little things that annoy the shit out of you

[SammyAftershave]

On 23/08/2019 at 08:16, Mook said:

Is this about the time I went to Lanzarote to recreate the Fools Gold video?

Wasn't that glorious 'Chief Wiggums Chilli Cook-off' episode guest starring Johnny Cash filmed in real time up Mooks arse in Lanzarote? Or am I getting mixed up with another episode, another drug hazed experience or an entirely different episode altogether?

[SammyAftershave]

On 23/08/2019 at 08:16, Mook said:

Is this about the time I went to Lanzarote to recreate the Fools Gold video?

Wasn't that glorious 'Chief Wiggums Chilli Cook-off' episode guest starring Johnny Cash filmed in real time up Mooks arse in Lanzarote? Or am I getting mixed up with another episode, another drug hazed experience or an entirely different holiday altogether?

Edited August 28, 2019 by SammyAftershave
Duobled

[SammyAftershave]

On 23/08/2019 at 08:16, Mook said:

Is this about the time I went to Lanzarote to recreate the Fools Gold video?

Wasn't that glorious 'Chief Wiggums Chilli Cook-off' episode guest starring Johnny Cash filmed in real time up Mooks arse in Lanzarote? Or am I getting mixed up with another episode, another drug hazed experience or an entirely different holiday altogether?

Edited August 28, 2019 by SammyAftershave
Trebled

[SammyAftershave]

What a risup. That's what comes of eating Chief Wiggums Chilli.

[Mook]

5 minutes ago, SammyAftershave said:

What a risup. That's what comes of eating Chief Wiggums Chilli.

You'd be in some state after a few Flaming Moes.

[General Dryness]

1 hour ago, SammyAftershave said:

Wasn't that glorious 'Chief Wiggums Chilli Cook-off' episode guest starring Johnny Cash filmed in real time up Mooks arse in Lanzarote? Or am I getting mixed up with another episode, another drug hazed experience or an entirely different episode altogether?

Best simpsons ever.

[Guest Pistonbroke]

Cunts who beep you at traffic lights because you haven't put your foot on the gas pedal immediately after the lights turn from red to amber, then tailgate you for the next few KM's flashing their lights because you aren't breaking the land speed record and ignoring the speed limit. 

[Mudface]

Probably the same ones as the pricks who want to drive at 40 no matter what the speed limit actually is. They're all over you in a 30 zone, then a rapidly receding dot in the mirror when you get to the dual carriageway.

 

23 minutes ago, Pistonbroke said:

Cunts who beep you at traffic lights because you haven't put your foot on the gas pedal immediately after the lights turn from red to amber, then tailgate you for the next few KM's flashing their lights because you aren't breaking the land speed record and ignoring the speed limit. 

 

[Guest Pistonbroke]

2 minutes ago, Mudface said:

Probably the same ones as the pricks who want to drive at 40 no matter what the speed limit actually is. They're all over you in a 30 zone, then a rapidly receding dot in the mirror when you get to the dual carriageway.

 

 

 

It doesn't matter where you drive, there seems to be an awful lot of impatient drivers who don't give a shit about anybody but themselves. 

[Trumo]

When your printer decides to stop communicating wirelessly with your laptop.

[Bjornebye]

35 minutes ago, Trumo said:

When your printer decides to stop communicating wirelessly with your laptop.

Better get it sorted before it starts printing when someone else is there 

[Bobby Hundreds]

Took my CPU fan off my pc to clear it out thinking I know what I'm doing. Proceeded to snap every plastic connector trying to put it back on. Plus I scraped a load of crap of the back of it thinking now it's nice and clean, turns out that's thermal compound to keep it cool. I don't know why I don't give up on the old piece of shit.

[Mudface]

12 hours ago, Bobby Hundreds said:

Took my CPU fan off my pc to clear it out thinking I know what I'm doing. Proceeded to snap every plastic connector trying to put it back on. Plus I scraped a load of crap of the back of it thinking now it's nice and clean, turns out that's thermal compound to keep it cool. I don't know why I don't give up on the old piece of shit.

Bit late, but these are your friend-

 

 

 

[Oh Buoy]

• Needing a "cup of morning joe". 
• Making said "morning joe" and pouring in milk only to find out it's curdled. 
• Companies who buy you leaving gifts like a mug with the team on it and having to look at them square in the eye and pretend it's a thoughtful gift. 

[Le Duan]

Cunts overtaking you when you’ve stopped to give way to a car coming the other way - seventh level for you ya twat!

[Jairzinho]

13 minutes ago, Seasons said:

• Needing a "cup of morning joe". 
• Making said "morning joe" and pouring in milk only to find out it's curdled. 
• Companies who buy you leaving gifts like a mug with the team on it and having to look at them square in the eye and pretend it's a thoughtful gift. 

Great gif that.

 

Just let me have my food you weird cunt.

[Captain Turdseye]

I am fuming. One side of our bed is against the wall and naturally that wall gets the odd scrape from the quilt, a leg or a knee when we’re tossing and turning or, heaven forbid, doing the sex. Mrs Turdseye and the kids are away and I’ve still got half a tub of the paint I used for the bedroom so I decided to give that wall a freshen up yesterday. It turned out great, no need to do the rest of the room so I lashed some fresh bedding on and hopped in for a good night’s sleep. 

 

Didn't work out that way. Didn’t sleep well at all, had a proper rough night. No drama, happens all the time. Only I woke up to find that the dog has done a little shart on the freshly painted wall. Little fucking bastard. He’s never done that before and as far as I can see he hasn’t done it anywhere else. It appears that the little knobhead is openly taking the piss because he likes my missus more than he likes me. 

 

Now I've got to pull the bed out again, anti-septic wipe the wall and get the paint back out, which will mean washing the roller again and all that nonsense. Then for my own piece of mind I’ll have to put clean bedding on for the second day in a row. 

 

CUNT. 

[Oh Buoy]

2 minutes ago, Captain Turdseye said:

I am fuming. One side of our bed is against the wall and naturally that wall gets the odd scrape from the quilt, a leg or a knee when we’re tossing and turning or, heaven forbid, doing the sex. Mrs Turdseye and the kids are away and I’ve still got half a tub of the paint I used for the bedroom so I decided to give that wall a freshen up yesterday. It turned out great, no need to do the rest of the room so I lashed some fresh bedding on and hopped in for a good night’s sleep. 

 

Didn't work out that way. Didn’t sleep well at all, had a proper rough night. No drama, happens all the time. Only I woke up to find that the dog has done a little shart on the freshly painted wall. Little fucking bastard. He’s never done that before and as far as I can see he hasn’t done it anywhere else. It appears that the little knobhead is openly taking the piss because he likes my missus more than he likes me. 

 

Now I've got to pull the bed out again, anti-septic wipe the wall and get the paint back out, which will mean washing the roller again and all that nonsense. Then for my own piece of mind I’ll have to put clean bedding on for the second day in a row. 

 

CUNT. 

 

Get him on here, sounds like he'd fit right in. 

[Trumo]

Did you get Paulie's missus to do her Feng Shui when designing your room layout?

[Captain Turdseye]

Just now, Trumo said:

Did you get Paulie's missus to do her Feng Shui when designing your room layout?

 

She (not Paulie’s missus) decided that we needed a king size bed. It’s one of them with a draw underneath on each side, only we can’t use one because it’s up against the fucking wall. 

[Guest Pistonbroke]

2 hours ago, Captain Turdseye said:

 

She (not Paulie’s missus) decided that we needed a king size bed. It’s one of them with a draw underneath on each side, only we can’t use one because it’s up against the fucking wall. 

Perfect hiding place for your wank mags. 

[Tony Moanero]

Just spend 45 minutes watching Pointless and the finalists picked Beyoncé over Scottish football. Fuck off!

[Bjornebye]

9 hours ago, Captain Turdseye said:

I am fuming. One side of our bed is against the wall and naturally that wall gets the odd scrape from the quilt, a leg or a knee when we’re tossing and turning or, heaven forbid, doing the sex. Mrs Turdseye and the kids are away and I’ve still got half a tub of the paint I used for the bedroom so I decided to give that wall a freshen up yesterday. It turned out great, no need to do the rest of the room so I lashed some fresh bedding on and hopped in for a good night’s sleep. 

 

Didn't work out that way. Didn’t sleep well at all, had a proper rough night. No drama, happens all the time. Only I woke up to find that the dog has done a little shart on the freshly painted wall. Little fucking bastard. He’s never done that before and as far as I can see he hasn’t done it anywhere else. It appears that the little knobhead is openly taking the piss because he likes my missus more than he likes me. 

 

Now I've got to pull the bed out again, anti-septic wipe the wall and get the paint back out, which will mean washing the roller again and all that nonsense. Then for my own piece of mind I’ll have to put clean bedding on for the second day in a row. 

 

CUNT. 

I imagine you need a new wall mate 

[manwiththestick]

1 hour ago, Tony Moanero said:

Just spend 45 minutes watching Pointless and the finalists picked Beyoncé over Scottish football. Fuck off!

Scottish football and pointless in the same sentence, not for the first time I'm sure.

[Bjornebye]

25 minutes ago, manwiththestick said:

Scottish football and pointless in the same sentence, not for the first time I'm sure.

Apply for Mock the Week mate