little things that annoy the shit out of you

[Bjornebye]

5 minutes ago, Mudface said:

Anything short of black out blinds is fine for me.

You've got one of those nightlights that project stars on the ceiling haven't you

 

I'm just jealous 

 

 

 

[Tony Moanero]

I can’t get to sleep unless Teddy Ruxpin tells me a bedtime story.

[AngryOfTuebrook]

1 hour ago, Tony Moanero said:

I can’t get to sleep unless Teddy Ruxpin tells me a bedtime story.

Yer Ma's snoring and farting keeps me awake. 

[Pureblood]

Scruffs who order the most expensive thing on the menu when they're not paying.

[The Golden Eel]

When you get out of the shower and realise that there's no towel within close reach.

[Captain Turdseye]

18 minutes ago, DimReaper said:

When you get out of the shower and realise that there's no towel within close reach.

 

Almost as bad as being mid-poo and realising there’s no bog roll on the holder. 

[The Golden Eel]

1 minute ago, Captain Turdseye said:

 

Almost as bad as being mid-poo and realising there’s no bog roll on the holder. 

Indeed. Another one is when you're already soaked in the shower and you realise you're out of shampoo or shower gel. 

[Captain Turdseye]

4 minutes ago, DimReaper said:

Indeed. Another one is when you're already soaked in the shower and you realise you're out of shampoo or shower gel. 

 

You’re just making stuff up now. 

[Remmie]

5 minutes ago, DimReaper said:

Indeed. Another one is when you're already soaked in the shower and you realise you're out of shampoo or shower gel. 

I just use the wife's in that instance and end up smelling of Jasmine, Jojoba and other wonderful feminine stenches that don't mean much to me 

[The Golden Eel]

8 minutes ago, Remmie said:

I just use the wife's in that instance and end up smelling of Jasmine, Jojoba and other wonderful feminine stenches that don't mean much to me 

I'd certainly do that if I had a wife... 

[The Golden Eel]

10 minutes ago, Captain Turdseye said:

 

You’re just making stuff up now. 

It seems like you're jealous because it's 2-1 to me. 

[Stouffer]

When you're filling a glass with water from the tap and some of it goes down the outside of the glass.

[VladimirIlyich]

Whoever designed the method how to get plasters out of their wrappers without tearing them in half is an utter moron as its almost impossible not to.

[Spy Bee]

I get so angry about people having pie on the menu and then delivering food in a pot with a pastry lid on. That's not a pie! It's like ordering a tent and getting an umbrella!

[sir roger]

Plugging in your phone / ipad to charge and going back an hour later and realising it was switched off from the wall.

[Bjornebye]

Thick cunts who don't check if the power is on then blame the power for not being on as opposed to themselves. 

[sir roger]

I'm sure it beeped as I put it in , considering a Poirot-type session to see if anybody in the house turned it off.

[Bjornebye]

Just now, sir roger said:

I'm sure it beeped as I put it in , considering a Poirot-type session to see if anybody in the house turned it off.

How many times have you used that line 

[Dr Nowt]

People who try to convince you their favourite comedian is the most hilarious thing you’ve never seen, by recounting whole lengthy routines, obviously with the precise comic delivery of the original, rather than just saying “I like such and such, check it out if you can be arsed.”

 

I admittedly have a low threshold for faking responses, but anyone can politely smile and feign interest when given a standard brief overview, even if the thing sounds fucking dreadful and like something you’d pay to avoid. Stayed with my mate recently though and his wife did the above relentlessly for two days about some fella she thinks is funny and had been been to see live.

 

”I’m starting to bore you aren’t I?”

”You’re honestly not starting to bore me.”

[Bjornebye]

1 minute ago, Lizzie Birdsworths Wrinkled Chopper said:

People who try to convince you their favourite comedian is the most hilarious thing you’ve never seen, by trying to recount whole lengthy routines to you, obviously with the precise comic delivery of the original, rather than just saying “I like such and such, check it out if you can be arsed.”

 

I admittedly have a low threshold for faking responses, but anyone can politely smile and feign interest when given a standard brief overview, even if the thing sounds fucking dreadful and like something you’d pay to avoid. Stayed with my mate recently though and his wife did the above relentlessly for two days about some fella she thinks is funny and had been been to see live.

 

”I’m starting to bore you aren’t I?”

”You’re honestly not starting to bore me.”

You went home and put him straight on youtube and watched the whole lot didn't you. 

[Dr Nowt]

1 minute ago, Bjornebye said:

You went home and put him straight on youtube and watched the whole lot didn't you. 

Didn’t need to mate.

 

It was the night after Barcelona at home as well, following a 5 hour drive in the pissing rain with that hangover, so imagine my receptiveness.

[Bjornebye]

8 minutes ago, Lizzie Birdsworths Wrinkled Chopper said:

Didn’t need to mate.

 

It was the night after Barcelona at home as well, following a 5 hour drive in the pissing rain with that hangover, so imagine my receptiveness.

Hahahaha you were sound as fuck all night until we were about to go our separate ways and I got a glimpse of your receptiveness when I introduced you to the female Luis Garcia. If you were half as cutting as you were at that moment then the poor woman wont watch a comedian again. 

 

[Curly]

On ‎11‎/‎05‎/‎2019 at 19:49, Captain Turdseye said:

 

Almost as bad as being mid-poo and realising there’s no bog roll on the holder. 

I love it when that happens. Just use it as an excuse not to wipe my arse.

[Bob]

1 hour ago, sir roger said:

Plugging in your phone / ipad to charge and going back an hour later and realising it was switched off from the wall.

The only thing that causes arguments between me and my missus. Stop turning it off. Grr

[stringvest]

On 11/05/2019 at 20:12, Stouffer said:

When you're filling a glass with water from the tap and some of it goes down the outside of the glass.

that's the shower you're using there Stouff, not the tap.