little things that annoy the shit out of you

[Elite]

29 minutes ago, Bjornebye said:

John Hammond in the original Jurassic Park is actually a bit of a bellend. Not content with re-introducing human heating dinosaurs back onto the planet, he also manages to have some very fucking annoying traits. He says "spared no expense" about 42 times. When his grandkids are missing in the park he's just sat there stuffing his face. He lets Ellie go to the compound to turn Jurassic Park back online, some gentleman. Blags on that he's a man of the people near the start saying they won't price people out of tickets, my arse. He's a cunt there I said it. 

 

Oh and he lands his helicopter on the archeological site like the self-centred prick that he is 

 

EDIT: And why wouldn't you have manual locking on doors in a fucking dinosaur park 

Radiatorsaurus?

[VladimirIlyich]

3 hours ago, Babb'sBurstNad said:

Blokes who learn to play the guitar, but only know shit songs. Can hear a fella down the road strumming away, and he's gone through The Kooks, Mumford and Sons, George Ezra and Oasis.

He must be good if you can recognise the songs. Three years in and all I can play is one verse of Twinkle Twinkle Little Star!

[Bjornebye]

3 minutes ago, Elite said:

Radiatorsaurus?

Hahahaha fuck sake 

[Le Duan]

54 minutes ago, Elite said:

Radiatorsaurus?

Combisaurus

[Bobby Hundreds]

My usual tv home buying show gripe. Annoys me when they offer massively under the asking price because "we'd like to fit a pool" or "we need the money to tidy it up". Why the fuck should the current owners pay for the shit you want to do.

[Elite]

3 minutes ago, Bobby Hundreds said:

My usual tv home buying show gripe. Annoys me when they offer massively under the asking price because "we'd like to fit a pool" or "we need the money to tidy it up". Why the fuck should the current owners pay for the shit you want to do.

They should just have pikeys doing the negotiations.

 

"The deal was, you bought it as you saw it."

 

 

 

 

[Oh Buoy]

Tradesman who are only there to provide a quote asking to use your loo. 

 

Further point to this, tradesman who are only there to provide a quote asking to use your loo and once given the green light proceed to do a shite and partially flush the fucker. Only to then wash their hands and dry them on every fucking towel you've got in there. 

[VladimirIlyich]

8 hours ago, Bot said:

Tradesman who are only there to provide a quote asking to use your loo. 

 

Further point to this, tradesman who are only there to provide a quote asking to use your loo and once given the green light proceed to do a shite and partially flush the fucker. Only to then wash their hands and dry them on every fucking towel you've got in there. 

Sorry to break it to you but,they weren't tradesmen!

[Trumo]

On 13/06/2022 at 17:28, Bobby Hundreds said:

My usual tv home buying show gripe. Annoys me when they offer massively under the asking price because "we'd like to fit a pool" or "we need the money to tidy it up". Why the fuck should the current owners pay for the shit you want to do.

 

If it features a couple, the woman will get knocked up and be heavily pregnant throughout the renovation. The kid may even have surfaced before the end. And the woman will not bitch and moan about having to live in a caravan because they sold their old house to pay for the new one.

[sir roger]

10 hours ago, Bot said:

Tradesman who are only there to provide a quote asking to use your loo. 

 

Further point to this, tradesman who are only there to provide a quote asking to use your loo and once given the green light proceed to do a shite and partially flush the fucker. Only to then wash their hands and dry them on every fucking towel you've got in there. 

All while you have to put up with the less than dulcet tones of Z Cars emanating from under your toilet door.

[Dave D]

My wardrobe, the massive clothes hiding twat.

[CapeRed]

Sadly , as I get older the list just fucking increases. The latest after a trip abroad are those fuckers who seem unable to navigate to their seat on a plane and usually end up blocking the aisle while they try to find seat 24 A.

[Nelly-Szoboszlai]

These fucking cunts and other people who are like them, who dance shitely at a camera to get famous. 
 

https://www.tiktok.com/@thefamileigh/video/7102458540920442117?sender_device=mobile&sender_web_id=7110219755378787846&is_from_webapp=v1&is_copy_url=0

[YorkshireRed]

Handymen/Handywomen going about their business in my vicinity. I already feel inadequate about my lack of skills in this area. I don’t need to see, or hear, you embarking on some kind of freestyle drilling escapade from within my own four walls. 

[Captain Willard]

Hydration. When I was a kid you drank some water at lunchtime and maybe at break from the fountain if it was hot. Now the school are sending e mails threatening to send kids home if they don’t bring in a water bottle. Fucking ridiculous. 

[Bjornebye]

1 hour ago, Captain Willard said:

Hydration. When I was a kid you drank some water at lunchtime and maybe at break from the fountain if it was hot. Now the school are sending e mails threatening to send kids home if they don’t bring in a water bottle. Fucking ridiculous. 

What????? 

 

Fuck sake the tories are really following that Thatcher path to a tee. Licking the metallic lid of a bottle of milk was one of the best things ever. Now you have to bring your own water? 

[Tony Moanero]

Cheeky cunts. Every classroom should have a fridge full of complimentary summery soft drinks, such as Lilt, and a freezer full of Calippos.

[Bjornebye]

1 hour ago, Tony Moanero said:

Cheeky cunts. Every classroom should have a fridge full of complimentary summery soft drinks, such as Lilt, and a freezer full of Calippos.

And E's

[Elite]

Like the Gestapo at my son's school. Sent him in with a little bit of cordial in his water bottle (It's metal, so they can't see any colouring) and they emptied it and filled it with plain water. Jobsworth and a half who did that.

 

[Colonel Bumcunt]

People who wipe their arse by reaching behind. 

[Tony Moanero]

2 hours ago, Colonel Bumcunt said:

People who wipe their arse by reaching behind. 

I bet you have a shit and pull your pants up without wiping.

[Remmie]

On 12/06/2022 at 17:43, Captain Willard said:

If he was a real person, he would undoubtedly be a kiddy fiddler.  All those young boys alone on sailing trips. Never trusted him. We should have a thread on fictional characters who are probably sex offenders. 

 

On 12/06/2022 at 17:25, YorkshireRed said:

Teenagers who think fish fingers grow on trees, instead of being £3.30 for a pack of ten in Morrisons when they used to be £2.00.

 

Oh and the Captain with his fucking table. You’d think he’d tone down his over enthusiastic smile, given how much he’s charging us for his produce. 

@Captain Turdseye I wouldn't stand for that

[Captain Turdseye]

7 hours ago, Remmie said:

 

@Captain Turdseye I wouldn't stand for that

To be fair, I’m still waiting for someone to prove beyond doubt that I don’t touch little kids. 
 

I’m still young. We all pick up little bad habits as we age. 

[Captain Willard]

Shit bottles of alcohol bring contributed to the Tombola at school fetes. Came home late last night and opened a bottle of wine we’d won at the fete last weekend. It was awful. We need a national consensus that from now on we are all going to contribute decent stuff to bottle Tombolas. 

[VladimirIlyich]

17 hours ago, Tony Moanero said:

I bet you have a shit and pull your pants up without wiping.

Thanks for that image Tone! Thinking about images of skidmarks like rush hour at Heathrow is not very appealing at all.