little things that annoy the shit out of you

[Dr Nowt]

Calm down, Mick.

 

Regards,

 

Anubis x

He won't be able to kiss you Anubis, that's bubonic lip he's got; highly contagious. Needs total bedrest, some tantric chanting and a wipe down with dock leaves five times an hour.

[manwiththestick]

People who use the term "date night" usually married hags who don't get out much who then spend their night taking photos of their tea in Wetherspoons and continuous updates and selfies from every pub you go in.

 

It's not a fucking date you spaz, you are going out with your spouse like you are supposed to do every now and then. And if you can't leave you phone alone for five fucking minutes I'd not be surprised if your husband is not using these moments as opportunity to perv at whatever else is knocking about.

 

Fucking "you okay huns" do my head in.

[Rick Sanchez C-137]

People who use the term "date night" usually married hags who don't get out much who then spend their night taking photos of their tea in Wetherspoons and continuous updates and selfies from every pub you go in.

 

It's not a fucking date you spaz, you are going out with your spouse like you are supposed to do every now and then. And if you can't leave you phone alone for five fucking minutes I'd not be surprised if your husband is not using these moments as opportunity to perv at whatever else is knocking about.

 

Fucking "you okay huns" do my head in.

 

Matched with a smoking hot girl on tinder

 

Had a creep on her facebook

 

Saw a sea of attention seeking "soooo angry rite nw, yhu kno hu yu r" shite on her fb (followed by the "yhu OK hun?!?!?!? xoxoxoxo")

 

Unmatched from smoking hot girl on tinder

 

*forever alone*

[cloggypop]

Referring to Glastonbury as "Glasto", similarly university as "uni". Both sound shit and make me cringe.

You call Glastonbury “Glasto”

You’d like to go there one day

When they’ve put up the gun towers

To keep the hippies away

[Hooch]

This hoo-har over Heathrow and Gatwick runways that has the news outlets falling over themselves to report on it.

 

I couldn't give a fuck you London-centric whoppers.

[Liverpool lad]

Seems that there is a week to commemorate going to Glastonbury as though you will never quite adjust to real life after experiencing Glastonbury

 

Whoppers

[General Dryness]

Matched with a smoking hot girl on tinder

 

Had a creep on her facebook

 

Saw a sea of attention seeking "soooo angry rite nw, yhu kno hu yu r" shite on her fb (followed by the "yhu OK hun?!?!?!? xoxoxoxo")

 

Unmatched from smoking hot girl on tinder

 

*forever alone*

Why would that stop you from knobbing her?

 

Unless I'm mistaken, Tinder isn't really used by people seeking long term prospects.

[Rick Sanchez C-137]

Why would that stop you from knobbing her?

 

Unless I'm mistaken, Tinder isn't really used by people seeking long term prospects.

 

I couldn't bare speaking to such a cretin for longer than 2 minutes. I don't have that kind of patience.

[Hooch]

Scrambled egg that sticks to the inside of bowls after microwaved.

[Jairzinho]

Why would that stop you from knobbing her?

 

Unless I'm mistaken, Tinder isn't really used by people seeking long term prospects.

 

Indeed. Surely the fact you've found this girl on Tinder, who looks "smoking hot", probably thanks to getting Heat Magazine to do her profile picture, would suggest she's unlikely to be the sort of balanced, low maintenance, person you appear to be looking for.

 

Do a part time course (not you GD), or go to the library, or do some volunteering, whatever really. You'll meet women that haven't heard of Tinder.

 

Or bang slags off Tinder.

[Trumo]

Well, that's where you messed up, son, you can't go to no bar to find a nice woman. You gotta go to a nice place, a quiet place like a library, there's good women there and 'erm, church, they're good girls.

 

[moof]

It might just be me but I wouldn't go to a library to pick up women. For a start they don't really let you drink booze in there, or its at least frowned upon. I also like to see how they move on the dance floor before committing to wasting time on them.

[Mook]

Indeed. Surely the fact you've found this girl on Tinder, who looks "smoking hot", probably thanks to getting Heat Magazine to do her profile picture, would suggest she's unlikely to be the sort of balanced, low maintenance, person you appear to be looking for.

 

Do a part time course (not you GD), or go to the library, or do some volunteering, whatever really. You'll meet women that haven't heard of Tinder.

 

Or bang slags off Tinder.

 

That's great advice but it's a lot easier to look at hot birds on Tinder & then moan about them on here than it is to take up embroidery & meet the woman of your dreams.

 

By the way, I don't have a fucking clue what Tinder is.

[Jairzinho]

That's great advice but it's a lot easier to look at hot birds on Tinder & then moan about them on here than it is to take up embroidery & meet the woman of your dreams.

 

By the way, I don't have a fucking clue what Tinder is.

 

You should see some of the slags at Embroidery class.

[cloggypop]

Dropped stitches everywhere.

[alles ist gut]

By the way, I don't have a fucking clue what Tinder is.

 

It's the English version of an original Scottish app called Grindr.

[Mook]

It's the English version of an original Scottish app called Grindr.

 

We just hit women over the head with a bottle of Irn Bru & drag them home, none of your dating apps up here.

 

In all seriousness, I went through a bit of a dry spell (think the Sahara) before signing up to a dating site a few years ago, a week later & before I'd even put my photo up, I met my wife in my local, Thank fuck for that. Couldn't be done with all that shite.

[Bjornebye]

Ha , the type of gimp ROTOQ  is on about probably goes on Tinder (which is a shag app) , meets a fella, gets plated by him then he swerves her calls and she sees him again on Tinder then starts facebook statuses like:

 

"so sick of men, all the same, , disgusting little rats"

- aww babe whats happened?

- is right love they are all nobheads, apart from my Dave xx

- why hun whats happened?

- "I'll inbox you now babes"

- still on for the hen weekend to shagaluf hun?

- "yeah babes cant wait , johnnies, suspenders and boob tubes packed! Omg ive got the worlds tiniest bikini, easy access lol"

 

The irony is lost on them and we are the enemy.

[Dr Nowt]

We just hit women over the head with a bottle of Irn Bru & drag them home, none of your dating apps up here.

 

In all seriousness, I went through a bit of a dry spell (think the Sahara) before signing up to a dating site a few years ago, a week later & before I'd even put my photo up, I met my wife in my local, Thank fuck for that. Couldn't be done with all that shite.

 

From here that sounds like the sort of standard tale you tell to any new lady in your life, Mook.

 

I bet for the 3 months before that your flat was full of librarians throwing their knickers at you.

[Bjornebye]

Why is every cunt calling Wednesday "hump day" ? Fuck off.

[Mook]

From here that sounds like the sort of standard tale you tell to any new lady in your life, Mook.

 

I bet for the 3 months before that your flat was full of librarians throwing their knickers at you.

 

I still get the pish ripped out of me in my local for that barren spell (it was 14 fucking months), if I'd been on here when that was going on the 'Have a rant' thread would've had about a billion pages.

 

Looking back I remember it quite fondly though, in the pub most nights, no-one to nag me & a pair of balls I needed a haulage truck for.

[Bjornebye]

14 months?

[Rico1304]

We just hit women over the head with a bottle of Irn Bru & drag them home, none of your dating apps up here.

 

In all seriousness, I went through a bit of a dry spell (think the Sahara) before signing up to a dating site a few years ago, a week later & before I'd even put my photo up, I met my wife in my local, Thank fuck for that. Couldn't be done with all that shite.

Sounds like my marriage that, what did you do leave the toilet seat up?

[Mook]

Sounds like my marriage that, what did you do leave the toilet seat up?

 

I always leave the seat up, that's another little thing that annoys me, is it so difficult for women to put a toilet seat down?

 

Yes, Stig, 14 months. Those soldiers who went to 'Nam haven't fucking lived.

[Stu Monty]

Seeing it suggested that the Leeeeroy Jenkins clip from years ago was a set-up.

 

I'll never be able to enjoy it the same way again.