little things that annoy the shit out of you

[Fugitive]

12 hours ago, Tony Moanero said:

Cycling is boss, although losing Spokey Dokeys pisses me off.

 

10 hours ago, VladimirIlyich said:

Just use lolly ice sticks.

Or just crush one of these and wedge it between the frame and tyre... instant motorbike upgrade.

 

 

[Babb'sBurstNad]

Clocks with loud, fast ticks. Just put up a nice vintage ceramic clock, looks lovely, works fine, then I notice it... and it's driving me insane.

[Oh Buoy]

5 hours ago, Captain Turdseye said:

 

I’ve just had a horrendous one. My bum hole was itchy and now it’s bleeding due to over aggressive wiping. I need to shower and slather it with cream but I’m waiting for two parcels from Royal Mail and I know he’ll turn up the second I step in. 

 

Interesting question this, really.

 

I'll start a thread.

[Ken Robber]

People who get up at 8am on a Saturday morning and think "Go'ead, think I'll mow the lawn now."

[Saintslfc13]

On 18/03/2019 at 09:57, Bjornebye said:

Did you tag yourself as in the gym on Facebook? Yeah of course you did. 

Hah no tags no gainz, dems da rules.

[Dr Arthur De Sabre]

On 22/03/2019 at 00:16, gkmacca said:

Cyclists. They're just mental. Complain about bad motorists or pedestrians, and you'll get plenty of motorists and pedestrians agree with you. But complain about bad cyclists and the entire cycling world will go berserk and insist it's some kind of slur. They ride on the pavement and try to slalom around you, they ride through red lights but go nuts if they see cars or pedestrians fail to respect the rules, they seem to think sticking out an arm without looking over their shoulder is sufficient effort before turning-, and they do what the hell they like while insisting that everyone else stays meek and law-abiding. I don't know if bikes attract psychotic blokes, or somehow turn normal blokes into  raging mad men, but there are some serious arseholes out there. The worst are the ones who wear all the Tour de France yellow jerseys and lycra. Wankers.

We have mirrors. 

Not into Lycra though, agree the giro type can be arseholes.

as a relatively new cyclist, after probably 25 years without a bike, the worst are the smug fat fucks on evoked who sail past you smiling, with the battery doing all the work. Kid yerselves on that yer achieving anything you diabetic fuckers.

[gkmacca]

There's a bloke near me who 'rides' a horizontal bike. He's flat on his back, but always glancing around with a smug look on his face as if he thinks everyone is really impressed. It makes no sense - his control is minimal, he has to travel at a snail's pace, and when it rains of course he gets completely soaked, which is always amusing to see. An absolute whopper.

[Dr Arthur De Sabre]

2 minutes ago, gkmacca said:

There's a bloke near me who 'rides' a horizontal bike. He's flat on his back, but always glancing around with a smug look on his face as if he thinks everyone is really impressed. It makes no sense - his control is minimal, he has to travel at a snail's pace, and when it rains of course he gets completely soaked, which is always amusing to see. An absolute whopper.

Aww one of these wankers clogging up the path over here recently - had a pop and asked why he wasn’t in the cycle path instead of getting in the way of the normal peds. Gobshite. I’m a lazy cunt, but i lie down in bed, on a beach or shit like that. Not when I’m supposed to be riding a bastard bike and getting in everyone’s way.

[Nelly-Szoboszlai]

Having to pay close to a quid to get your own money out of a cash machine because your cunt bank has closed all your local branches, meaning no free to use machines nearby. 

 

Fuckers. 

[Elite]

15 minutes ago, Nelly-Torres said:

Having to pay close to a quid to get your own money out of a cash machine because your cunt bank has closed all your local branches, meaning no free to use machines nearby. 

 

Fuckers. 

Do you not live near a supermarket?

[Nelly-Szoboszlai]

29 minutes ago, Elite said:

Do you not live near a supermarket?

Yes. That's where all the machines are which charge you. 

[Rico1304]

3 minutes ago, Nelly-Torres said:

Yes. That's where all the machines are which charge you. 

Get £36 out you tight cunt. 

[Bjornebye]

21 minutes ago, Rico1304 said:

Get £36 out you tight cunt. 

Are you on fucking commission Steve? 

[gkmacca]

1 hour ago, Nelly-Torres said:

Having to pay close to a quid to get your own money out of a cash machine because your cunt bank has closed all your local branches, meaning no free to use machines nearby. 

 

Fuckers. 

Yep. Then there are the small branches that are still open, where you have to queue for ages while some idiot uses the sole cashier as an all-purpose financial adviser, asking question after question, while they gaze at their smart phone. Look, matey, you've got a smart phone, you're know how to surf the internet, so find out all this stuff online!

[VERBAL DIARRHEA]

Porsche twat over the road from me now has a cover for the car the absolute tool.

Might be practical but looks fucking stupid. 

[VladimirIlyich]

21 hours ago, VERBAL DIARRHEA said:

Porsche twat over the road from me now has a cover for the car the absolute tool.

Might be practical but looks fucking stupid. 

I thought the idea of getting a Porsche was for everybody to stare at it?

[VERBAL DIARRHEA]

1 hour ago, VladimirIlyich said:

I thought the idea of getting a Porsche was for everybody to stare at it?

Me too. The cover has a see through part where the licence plate is?

[Trumo]

Captcha 'I am not a robot' security checks. "Here's a selection of pictures taken using a potato. Pick the ones that show the shadow of a worker ant hauling a bit of leaf from a Vermont Cedar tree over a quarter-inch piece of ordinary grey rock that's been eroded smooth on one side."

[Oh Buoy]

Just bought a jigsaw and it doesn't cut straight and cuts out after cutting through one piece of wood. What a shite waste of £16.

 

Heading to screwfix to get a circular saw instead.

 

Argos is shite.

[Bjornebye]

5 minutes ago, Trumo said:

Captcha 'I am not a robot' security checks. "Here's a selection of pictures taken using a potato. Pick the ones that show the shadow of a worker ant hauling a bit of leaf from a Vermont Cedar tree over a quarter-inch piece of ordinary grey rock that's been eroded smooth on one side."

 

[Trumo]

5 minutes ago, Bjornebye said:

 

 

If only it were that easy.

[Champ]

49 minutes ago, Trumo said:

Captcha 'I am not a robot' security checks. "Here's a selection of pictures taken using a potato. Pick the ones that show the shadow of a worker ant hauling a bit of leaf from a Vermont Cedar tree over a quarter-inch piece of ordinary grey rock that's been eroded smooth on one side."

They're bad enough but what about those lazily drawn letters and numbers ones? Is it '9' or a 'g'? And is that one a 'v' or an 'r' or the start of a 'w'?

[Ken Robber]

Having to buy clothes. 

 

I'm so unenthusiastic about getting new clothes that when I have to I almost always take my sister with me just to make sure I actually leave with some clobber. I'd dress like the worst turbo nonce meff ever if I could get away with it if it meant never having to step foot in a shop again.

[Jairzinho]

3 minutes ago, Ken Robber said:

Having to buy clothes. 

 

I'm so unenthusiastic about getting new clothes that when I have to I almost always take my sister with me just to make sure I actually leave with some clobber. I'd dress like the worst turbo nonce meff ever if I could get away with it if it meant never having to step foot in a shop again.

Have you tried...the internet?

[Ken Robber]

21 minutes ago, Jairzinho said:

Have you tried...the internet?

The internet's sound if you're just buying trackies to work out/spill your dinner on. Wouldn't advise it if you need anything you need to make sure you try on first (Jean's etc)