little things that annoy the shit out of you

[Bjornebye]

7 minutes ago, chrisbonnie said:

Not sure if this is going on in England now, or just here in Ireland. But with this covid shit, packing your shopping bags in the shops is a right pain in the bollox. 

 

I don't mean your weekly shop, but just going over for a few bits and bobs, you have to squeeze your items under the clear screen and the till workers are instructed to not push the items back, so you then have to squeeze your arms underneath to get your loaf of bread back. 

 

Fuck off and just push the bread and milk back...... 

Haha yeah it's the same here. Most of them pack the bag for you in the shop by ours but one woman stuffs a carrier bag at you under the gap before you've even put your items down. Makes the whole thing a really awkward experience for you. 

[sir roger]

1 hour ago, Captain Turdseye said:

Cocaine and snacks. It’s one or the other, you can’t have both.

 

Maybe the magician was provided for the people who chose snacks. 

Had a workmate who earned a decent sideline as a magician/ children's entertainer and after a successful two hour stint at a pub in Speke was approached by the father hosting it, offering him £200 and some cocaine to do another hour.

My mate apologised and explained he was booked at another party , whereupon the father shows he has a gun inside his coat & says ' I'm sorry if I made that sound like a request '

Surprisingly enough the dad got the extra hour and the drugs got thrown out of the car window as soon as my mate got out of the car park.

[VERBAL DIARRHEA]

On 10/10/2020 at 15:09, AngryofTuebrook said:

When people write "lead" instead of "led".

There off there head.

[YorkshireRed]

1 hour ago, Captain Turdseye said:

Cocaine and snacks. It’s one or the other, you can’t have both.

 

Maybe the magician was provided for the people who chose snacks. 

The magician wasn’t there in a magic capacity. As far as I could tell he was an invited guest who mistakenly thought I’d rather watch card tricks than talk to hot lesbians. It’s probably my own fault, giving off the wrong vibe somehow. 

[Dave D]

Something that irked me recently- people who allow their kids (as in 7 or 8yrs old) to actually sit in the main part of the shopping trolley. Not the little seat at the front, the main bit where you put your shopping.  

[Bjornebye]

4 minutes ago, Dave D said:

Something that irked me recently- people who allow their kids (as in 7 or 8yrs old) to actually sit in the main part of the shopping trolley. Not the little seat at the front, the main bit where you put your shopping.  

As long as they aren’t in my way I’m fine with that. Little cunts 

[Dave D]

On 10/10/2020 at 09:46, YorkshireRed said:

I have the greatest neighbour in the history of neighbours. Basically it’s owned by a rich woman, about my age, who’s married to a much older guy. Their real home is some massive affair a few miles away. She uses next door as a ‘party house’ as he’s not bothered about that sort of stuff any more but let’s her have her freedom. It’s only used occasionally so most of the time it’s empty. If I time my return from Saturday afternoon/evening drinking correctly she invites me over. Last time there were hot lesbians, shit loads of cocaine on a tray and nice snacks. There was also a magician but he was shit. The only problem is my wife gets really pissed off if she finds out I went over there, no idea why. It would be better if the house was a few doors down, rather than right next door. 

I think you will find you have unwittingly had a walk on role in several pornos. 

[Dave D]

6 minutes ago, Bjornebye said:

As long as they aren’t in my way I’m fine with that. Little cunts 

Treading all manner of shit over the trolley where other people will put their food. Cant be be doing with it

[Bjornebye]

5 minutes ago, Dave D said:

Treading all manner of shit over the trolley where other people will put their food. Cant be be doing with it

Yeah there is that. Kids are cunts. 

[General Dryness]

On 16/10/2020 at 23:40, VERBAL DIARRHEA said:

There off there head.

 

[VERBAL DIARRHEA]

6 minutes ago, General Dryness said:

 

They our you no.

[Evelyn Tentions]

3 hours ago, Dave D said:

Treading all manner of shit over the trolley where other people will put their food. Cant be be doing with it

Not only that but even when they're sitting in the little seat at the back the little twats are wiping fuck knows what on the handle for the next shopper to find.

[Mook]

What the fuck has happened on YouTube? The link/copy option has disappeared from the videos tonight.

 

Bad one.

[cloggypop]

7 minutes ago, Mook said:

What the fuck has happened on YouTube? The link/copy option has disappeared from the videos tonight.

 

Bad one.

Just copy and paste the address. Change to desktop if on mobile. 

[Mook]

16 minutes ago, cloggypop said:

Just copy and paste the address. Change to desktop if on mobile. 

Sounds like a pain in the arse but thanks, it'll come in handy.

[Mook]

They've moved it, into where you read the video information.

[Evelyn Tentions]

1 hour ago, Mook said:

They've moved it, into where you read the video information.

Standard software/internet operating procedure. Wait until it's working perfectly and everyone knows how to use it. Then change it for no logical reason in ways to piss off the maximum number of users.

[YorkshireRed]

People who ‘just thought they’d call round and see you’.

 

Even those turning up at my house having previously phoned, or keeping a prearranged appointment, make me anxious.
 

Come to think of it, so do those arriving who I specifically invited so imagine the horror of seeing someone I know trundling down the garden path with a gormless smile on their faces that I wasn’t expecting and therefore hadn’t mentally prepared for. 
 

It’s almost always the wife’s family as well, usually when she’s out so I have to make the thirty seconds small talk I have at my disposal last thirty minutes. Luckily our kettle takes ages to boil so I can hide in the kitchen for ten minutes on the pretext of making them a cup of tea. 
 

I do know this is just my defected personality, that I’d probably miss these people ‘dropping in’ if they stopped and that many others would love to have visitors over, invited or not. 
 

They still annoy the shit out of me though...

[Jairzinho]

Just hide.

[Elite]

34 minutes ago, YorkshireRed said:

People who ‘just thought they’d call round and see you’.

 

Even those turning up at my house having previously phoned, or keeping a prearranged appointment, make me anxious.
 

Come to think of it, so do those arriving who I specifically invited so imagine the horror of seeing someone I know trundling down the garden path with a gormless smile on their faces that I wasn’t expecting and therefore hadn’t mentally prepared for. 
 

It’s almost always the wife’s family as well, usually when she’s out so I have to make the thirty seconds small talk I have at my disposal last thirty minutes. Luckily our kettle takes ages to boil so I can hide in the kitchen for ten minutes on the pretext of making them a cup of tea. 
 

I do know this is just my defected personality, that I’d probably miss these people ‘dropping in’ if they stopped and that many others would love to have visitors over, invited or not. 
 

They still annoy the shit out of me though...

Yeah it completely fucks up my day that. I like time to plan and process things, none of this spontaneous shit. I wouldn't dream of turning up at someone's house unplanned.

[YorkshireRed]

18 minutes ago, Elite said:

Yeah it completely fucks up my day that. I like time to plan and process things, none of this spontaneous shit. I wouldn't dream of turning up at someone's house unplanned.

I wouldn’t either. I’m sure the wife secretly arranges these visits with her mother, sister, niece, nephew, childhood friend, old lady she met in the street etc. for times she knows she’ll be out and I’ll be sat on the sofa wearing pyjamas in the middle of the day just to mess with my head. 
 

I’ve got a friend who sometimes calls round whilst walking his dog. Although I’ve known him for thirty years, ninety percent of our face to face interactions involve neutral venues and alcohol. Trying to communicate whilst sober, taken off guard by his unannounced visit and on my home patch is unnatural and stresses me out. 
 

When I walk our dog past his house I never call in. He’s even knocked on his window a couple of times but I just wave and walk on by. 

[cloggypop]

The Dutch wouldn't let you in the house if you just turned up unannounced. It would be made quite clear that it was your fault as well. Appointment only. 

 

Just tell them that you are busy and never to do this without arrangement ever again. Put on a heavy comedy Dutch accent for full effect. Then shut the door in their face. 

[Rushies tash]

1 hour ago, YorkshireRed said:

People who ‘just thought they’d call round and see you’.

 

Even those turning up at my house having previously phoned, or keeping a prearranged appointment, make me anxious.
 

Come to think of it, so do those arriving who I specifically invited so imagine the horror of seeing someone I know trundling down the garden path with a gormless smile on their faces that I wasn’t expecting and therefore hadn’t mentally prepared for. 
 

It’s almost always the wife’s family as well, usually when she’s out so I have to make the thirty seconds small talk I have at my disposal last thirty minutes. Luckily our kettle takes ages to boil so I can hide in the kitchen for ten minutes on the pretext of making them a cup of tea. 
 

I do know this is just my defected personality, that I’d probably miss these people ‘dropping in’ if they stopped and that many others would love to have visitors over, invited or not. 
 

They still annoy the shit out of me though...

 

Hmm. Your neighbour has sex parties and invites you round.

 

Then, your friends start to turn up unannounced while your wife is out...

 

[Kevin D]

Captcha asking me to click all the squares with a bike in them and then telling me I'm wrong. I know a bike when I see one, cheeky twat.

[Chairman Meow]

1 hour ago, cloggypop said:

The Dutch wouldn't let you in the house if you just turned up unannounced. It would be made quite clear that it was your fault as well. Appointment only. 

 

Just tell them that you are busy and never to do this without arrangement ever again. Put on a heavy comedy Dutch accent for full effect. Then shut the door in their face. 

It would appear that for several years that apart from the accent I must have been self identifying as Dutch.