little things that annoy the shit out of you

[Guest]

Chris Evans and his wife have had new children born and they are twins. Fairly normal names for father and mother (Chris and Natasha). So what names are they giving to their children? Pete and Sarah? Mike and Elizabeth? 

 

No.

 

Ping and Pong. Seriously. What the fuck? Ping and Pong? Did they come out looking like table tennis balls?

[Mook]

Zig & Zag would've been more appropriate.

[General Dryness]

Don't worry, ping and pong will get their own back when their mum and dad are eking out the final years of their existence in a nursing home.

 

"Can't I come and live with you son?"

"Should have thought of that when you were filling out the birth certificates dad"

[Trumo]

5 hours ago, Shooter in the Motor said:

Chris Evans and his wife have had new children born and they are twins. Fairly normal names for father and mother (Chris and Natasha). So what names are they giving to their children? Pete and Sarah? Mike and Elizabeth? 

 

No.

 

Ping and Pong. Seriously. What the fuck? Ping and Pong? Did they come out looking like table tennis balls?

 

Looked up the article on the BBC and it seems that those names are just temporary. With Chris Evans being a car nut with a collection of Ferraris, what odds on the kids being named Dino and Testarossa?

 

The article also mentions how the likes of Zoe Ball and Sara Cox will take over Evan's radio show. Are they just going through the Big Breakfast presenter line-up?

[Mook]

I'd quite like to go through a few of the Big Breakfast presenters.

 

I seem to remember they had Jenny McCarthy presenting it for a week, getting to school was a struggle after wanking myself to death I can tell you.

[ZonkoVille77]

Trying to pronounce Polish surnames. Nightmare.

[Remmie]

After cutting chillies and later scratching my ear and my notcher/taint/chin rest/gooch/marmite motorway/perineum

 

Fresh. 

[Carvalho Diablo]

My mother. 

[General Dryness]

Stop fucking remixing great songs.

 

Just heard a Latin dance beat remix of "Time to Say Goodbye ", originally beautifully sung by the great Andrea Bocelli. 

 

I hope everyone involved in the upbeat version gets the shits. 

[Mook]

When you e-mail someone asking for a postal address & they write it out in a line like, Mook Twatface, 28 Cunt Street, Bastardville, BD10 1FO.

 

Instead of how an address should be written:-

 

Mook Twatface

28 Cunt Street

Bastardville

BD10 1FO

 

Does my head in.

[VladimirIlyich]

24 minutes ago, Mook said:

When you e-mail someone asking for a postal address & they write it out in a line like, Mook Twatface, 28 Cunt Street, Bastardville, BD10 1FO.

 

Instead of how an address should be written:-

 

Mook Twatface

28 Cunt Street

Bastardville

BD10 1FO

 

Does my head in.

I had no idea you lived in the same street as me.

[Trumo]

Someone in Bradford is getting dogshit in their letter box.

[Anny Road]

Radio 2 is getting right on my tits lately.

Chris Evans can fuck off at the best of times but if I hear about these twins once more I will hunt him down.

Steve Wright is a nob but you expect that. He is an even bigger one lately with these annoying voices he plays.

Fuck off no g.

Jeremy Vine can choke on his own vomit.

[Captain Turdseye]

I generally don’t mind Steve Wright’s show but it’s definitely best avoided on a Friday afternoon. 

[Anny Road]

Sophie Ellis Bexter is pissing me off but that is not the point here. She’d get it so she can carry on.

She is on the one show and the nob presenter says ‘Singer and a mum how on earth do you manage it’

Try being a nurse or a part time checkout girl. Or a soldier or an paramedic all on 20k a year.

 

A singer on god knows what with a nanny and private school. Fuck off.

[Numero Veinticinco]

1 hour ago, Anny Road said:

Sophie Ellis Bexter is pissing me off but that is not the point here. 

That’s one of the funniest sentences over ever read in my life. Laughing for about ten minutes at that. Sounds like something Simon would say. 

[Anny Road]

20 minutes ago, Numero Veinticinco said:

That’s one of the funniest sentences over ever read in my life. Laughing for about ten minutes at that. Sounds like something Simon would say. 

Fuck off. You are wrong.

She is lovely and I could cuddle her. But she is obviously selling this new shite and waffling on about shite.

But she is as woman has had babies and enhances her entitled, priveledged, position as a musical genius. When in reality she is a shit Kylie and that tells it’s own story.

[Numero Veinticinco]

You on the sauce?

[Anny Road]

11 minutes ago, Numero Veinticinco said:

You on the sauce?

That mean I’m wrong or you are out of other arguments?

I might be but if I said that to you every time I disagreed I’d be at least half way through a good bottle of red.

[Numero Veinticinco]

6 minutes ago, Anny Road said:

That mean I’m wrong or you are out of other arguments?

 

I couldn’t give a fuck about Sophie Eliis-Bextor or the garbled point you’re trying to make about her, let alone bother making an argument against it. You blathered on about me being wrong, and considering I didn’t say anything about it, I assumed you were too pissed to actually read what I was laughing at. I don’t care if you’re pissed, although it would account for your incoherence, and I don’t care about your views on some vacuous cunt off the TV, so pipe the fuck down. I just found it funny that you started a sentence the way you did. 

[Guest]

4 hours ago, Captain Turdseye said:

I generally don’t mind Steve Wright’s show but it’s definitely best avoided on a Friday afternoon. 

I'm inclined to be agreein. 

[Anny Road]

Slapped me as a cheap dig.

Hey I’m open to it.

 

You misinterpret ‘Fuck off ‘ as an insult.

Bit more GF time I prescribe.

[Anny Road]

Yes chef. This Chef No chef.

 

Open that tin of beans, Yes chef.

 

Should we address everyone by their job title. Yes cleaner, No project manager, Yes bus driver.

I am married to a head chef and she agrees to a certain extent. They are treated like heart surgeons when they are just making tea.

[The Golden Eel]

Sitting in a slow-moving queue of cars earlier - moving forward 5 metres, then stopping for 20 seconds type of thing, but this woman behind me kept turning off her engine every single time she stopped and turning it back on to move again. It didn't really make any difference to me but it was really, really, really irritating. 

[Numero Veinticinco]

Dried Weetabix in a bowl. You basically need to go clean the bowl immediately because the dishwasher ain’t getting that shit off after it has dried on. It’s a hammer and chisel job.