little things that annoy the shit out of you

[Furmedge]

The unbalanced view of family life in advertisements. No, me and my family don't sit down for breakfast every morning with big grins on our faces while we all eat a different breakfast and I read the daily news while the sun shines brightly through the sparkling windows. In fact my wife leaves for her 10 hour shifts in the hospital at 6am and I have to shout at the kids just to get them ready for school on time, before they spill bowls of cereal on the floor and the dog wants to go and play in the garden that's boggy due to the pissing down rain and runs back in to shake all the rain water over the kitchen.

 

No, my bathroom isn't huge for all my new bathroom furniture. In fact my whole house is smaller than the bathrooms they advertise where you see people sat grinning in a bath that has the equivalent space of a tennis court to walk through to get there. In reality I seldom smile in my bathroom unless it's to marvel at a quaint fart that tickles my sphincter.

 

Fuck off with your perfect world scenarios.

[Rico1304]

The unbalanced view of family life in advertisements. No, me and my family don't sit down for breakfast every morning with big grins on our faces while we all eat a different breakfast and I read the daily news while the sun shines brightly through the sparkling windows. In fact my wife leaves for her 10 hour shifts in the hospital at 6am and I have to shout at the kids just to get them ready for school on time, before they spill bowls of cereal on the floor and the dog wants to go and play in the garden that's boggy due to the pissing down rain and runs back in to shake all the rain water over the kitchen.

 

No, my bathroom isn't huge for all my new bathroom furniture. In fact my whole house is smaller than the bathrooms they advertise where you see people sat grinning in a bath that has the equivalent space of a tennis court to walk through to get there. In reality I seldom smile in my bathroom unless it's to marvel at a quaint fart that tickles my sphincter.

 

Fuck off with your perfect world scenarios.

Correct. There's an Ovo advert at the moment for prepayment meters and the bloke is dancing around a fucking mansion.

[Guest Pistonbroke]

They all seem to have a fucking dining table that seats about 20 people an all. 

[Dougie Do'ins]

Correct. There's an Ovo advert at the moment for prepayment meters and the bloke is dancing around a fucking mansion.

I think that Ovo advert is aimed at prince harry.

[Remmie]

It really winds me up when people repeatedly watch, summarise and moan about adverts. Let live pause or mute be your friend

[Rico1304]

On the iPhone 6 when you unlock it with your fingerprint it tells you it's unlocked, but then says press home to get any further. Why? Just show me the fucking menu.

[Kevin D]

Statistics being given on small sample sizes.

 

"The first time since August..."

 

"The first election since 2004 that..."

 

" Only the second Liechtensteinian to climb Everest "

 

These are not long enough timelines, or common enough occurrences, to draw conclusions from yet inane pundits always do this to fill up airtime, or column inches.

[Rico1304]

Statistics being given on small sample sizes.

 

"The first time since August..."

 

"The first election since 2004 that..."

 

" Only the second Liechtensteinian to climb Everest "

 

These are not long enough timelines, or common enough occurrences, to draw conclusions from yet inane pundits always do this to fill up airtime, or column inches.

Make up adverts do this.

 

Clara Delavigne dances in her pants then "84% of women thought this make up made them fit"

(74 women polled)

[General Dryness]

Statistics being given on small sample sizes.

 

"The first time since August..."

 

"The first election since 2004 that..."

 

" Only the second Liechtensteinian to climb Everest "

 

These are not long enough timelines, or common enough occurrences, to draw conclusions from yet inane pundits always do this to fill up airtime, or column inches.

 

This is Kevin D's least shit post this week.

[Rick Sanchez C-137]

When other people assume your "working from home" means you basically have the day off.

 

Cunt: "Oh you're working from home Thursday, you can give us a hand then?"

 

Me: "No, I'm not going to leave my desk for an hour to come help you. I'm working."

 

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Cunt: "Oh is Wednesday your day off this week?"

 

Me: "No I'm working from home Wednesday"

 

Cunt: "Yea that's what I mean"

 

Me: "Well why did you ask something completely different?"

 

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

And a bit of a wider gripe. People who don't work, not understanding the concept of work, responsibility or wanting to do at least an OK job.

I'm not by any means a high flyer, or a workaholic. I have a great work life balance. But people who haven't worked in years (usually but not exclusively housewives/husbands) getting on like I'm the strange one for not just jibbing my job off to do whatever crazy thing I feel like doing that day. Sure, I could just stop working on home working days and wank and drink myself silly. Great. Unfortunately my bosses aren't deaf, dumb and blind and will notice when I haven't got any work done, and I will either be fired or lose my home working privileges. It's not rocket science.

[Jenson]

On the iPhone 6 when you unlock it with your fingerprint it tells you it's unlocked, but then says press home to get any further. Why? Just show me the fucking menu.

 

Settings > General > Accessibility > Home Button > Rest Finger to Open

[Dr Nowt]

People who don't pull out at a junction until their fourth or fifth opportunity.

[VladimirIlyich]

People who don't pull out at a junction until their fourth or fifth opportunity.

A euphemism if I've ever heard it.

Ask him to use loads of lube next time.

[Dr Nowt]

Having to turn the car radio off because every channel is either adverts or some massive cringe-making stroker talking utter drivel.

[Faustus]

That Andy Bush on Absolute Radio is the absolute worst for talking utter crap. He once had a Patridge-esque shout out for texts and tweets to gauge people's favourite service station. I'm about 99% certain he wasn't be ironic either.

 

The place I used to work at used to have that station on, which didn't arse me. I prefer 6 Music, but it's a democratic decision and I was happy enough as you tend to get a couple of good tunes on there. It can get a bit samey, but it's pretty much expected of commercial radio.

 

I remember once listening though when that Bush fella was on and I can't recall the song itself that he played, but the opening sounded like a bad rip off Thin Lizzy's 'The Boys Are Back In Town'. He comments on this after it's finished, but then starts going "Bloody hell, if I was Phil Lynott, I would not happy with that. Get your lawyers on the case, Phil." I'm listening to this, thinking 'He's been fucking dead for about 20 years, soft shite', only he keeps going on "Speaking of which, you don't hear much of Phil these days, do you? I wonder why he hasn't released any new material in a while. If you're listening to this, Phil, mate, it's time to pull your finger out and get back in the studio."

 

He comes back on after the ads all sheepish "Errrmmm... I'd just like to apologise for what I said before the ad break- it turns out that Phil Lynott passed away a number of years ago, which I was not aware of."

 

You just know the producer gave him an almighty bollocking in his ear during those ads. "HE'S FUCKING DEAD, DICKHEAD!"

[Mook]

Ha ha, that's brilliant, there's a fucking statue of Phil Lynott in Dublin if I remember correctly. He's so dead he has his own statue.

 

Just as an aside, isn't about time Bach got his arse in gear & got a new single out?

[Paulie Dangerously]

Job adverts with no wage.  It's the number 1 thing I will be looking for.  Put it in the ad so we don't waste both of our time. 

[Elite]

Job adverts with no wage. It's the number 1 thing I will be looking for. Put it in the ad so we don't waste both of our time.

Yeah it's stupid. Competitive rates of pay is another, competitive with who? Co-op or NASA?

[Dougie Do'ins]

HIKVision

 

Can I suggest that you change the description of your 'technical advice line' to 'some obnoxious cunt who cant be fucking bothered line'.

[PestiRed]

I was going to download the new Stones album after it seemed to get decent reviews and have a listen while cooking this afternoon. Only to find that it's not released until December. Why release reviews for something I can't buy? Dickheads

[Guest Pistonbroke]

Damn, fancied some poached eggs on toast for my lunch but the toaster just died. I'm going to have to mingle with the cunts at the electrical goods shop now and buy a new one. 

[Lee909]

Use the grill and order one online. Fuck dealing with people

[Guest Pistonbroke]

Use the grill and order one online. Fuck dealing with people

 

I just went to the local supermarket, gave out 65€ and still no toaster as they only had shite, on-line it is. Plus when I went through the checkout that control panel thing started beeping. Some security guard came along and it turned out that I hadn't taken the magnet strip thingy out of this new winter jacket I had bought the other week. At least it gave all the nosy cunts something to look at and whisper about. 

[Bobby Hundreds]

My dishwasher won't start. Only bastard time I've ever bothered to use it too.

[Champ]

My dishwasher won't start. Only bastard time I've ever bothered to use it too.

Switch it on at the mains?