little things that annoy the shit out of you

[Rico1304]

Fella in the pub by ours a few years ago was saying he used to be SBS. He had infiltrated this little group of students near us who were hanging off his every word (or just shitting themselves) when my mate who is a marine went over. The fella shut up talking and said he can't discuss his forces past with anyone. They ended up having a bit of an argument and I asked him what the SBS motto was and the daft cunt went "He who dares wins". Later nobhead.

 

Walter Mitty. A mate of mine was in a shit club in Manchester with his mate when they overhead a bloke mouthing off about being in 2 para. Being in 2 para themselves they wandered over. He shit himself and asked them not to hurt him too badly. They let him off.

 

He also sees loads of them at the Rememberence Day parade, wearing medals they couldn't have earned. Weird.

[dickie mint]

Walter Mitty. A mate of mine was in a shit club in Manchester with his mate when they overhead a bloke mouthing off about being in 2 para. Being in 2 para themselves they wandered over. He shit himself and asked them not to hurt him too badly. They let him off.

He also sees loads of them at the Rememberence Day parade, wearing medals they couldn't have earned. Weird.

That Xbox & call of duty have a lot to answere for.

[Dr Nowt]

Fella in the pub by ours a few years ago was saying he used to be SBS. He had infiltrated this little group of students near us who were hanging off his every word (or just shitting themselves) when my mate who is a marine went over. The fella shut up talking and said he can't discuss his forces past with anyone. They ended up having a bit of an argument and I asked him what the SBS motto was and the daft cunt went "He who dares wins". Later nobhead. 

 

Still, it was probably funny when he fell through the bar later on.

[Shitty Arse]

The phenomenon/concept of cunts taking photos of themselves staring into a mirror using their smartphone.

I don't understand it! Why do people do it?

[General Dryness]

The phenomenon/concept of cunts taking photos of themselves staring into a mirror using their smartphone.

I don't understand it! Why do people do it?

It's acceptable when its done by attractive young ladies in the nude.

 

Otherwise it's a cunts trick.

[Rico1304]

The phenomenon/concept of cunts taking photos of themselves staring into a mirror using their smartphone.

I don't understand it! Why do people do it?

Usually in the bogs of some shit club.

[manwiththestick]

Just report them on Facebook, fucking clowns.

[Jose Jones]

What a pile of shit.

 

You do realise that the Armed Forces is not just made up from infantry? There are loads of tradesmen/women who make up the logistical side of things. The majority of people I served with all found decent jobs when leaving, a lot of us had qualifications before joining up. Lastly, the percentage of servicemen/women who have lost limbs is very low compared to the numbers which make up the Armed Forces.

They deliberarely target the poor and desperate and then line them up to get killed in shit wars started by upper class psychopaths.

[VladimirIlyich]

They deliberarely target the poor and desperate and then line them up to get killed in shit wars started by upper class psychopaths.

This is the way its done everywhere though,not just in the UK. The only way to get the youngsters to understand what they are letting themselves in for,both positive and negative,is better education. But thats not gonna happen is it?

[Trumo]

Governments the world over believe an ill-informed public is less dangerous than an informed public.

 

 

EDIT: That's a response to the last few posts, not another suggestion for this thread!

[Dougie Do'ins]

This is the way its done everywhere though,not just in the UK. The only way to get the youngsters to understand what they are letting themselves in for,both positive and negative,is better education. But thats not gonna happen is it?

What is it they need educating on ? I doubt there's a week go by when we're not being informed of what's going on via the news. Then there's the world of information that's available on the internet. They're hardly being led down a blind alley. 

[easytoslip]

That cunt who does the business news on BBC in the morning, moving back and forth to the camera trying to make it look exciting and fun.

Plus the Terrapin faced bird that does the footy on the above.

[VladimirIlyich]

What is it they need educating on ? I doubt there's a week go by when we're not being informed of what's going on via the news. Then there's the world of information that's available on the internet. They're hardly being led down a blind alley.

Better educated people better understand what they are letting themselves in for,yet a lot still choose to join the forces. Go figure.

[Sputnik1]

Low ballers. 

 

Just got a message from a woman on eBay, basically low balling on something I am selling. She's offered me £80 less than than my starting price as cash to save me eBay fees. So not only still lose my eBay fees but also lose an extra £40. 

 

I wouldn't mind but this item is brand new, still wrapped and starting at £110 less than it is to buy new. 

 

Even if they now come back with a reasonable offer I won't take it, I'd rather lose the sale than trade with low ballers, the scum sucking bastards. 

[Trumo]

Low ballers. 

 

Just got a message from a woman on eBay, basically low balling on something I am selling. She's offered me £80 less than than my starting price as cash to save me eBay fees. So not only still lose my eBay fees but also lose an extra £40. 

 

I wouldn't mind but this item is brand new, still wrapped and starting at £110 less than it is to buy new. 

 

Even if they now come back with a reasonable offer I won't take it, I'd rather lose the sale than trade with low ballers, the scum sucking bastards. 

 

Linda P or Ayre's missus?

[Captain Turdseye]

Low ballers.

 

Just got a message from a woman on eBay, basically low balling on something I am selling. She's offered me £80 less than than my starting price as cash to save me eBay fees. So not only still lose my eBay fees but also lose an extra £40.

 

I wouldn't mind but this item is brand new, still wrapped and starting at £110 less than it is to buy new.

 

Even if they now come back with a reasonable offer I won't take it, I'd rather lose the sale than trade with low ballers, the scum sucking bastards.

Could have been worse. You could have been selling it on Facebook.

 

"Will you take £5 for it? And will you deliver to my house today please."

[Duncan Clench]

Could have been worse. You could have been selling it on Facebook.

 

"Will you take £5 for it? And will you deliver to my house today please."

 

Had a good one on Facebook recently where a 'friend' offered me £200 for something I was asking £250 for, and then wondered if I wouldn't mind delivering it to him... which is at least an hour away.

[Rick Sanchez C-137]

My response would have been something along the lines of:

 

Jsbdiwbdiwbdkqbdkabfoabxkamsoelnxkalsbf

[Rick Sanchez C-137]

Then when I'd calmed down I'd have driven the hour and beat him to death with said item.

[Rick Sanchez C-137]

Then punched his mum.

[Mook]

My boss decided to take her annual trip down to the roll shop this morning...

 

Her, "What do you fancy?"

Me, "Bacon roll, brown sauce, thanks.", stupidly assuming it would be that straightforward.

Her, "Crispy bacon?"

Me, "No, just normal bacon."

Her, "So a wee bit crispy then?"

Me, "No, just normal bacon, cheers."

Her, "Ok then, do you want it on a morning roll?"

Me, "Yes please, just a bacon roll with brown sauce."

 

Not only does she have to be a fussy cunt but now she's trying to drag me into her World of shite, next time it's her turn to go down for rolls I'm taking a fucking holiday.

[A Red]

My boss decided to take her annual trip down to the roll shop this morning...

 

Her, "What do you fancy?"

Me, "Bacon roll, brown sauce, thanks.", stupidly assuming it would be that straightforward.

Her, "Crispy bacon?"

Me, "No, just normal bacon."

Her, "So a wee bit crispy then?"

Me, "No, just normal bacon, cheers."

Her, "Ok then, do you want it on a morning roll?"

Me, "Yes please, just a bacon roll with brown sauce."

 

Not only does she have to be a fussy cunt but now she's trying to drag me into her World of shite, next time it's her turn to go down for rolls I'm taking a fucking holiday.

Do they self destruct at lunch time?

[Harry Squatter]

I've got loads of stuff I want to flog on Ebay but the thought of dealing with massive bellends outside of working hours puts me off.

[Mook]

Is 'morning roll' a Scottish thing? If it is, it's just a bog standard white roll you would get out of the bakers, it's what you get your bacon on if you ask for a bacon roll.

 

I'm not sure what other sort of roll she would think I would want, maybe a Peruvian roll, lightly seeded with gingerbread mens tears or something, the fucking twat.

[General Dryness]

Jocks have odd names for food. Neeps and tatties and the like.

 

I went out with a bird who'd moved to the iom from Edinburgh. Every time I went to the chippy, without fail she'd ask me to get her a smoked sausage supper, even though no food emporium on the island had ever served any such thing. Fuckwit. Liked the cock though.