little things that annoy the shit out of you

[Bob]

I have said this before but lads who are not much to look at who think they have a right to give a list of reasons why they wouldn't fuck a girl who they have zero chance with.

 

She has put a bit of weight on, don't like her tits, etc. These people need to listen to themselves because I sure the girl in question has fuck all intention of getting with them.

Piss off, it makes us feel better

[Bjornebye]

Piss off, it makes us feel better

You having a breakdown mate?

[Bob]

You having a breakdown mate?

Only ever 20 seconds away from one, like rats in London or some shit

[A_S]

The flip side to that is those twats who try to park in a space that clearly isn't big enough for their car. They'll hold everybody up as they make several failed attempts before finally aborting the whole futile exercise.

Those who like to reverse park and take forever do my head in. Obviously it takes a little longer to reverse in or out of a space, so other people looking for a space will be happier to wait as you reverse out, vacating the parking space, as opposed to holding them up and preventing them from getting to other potential spots further along.

[Mook]

My work's reaction to the heatwave:-

 

'You can take your ties off.'

 

Oh aye, I'll be fucking freezing when I take my tie off right enough, have you mistaken a tie with a jumper you set of arse dumplings?

[Jairzinho]

My work's reaction to the heatwave:-

 

'You can take your ties off.'

 

Oh aye, I'll be fucking freezing when I take my tie off right enough, have you mistaken a tie with a jumper you set of arse dumplings?

 

Anarcho-syndicalism alive and well.

[PestiRed]

My work's reaction to the heatwave:-

 

'You can take your ties off.'

 

Oh aye, I'll be fucking freezing when I take my tie off right enough, have you mistaken a tie with a jumper you set of arse dumplings?

Surprised to hear you have a heatwave. Just checked the temperature and its forecast mid-20's for most of the UK, bit higher in the south.

 

Bunch of hysterical fannies. It's 27 here and people are wondering when summer's going to arrive

[Mook]

Surprised to hear you have a heatwave. Just checked the temperature and its forecast mid-20's for most of the UK, bit higher in the south.

 

Bunch of hysterical fannies. It's 27 here and people are wondering when summer's going to arrive

 

I'm in Edinburgh, mate, anything appraching 20 degrees & you're talking a serious heatwave.

 

If it gets any hotter, I'm convinced that the castle will melt.

 

Mind you, at least I'll have my tie off so I'll be fucking laughing.

[PestiRed]

I can only recommend that you man up, put your tie back on and find a civilised country to live in ASAP

[Rick Sanchez C-137]

My work's reaction to the heatwave:-

 

'You can take your ties off.'

 

Oh aye, I'll be fucking freezing when I take my tie off right enough, have you mistaken a tie with a jumper you set of arse dumplings?

 

Strip down to the pigs. Leave just the tie on. That'll learn 'em.

[Mook]

I can only recommend that you man up, put your tie back on and find a civilised country to live in ASAP

 

I've kept my tie on, having a tie on makes fuck all difference to how hot you are, hence my original point.

 

*plus it's great for catching all my slavers*

[RedKnight]

The weather's warm, yeah? Gonna be hot for two days and then cool down by about 10 degrees. That's not a heat wave, a minimum of a week of weather like today might be constituted as a heat wave but two days is not.

[Mook]

The weather's warm, yeah? Gonna be hot for two days and then cool down by about 10 degrees. That's not a heat wave, a minimum of a week of weather like today might be constituted as a heat wave but two days is not.

 

Just looked up the definition of a heatwave & it's actually five days:-

 

 "when the daily maximum temperature of more than five consecutive days exceeds the average maximum temperature by 5 °C, the normal period being 1961-1990".

 

We might get to take a sock off next week then if it keeps up.

[Rico1304]

A women in the petrol station just now taking great pleasure in telling everyone it's going to rain tomorrow. Wish I could have set her on fire.

[PestiRed]

A women in the petrol station just now taking great pleasure in telling everyone it's going to rain tomorrow. Wish I could have set her on fire.

Buy a huge magnifying glass, train it on her and when she starts to smoulder, shout "ha, I bet you wish it was raining now"

[Harry Squatter]

The girl who lives next door to me went to Glastonbury last year, came back with two Henna tattoos, a Glastonbury flag and a few car stickers.

 

She collared me the next day saying she was so tired from Glasto whilst wearing a baggy t shirt and a straw hat. Pity she's got absolutely no tits. She looked at me in horror when I said it wasn't my scene and camping is shite. Tried to make out i'd missed out in life by not going.

[Harry Squatter]

Said this before but people who are constantly in a bad mood due to something that has fuck all to do with you but you will experience the fall out as they are determined to inflict their miserable existence on to others

 

Pricks

Used to have some woman in work like that, thought it was her God given right to bark at people and lose her rag with them over fuck all. It was quite funny leaving her blag messages and telling her to ring people. As she was running round at 100 miles an hour it was Hilarious to watch her almost spontaneously combust because she couldn't process more than one task at a time.

[Total Longo]

The weather's warm, yeah? Gonna be hot for two days and then cool down by about 10 degrees. That's not a heat wave, a minimum of a week of weather like today might be constituted as a heat wave but two days is not.

 

"Mini heatwave"

 

*shudders*

[Total Longo]

Pointless portmanteau buzzwords.

 

Specifically, I'm thinking of "Grexit".  Nobody knows what it means, unless it's used in the context of a discussion of Greece's potential exit from the Euro; in which case "Greece's exit" would be perfectly well understood.

 

"Grexit" sounds like something Muttley would say after Dick Dastardly has once again failed to sabotage Penelope Pitstop's race.

[Furmedge]

People who slow down at green lights incase they turn to amber. They usually do because you're driving at about 10mph for 500m before them.

[General Dryness]

People who slow down drastically below the speed limit when they see a cop car. Shitting their pants even though the worst thing they ever did in their lives was return a library book a day late in 1972.

 

Do they think they're going to get Rodney Kinged or something? Its not the mean fucking streets of LA you cuntbubbles.

[Moo]

Referring to Glastonbury as "Glasto", similarly university as "uni". Both sound shit and make me cringe.

[Bob]

I'm not having that.

 

Calling Uni, university. Now that's something to raise suspicion.

[Dougie Do'ins]

People who sign off emails with x. Utter fucking cunts.

 

People who when they see someone with an unexplained injury suddenly become experts in the human anatomy. Fuck off you twats. I don't want your quack opinion.

[Anubis]

Calm down, Mick.

 

Regards,

 

Anubis x