little things that annoy the shit out of you

[Duncan Clench]

When cutting along the dotted line doesn't give you access to the cheese.

[Jairzinho]

Losing a fiver.

[s(k)aturation]

Losing a one-dollar coin, let alone a two-dollar one.

[Paulie Dangerously]

When cutting along the dotted line doesn't give you access to the cheese.

 

Or it does, but also renders the re-sealable seams useless

[Captain Turdseye]

I mentioned it a while back.

 

Those little clip seal things on packets of cheese. Fuck off.

The entire cheese packaging system needs fucking off.

[Jenson]

I've got a £2 coin stuck in the seat mechanism of my car and can I fuck get it out. Bastard.

[VERBAL DIARRHEA]

I've got a £2 coin stuck in the seat mechanism of my car and can I fuck get it out. Bastard.

That would double the value of some people's cars!

[Champ]

Having your plans for the day messed up by the weather.

I have been reduced to making an assault of the north face of my ironing pile while I wait for this pathetic drizzle to sort itself out

[VladimirIlyich]

That would double the value of some people's cars!

Beat me to it, as this applies to mine in particular.

[Elite]

I've got a £2 coin stuck in the seat mechanism of my car and can I fuck get it out. Bastard.

Rip the car to bits, it might cost you a fair bit of money to get it all fixed but at least you'll have £2 to put towards the cost.

[ZonkoVille77]

Having your plans for the day messed up by the weather.

I have been reduced to making an assault of the north face of my ironing pile while I wait for this pathetic drizzle to sort itself out

It has been so hot for the last week that I'm looking forward to a bit of drizzle.

[Champ]

It has been so hot for the last week that I'm looking forward to a bit of drizzle.

I guess the garden welcomed it. I have found myself looking over enviously at my neighbour's fancy sprinkler

[Captain Turdseye]

I guess the garden welcomed it. I have found myself looking over enviously at my neighbour's fancy sprinkler

Has he got a big one?

[Champ]

Has he got a big one?

Oo, very sexist assumption, CT (ignoring the drift of your reply). My neighbour is a 'she'

[Section_31]

Disabled people in Runcorn. It appears to be a self contained industry. Trident retail park is wall to wall 4x4 cars with blue badges and they get out of them and deploy disabled scooters down ramps like Knight Rider.

 

They then proceed to swarm the shops, traversing aisles that are clearly too narrow for them, knocking shit off and being oblivious to the fact they almost ran over your foot, happy in the fact they had their reversing alarm on so you were given fair warning.

 

They're all well under 50 too and wear Under Armour vests.

[Bjornebye]

Sure it's annoying but you've got to admire the unrelenting work ethic and fight for the cause.

Yeah they do the fuck about ants. Grafters to a man.

[Bjornebye]

Losing a fiver.

I get that. I'd rather lose 100 quid than a fiver. A fucking fiver. Annoying little blue nosed bastards them.

[cloggypop]

I've got a £2 coin stuck in the seat mechanism of my car and can I fuck get it out. Bastard.

Simply add 2 quid onto its eventual resale value

[manwiththestick]

Disabled people in Runcorn. It appears to be a self contained industry. Trident retail park is wall to wall 4x4 cars with blue badges and they get out of them and deploy disabled scooters down ramps like Knight Rider.

 

They then proceed to swarm the shops, traversing aisles that are clearly too narrow for them, knocking shit off and being oblivious to the fact they almost ran over your foot, happy in the fact they had their reversing alarm on so you were given fair warning.

 

They're all well under 50 too and wear Under Armour vests.

Haha, a girl I went school with passed me on one of those scooters on the Trident the other week, she let on and I was honestly stunned and didn't even respond. 40 years old and having to resort to that kind of shit. Talk about giving up.

[Trumo]

Haha, a girl I went school with passed me on one of those scooters on the Trident the other week, she let on and I was honestly stunned and didn't even respond. 40 years old and having to resort to that kind of shit. Talk about giving up.

 

Add 'Blokewithbimmerandazimmer' and this joke writes itself.

[Tony Moanero]

Was flicking through the freeview channels before and saw some craft channel selling stuff for Christmas 2018! I’m not one for complaining about Christmas starting earlier every year, but blow me, that’s taking the piss.

[Jairzinho]

What did you buy, mate?

[Dougie Do'ins]

Places that serve food that have unprotected cutlery in some sort of container on the table so any number of people have had their hands all over the cutlery before it's been used. If your going to put your cutlery in a poncy bucket on the table, at least have the fucking sense to have the handles facing upwards.

[Tony Moanero]

What did you buy, mate?

A custard cream crochet pattern kit.

[sir roger]

Places that serve food that have unprotected cutlery in some sort of container on the table so any number of people have had their hands all over the cutlery before it's been used. If your going to put your cutlery in a poncy bucket on the table, at least have the fucking sense to have the handles facing upwards.

 

I have never been so happy to not like Dry Roasted Peanuts & Bombay Spice than when I read a hygiene check found 12 different strains of urine on some left out on the bar of a pub.