee shipped from Bolivia, mate?

Ask Anny Road. I bet it was his personal butcher friend who gets it for him or maybe the fella who gives him eggs.

[Anny Road]

[Bjornebye]

Yep coffee cunts fucking annoy me massively. Clutching onto it like its fucking gold. I don't mind the odd cup of coffee but if I have more than 1 cup in a day I end up looking like Dr Nowts avatar 

[Dave D]

In yesterdays heat I drove past a COSTA coffee house, plenty of people stuffed inside sipping away.

 

I treated them to one of my bemused puzzled looks

[Mook]

My boss has just asked me to stop slamming the office door (the hinges are fucked, hardly my fault) & apparently it's annoying her & the other bird I work with.

 

The whingeing fat cow is going to wish she hadn't bothered with that one.

[Dave D]

My boss has just asked me to stop slamming the office door (the hinges are fucked, hardly my fault) & apparently it's annoying her & the other bird I work with.

 

The whingeing fat cow is going to wish she hadn't bothered with that one.

 

Dear dear.... do you work at Scrooge and Marley?!

[Bjornebye]

My boss has just asked me to stop slamming the office door (the hinges are fucked, hardly my fault) & apparently it's annoying her & the other bird I work with.

 

The whingeing fat cow is going to wish she hadn't bothered with that one.

Get it banged.

 

 

 

 

 

Her not the door.

[Elite]

Get it banged.

 

 

 

 

 

Her not the door.

I think Mook wanks over his boss every night on the sly.

[Mook]

Dear dear.... do you work at Scrooge and Marley?!

 

We rent an office from Regus, the door is fucked, the lifts are always knackered, the toilets are horrific, the kitchen looks like Nagasaki circa 1946 & the receptionists are all fat. It's not pleasant. Having said that, some of us (the blokes) seem to get by without complaining about everything 200 times a fucking week.

[Rick Sanchez C-137]

We rent an office from Regus, the door is fucked, the lifts are always knackered, the toilets are horrific, the kitchen looks like Nagasaki circa 1946 & the receptionists are all fat. It's not pleasant. Having said that, some of us (the blokes) seem to get by without complaining about everything 200 times a fucking week.

That's because you've all got the gf to vent. The wimminz don't have the same support networks, you see.

[Mook]

That's because you've all got the gf to vent. The wimminz don't have the same support networks, you see.

 

I wasn't listening very closely but there also appears to be a nasty fanny pad related issue in the ladies toilets, which I don't have to deal with either.

 

My heart bleeds for them, a bit like their fannies apparently.

[Dave D]

Invite them to post on here Mook.

 

They could have their own "Things Mook does to annoy us" thread.

 

Although, outrageously, I bet they dont know you as Mook............ 

[Bjornebye]

No doubt somewhere on mumsnet something like this is being discussed as we speak:

 

"Scruffy pervert is winding me up again today. He keeps slamming the door shut and his feet fucking reek"

 

"OMG Hon that is soo bad"

 

"Cant you sack him?"

 

"Get him ridden"

[Rick Sanchez C-137]

He'll be known as "Billy Brown Nose" due to his following his boss about so closely like a love sick puppy.

[Bjornebye]

Mook knocks on her door every night like that creep in Love Actually with notes on placards for her. 

 

"LET ME INTO YOUR HEART"

 

"I DREAM OF YOU EVERY DAY" 

 

"LET ME EAT YOUR SHIT"

[Mook]

Fuds.