little things that annoy the shit out of you

[Curly]

What the fuck is a gaming chair?

[Captain Turdseye]

What the fuck is a gaming chair?

It’s basically a chair with surround sounds speakers in and a ridiculous amount of bass, that you hook up to your console.

 

When he’s playing COD, it doesn’t matter where I am in the house, I feel like I know what it’s like to live in Aleppo.

[lifetime fan]

It’s basically a chair with surround sounds speakers in and a ridiculous amount of bass, that you hook up to your console.

 

When he’s playing COD, it doesn’t matter where I am in the house, I feel like I know what it’s like to live in Aleppo.

 

Be honest, you sit in it when watching porn too don’t you.

[Captain Turdseye]

Be honest, you sit in it when watching porn too don’t you.

Believe it or not, I tend to refrain from masturbating in the kids bedrooms.

[lifetime fan]

Believe it or not, I tend to refrain from masturbating in the kids bedrooms.

 

Not.

[Curly]

Believe it or not, I tend to refrain from masturbating in the kids bedrooms.

Hahahaha!

[Dr Nowt]

What a prude.

[cloggypop]

Own chair now though.

[Captain Turdseye]

Own chair now though.

You’ve got a point there. They’re all away Saturday after next as well. I’ll have to knock next door and apologise in advance for the ball slapping bass.

[Dave D]

People who are always going on about their Sunday league games, who scored and where they are in the league.

 

It's a kick about. It doesn't matter

 

I will never tire of telling everyone about my goal in the quarter finals against Redhill. (aged 25)

 

Or the one in the Cup Final against Burley. (aged 23)

 

Or my 5 goal salvo at home to Corfe Mullen (aged 15)

 

I dont let the fact Im 40 dampen the actual re-enactaments

[Tony Moanero]

I never tire of telling people about the time I, whilst wearing full L.F.C. kit and shin pads, beat my keepy-uppy record, by doing three in succession. (Aged 35)

[rubble-rouser]

I feel like I know what it’s like to live in Aleppo.

 

 

 It’s in Runcorn as well

[Dave D]

I never tire of telling people about the time I, whilst wearing full L.F.C. kit and shin pads, beat my keepy-uppy record, by doing three in succession. (Aged 35)

 

I bet it was the away kit

[Dave D]

With the home socks

[Dr Nowt]

I will never tire of telling everyone about my goal in the quarter finals against Redhill. (aged 25)

 

Or the one in the Cup Final against Burley. (aged 23)

 

Or my 5 goal salvo at home to Corfe Mullen (aged 15)

 

I dont let the fact Im 40 dampen the actual re-enactaments

 

You're from my area and are my age.

 

If it wasn't for the fact I'm the first footballer who ever needed to be stretchered onto the pitch, we could practically be brothers.

[sir roger]

I can still describe in excruciating detail my last minute diving header that won the Junior Cup in 1974.

Only starting with 10 men as the local school's trip had taken away 4 of our players, playing the league champions who had beaten us 8-1 the previous Sunday.

Occasionally tempted to pitch it to a film producer as a ' Cool Runnings ' style story of redemption & hope. What's that Weinstein guy up to these days ?

[Dave D]

You're from my area and are my age.

 

If it wasn't for the fact I'm the first footballer who ever needed to be stretchered onto the pitch, we could practically be brothers.

 

Curious......

 

If you were the Corfe Mullen keeper I apologise. I think the 5th strike was a quite nonchalant finish..... 

[Dr Nowt]

Curious......

 

If you were the Corfe Mullen keeper I apologise. I think the 5th strike was a quite nonchalant finish.....

It was offside, wasn’t it?

 

Ha, we definitely wouldn’t know each other through footie mate.

 

Far too lazy and shite to play outside of a kick-around with mates.

[Rico1304]

You’ve got a point there. They’re all away Saturday after next as well. I’ll have to knock next door and apologise in advance for the ball slapping bass.

How can you tell which is your chair and which is your dad’s?

 

Well dad’s looks like he’s a plasterer.

[Dave D]

It was offside, wasn’t it?

 

Ha, we definitely wouldn’t know each other through footie mate.

 

Far too lazy and shite to play outside of a kick-around with mates.

 

You'd have fitted right in with our team!

[Furmedge]

Wannabe hard knocks.

 

Watching telly half an hour ago and heard thudding outside expecting to see snowballs being lashed about. Was upstairs so went into the front bedroom to see what was happening to see three scallies with their black North Face hoods up throwing snowballs at the old couples house next door. One of them was hiding his face and was stood in my garden about a yard from next doors window and lashed this heavily compacted snowball at their window pissing himself laughing. Knowing next door wouldn't dare confront them and were probably a bit shit scared I opened my window and asked them what they thought they were doing to be met with shouts of 'Y'wha?' and 'nuthin'. I ask them to move on and start getting the big I am off them so walked downstairs and opened the front door and told them to fuck off. They sloped off and then start shouting at me from a safe distance. Can't be arsed with them, fucking durge of our society.

 

Gonna be sat here now with my blinds open until midnight expecting them to have their next plan of attack firmly set on my house.

[scudger99]

Wannabe hard knocks.

 

Watching telly half an hour ago and heard thudding outside expecting to see snowballs being lashed about. Was upstairs so went into the front bedroom to see what was happening to see three scallies with their black North Face hoods up throwing snowballs at the old couples house next door. One of them was hiding his face and was stood in my garden about a yard from next doors window and lashed this heavily compacted snowball at their window pissing himself laughing. Knowing next door wouldn't dare confront them and were probably a bit shit scared I opened my window and asked them what they thought they were doing to be met with shouts of 'Y'wha?' and 'nuthin'. I ask them to move on and start getting the big I am off them so walked downstairs and opened the front door and told them to fuck off. They sloped off and then start shouting at me from a safe distance. Can't be arsed with them, fucking durge of our society.

 

Gonna be sat here now with my blinds open until midnight expecting them to have their next plan of attack firmly set on my house.

Reference Frank Begbie and "the law ay the basebaw bat".

[Harry Squatter]

World book day. Where kids get to dress up as their favourite film characters.

[Razoray]

Wannabe hard knocks.

 

Watching telly half an hour ago and heard thudding outside expecting to see snowballs being lashed about. Was upstairs so went into the front bedroom to see what was happening to see three scallies with their black North Face hoods up throwing snowballs at the old couples house next door. One of them was hiding his face and was stood in my garden about a yard from next doors window and lashed this heavily compacted snowball at their window pissing himself laughing. Knowing next door wouldn't dare confront them and were probably a bit shit scared I opened my window and asked them what they thought they were doing to be met with shouts of 'Y'wha?' and 'nuthin'. I ask them to move on and start getting the big I am off them so walked downstairs and opened the front door and told them to fuck off. They sloped off and then start shouting at me from a safe distance. Can't be arsed with them, fucking durge of our society.

 

Gonna be sat here now with my blinds open until midnight expecting them to have their next plan of attack firmly set on my house.

Will they fuck. They are all texting and facebooking their friends to say that Apollo Creed just threatened to box the head off of them if they came near his house again

[Furmedge]

Will they fuck. They are all texting and facebooking their friends to say that Apollo Creed just threatened to box the head off of them if they came near his house again

Ain't gonna be no rematch...ain't gonna be no rematch.