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little things that annoy the shit out of you


boots123
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5 hours ago, VladimirIlyich said:

I'm trying to stop my Grandaughter from learning 'x-y-zee' instead of 'zed.' And I'm trying to get her to say book with the 'oo' pronounced rather than a male deer,as in 'buck.' Getting her to say b'oo'k while at school in Manc Land would be fun.

 

SentimentalDistantArgentineruddyduck-max-1mb.gif

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6 hours ago, cloggypop said:

Those Pilgrim blerts lived in Leiden for 20 years before heading off to annoy America. 

 

The city doesn't really make a big thing of it. There's a small plaque where they sailed from and a tiny pilgrim museum. Loads of the leaders are also buried in Pieterskerk. 

 

I assume it's kept quiet to keep the numbers of US tourists down. 

Sensible.

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20 minutes ago, Rico1304 said:

I’m going to Ibiza next Thursday and we are having a boat trip to Formentera on Friday. That means I’ll miss Cara Delavignes birthday party on Formentera by a week.  

I'm sure she'll save you some cake if you ask nicely.

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On 08/08/2022 at 17:07, YorkshireRed said:

This one’s been said before but people who just call round without warning.

 

Some fucker friend of the wife, who she hasn’t seen or had any contact with in about five years, has turned up at the door with two of her ugly and morose teenagers. 
 

I was just about to make my kids tea, then think about ours, but I’ll have to wait until they fuck off now. They’ve gone in the garden, I’ve said hello but then gone back inside. I’ll get a bollocking for this later, even though I barely know the cunts. My youngest has been forced to engage as well, he hates this kind of shit even more than me.

 

I’m anxious and livid at the same time. 

I still vividly remember from 30 years ago when we were home and a family of relatives turned up unannounced. I think they were my dads cousin and his family, definitely from his side. From Liverpool or somewhere up that way passing through brum on their way home from a holiday and thought they’d call in. All of them. At tea time.

 

whatever was for tea got saved for tomorrow and instead we all had fish and chips. What seemed to be hundreds of us around the dining table.

 

one of the kids put ketchup on their chips but then didn’t put lid back on properly.

 

The oddball dad grabbed the sauce bottle and gave it a good shake for some reason.


Lid flew off.

 

Sauce everywhere.
 

Up the walls, in the stereo, over people.

 

They left straight after tea.

 

Knobhead. 

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1 hour ago, Harry's Lad said:

Double barrelled surnames. 

It's not the kids fault, it's the knobhead parents.

There's a lot of professional  players of the unmentionable with them these days with the most ridiculous being Dewsbury-Hall.

Sounds like a fucking stately home.

Deffo what a ridiculous trend it only stands for that I'm not from  a traditional family set up, a reflection on todays ghastly society.

Yours Ponceby Smythe. 

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It’s not really annoying but it’s just made me laugh on the train I’m on from Manchester Piccadilly to Lime St hearing someone calling someone else “cock” knowing that in about 4 stops calling someone “cock” means something completely different. 

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I got stung by a wasp yesterday. Not a full on sting I don’t think, more a slight prick. It hurt a bit but I remained stoic so as not upset my wuss friend who is scared of everything. 
 

An elderly lady examined me and pronounced me ‘not going to die’. Not sure what medical qualifications she has, but she does make nice sandwiches at the cricket club I was at.

 

It came about as I was drinking a Blood Orange Cider and said wasp tried to fly into my mouth. I swiped the critter away but it managed to get a jab in beneath my lower lip. 
 

It’s not wasps I’m annoyed with though, it’s the wife. I told her my story of near death and she made no effort to even hide her disinterest. 
 

She is also little. 

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6 minutes ago, YorkshireRed said:

I got stung by a wasp yesterday. Not a full on sting I don’t think, more a slight prick. It hurt a bit but I remained stoic so as not upset my wuss friend who is scared of everything. 
 

An elderly lady examined me and pronounced me ‘not going to die’. Not sure what medical qualifications she has, but she does make nice sandwiches at the cricket club I was at.

 

It came about as I was drinking a Blood Orange Cider and said wasp tried to fly into my mouth. I swiped the critter away but it managed to get a jab in beneath my lower lip. 
 

It’s not wasps I’m annoyed with though, it’s the wife. I told her my story of near death and she made no effort to even hide her disinterest. 
 

She is also little. 

A slight prick stung a large one is the natural conclusion drawn here.

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5 minutes ago, Babb'sBurstNad said:

People who say / write mobile phone numbers weirdly.

 

Five digits, then three, then another three. That's the correct way. Not 07...7423...63...740

 

Yep, you just described my missus. She's a 3-3-3-2 person. Deranged. 5-3-3 is the only acceptable format.

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