little things that annoy the shit out of you

[Anny Road]

Fuck kia My last job was Audi or BMW, KIA can suck my balls.

[Trumo]

Fuck kia My last job was Audi or BMW, KIA can suck my balls.

 

Kia Oral.

[Anny Road]

[Alan Sex]

Nah, wet wipes are much easier on the arse than paper. I just lash the wipes in a bag, then throw the lot in the wheelie bin.

As long as you pull your trousers up when you get back in.

 

That's a long way to waddle.

[Trumo]

As long as you pull your trousers up when you get back in.

 

That's a long way to waddle.

 

He(th) he(th) he(th)!

[Furmedge]

My lad went flying in town today and has a big cog on his forehead. My missus phones me in work upset and asking if he needs to go the walk in, so I finish work (I work flexi) and tell her I'll take him and she can stay home with the youngest. Gets the walk in at 5pm and seen by triage by 5.10pm. Sound, I thought, this will be done in no time. The triage nurse says she reckons he's okay, just a big lump and she'd be happy sending him home after she does a couple of checks. She's still happy after them but says she'll take a second opinion and ask us to stick around to see someone.

 

7.20pm. Two hours after we were seen, we get a shout to go through. Who's sat in the room? Yep, the same triage nurse and she's the one doing the appointment. She's doing her own second opinion! And within 20 seconds says we can go home.

 

I bet they were fucking pissing themselves when we left the room.

[Elite]

My lad went flying in town today and has a big cog on his forehead. My missus phones me in work upset and asking if he needs to go the walk in, so I finish work (I work flexi) and tell her I'll take him and she can stay home with the youngest. Gets the walk in at 5pm and seen by triage by 5.10pm. Sound, I thought, this will be done in no time. The triage nurse says she reckons he's okay, just a big lump and she'd be happy sending him home after she does a couple of checks. She's still happy after them but says she'll take a second opinion and ask us to stick around to see someone.

 

7.20pm. Two hours after we were seen, we get a shout to go through. Who's sat in the room? Yep, the same triage nurse and she's the one doing the appointment. She's doing her own second opinion! And within 20 seconds says we can go home.

 

I bet they were fucking pissing themselves when we left the room.

Maybe shes schizophrenic?

[Rick Sanchez C-137]

Maybe shes schizophrenic?

 

One can only hope

[Trumo]

My lad went flying in town today and has a big cog on his forehead. My missus phones me in work upset and asking if he needs to go the walk in, so I finish work (I work flexi) and tell her I'll take him and she can stay home with the youngest. Gets the walk in at 5pm and seen by triage by 5.10pm. Sound, I thought, this will be done in no time. The triage nurse says she reckons he's okay, just a big lump and she'd be happy sending him home after she does a couple of checks. She's still happy after them but says she'll take a second opinion and ask us to stick around to see someone.

 

7.20pm. Two hours after we were seen, we get a shout to go through. Who's sat in the room? Yep, the same triage nurse and she's the one doing the appointment. She's doing her own second opinion! And within 20 seconds says we can go home.

 

I bet they were fucking pissing themselves when we left the room.

 

I bet that really grinds your gears.

[General Dryness]

Somebody on tv or radio referring to an amount of money as cool ie "a cool million dollars".

 

What does it even mean? Money is ace, but when I buy something the person being the counter doesn't say "that'll be an ace twenty dollars please ".

[Tony Moanero]

I use a cool box as a wallet.

[General Dryness]

I use a cool box as a wallet.

Yer ma's box is cool.

[Mook]

I've just found out that the one hot bird in my office left abruptly while I was off on holiday last week, not one single grain of eye candy left in the fucking place now.

 

Bummer.

 

And when I say that, I mean I'm actually going to become a bummer, the blokes in here have got nicer arses than the swamp donkeys masquerading as women.

[Champ]

Maybe shes schizophrenic?

People who confuse dissociative identity disorder with schizophrenia

[Champ]

I've just found out that the one hot bird in my office left abruptly while I was off on holiday last week, not one single grain of eye candy left in the fucking place now.

 

Bummer.

 

And when I say that, I mean I'm actually going to become a bummer, the blokes in here have got nicer arses than the swamp donkeys masquerading as women.

I think she was too upset to tell you she was leaving so waited until you were away so she could slip away and avoid one of you saying something you might have regretted

[Mook]

I think she was too upset to tell you she was leaving so waited until you were away so she could slip away and avoid one of you saying something you might have regretted

 

Judging by the tone of her 'leaving drinks' e-mail she sent yesterday afternoon I suspect something sinister might have happened on a night out while I was off.

 

Unfortunately I never speak to anyone at work & I'm not going to her leaving night so I'll probably never know.

 

There was one boy who was taking the stalking her in the kitchen a bit far though, he was probably camped outside her house dressed as a post box & she's decided enough was enough.

[Rick Sanchez C-137]

Judging by the tone of her 'leaving drinks' e-mail she sent yesterday afternoon I suspect something sinister might have happened on a night out while I was off.

 

Unfortunately I never speak to anyone at work & I'm not going to her leaving night so I'll probably never know.

 

There was one boy who was taking the stalking her in the kitchen a bit far though, he was probably camped outside her house dressed as a post box & she's decided enough was enough.

 

Was the postbox costume expensive?

[Mook]

Was the postbox costume expensive?

 

I'm not sure, I made my one myself...

 

[Alan Sex]

I've just found out that the one hot bird in my office left abruptly while I was off on holiday last week, not one single grain of eye candy left in the fucking place now.

 

Bummer.

 

And when I say that, I mean I'm actually going to become a bummer, the blokes in here have got nicer arses than the swamp donkeys masquerading as women.

Are the blokes in the office ok with that, or are you going to need some people to help hold them down?

[Original202]

Guy in the office sniffing all day today. Someone asked him if he wanted a tissue and he said in a completely surprised tone "No, I'm fine, I don't need any". Er, yea ok then. Kids have snotty noses and sniff and wipe their noses on their sleeves, that's fine, it's what they do. But a grown man working in an office? And he constantly clicks his pen as well. Irritating shit.

[Dr Nowt]

Going for a clear-out and the parcel you're waiting for arrives, accompanied by loads of banging on the front door.

 

Little things that annoy the shit back into you.

[Rico1304]

Spanish people's inability to walk like a functioning human.

 

I get the pace of life is slower, etc. I like it, in fact. But fucking hell, if you're an old slow cunt get out of the fucking way. If you're incapable of going five minutes without playing with your phone, occasionally look up. Don't stop in front of the entrance of a shop.

 

Cunt pedestrians.

Are you in Spain?

[Babb'sBurstNad]

Every shop trying to cajole you into taking out a loyalty card. I just want to pay and go, but instead I have to try a variety of different tactics to politely decline, hoping that they'll read through my lukewarm reception to the idea. What I actually want to say is "I don't shop here often, the thought of being a habitual customer in your store depresses me and I don't consider it worth the space in my wallet".

[Rico1304]

Just been offered tickets for the England v Scotland rugby. full corporate do, meet the players, Michelin star restaurant etc etc. Our new director has a policy of no freebies.

[lifetime fan]

Just been offered tickets for the England v Scotland rugby. full corporate do, meet the players, Michelin star restaurant etc etc. Our new director has a policy of no freebies.

 

 

Lie.