little things that annoy the shit out of you

[bouncebrigade]

When somebody posts "rides" under a picture of their friend(s) on Facebook, Instagram etc.

 

Come here please while I iron your back and then beat you over the head with a hot poker.

[bouncebrigade]

When people refer to rent as "dead money".

 

It's not dead if the alternative is overpaying for a structurally shit, rat infested two bed house.

 

Nothing to do with my own circumstances by the way.

[Mook]

When fat people tell your about their fatness, what the fuck are you meant to say to some fat bastard who is going on about being fat?

 

It's happened to me a couple of times in the last few days & is really akward, ugly people don't stand there discussing their deformity do they.

[A_S]

When fat people tell your about their fatness, what the fuck are you meant to say to some fat bastard who is going on about being fat?

 

It's happened to me a couple of times in the last few days & is really akward, ugly people don't stand there discussing their deformity do they.

 

I was at a theme park once with one of those pirate ship rides that rotate upside down. A mate and I are the only ones in the row of seats, when last minute a friend of a friend who had tagged along, got into our row. She was fucking huge, to the point where her safety harness wouldn't fit, meaning the staff had to get her an extension belt. Upon seeing this, she almost started crying and said 'I'M SO FAT!!' whilst my mate and I were already fastened in our seats and had no choice but to stay right in that fucking awkward moment. 

[Dr Nowt]

It has come to light it was the mortgage brokers fault for putting us forward for a mortgage that we had no chance of getting.

 

The new one we have been speaking to has found us a mortgage to suit our circumstances. So fingers crossed.

 

Had a good one the other day, the mainstream building society offering us a mortgage apparently don't give out offer in principle certificates, so I had to ask our broker to email the estate agent of a place we'd offered on to confirm we'd been awarded the mortgage we said we had. 

 

I sent him a fresh mail with all our previous conversations removed when doing so, as obviously I don't want a third party reading anything other than strictly what they need to, let alone some of which was private correspondence regarding our circumstances. 

 

Didn't insult his intelligence by saying please don't now go back into the other email and copy her into that mail trail, as surely that couldn't be more obviously unprofessional and a complete no-no, but no, he sent her on the old mail including stuff I wouldn't have wanted them to see.

 

Someone outbid us anyway but it's a process fraught with the sort of knobheads you would just never usually want to bother with.  I had an estate agent showing me a shower the other day and saying "This is the shower.  It is useful in the morning if you don't have time for a bath".  Imagine how much of a fool I felt when she pointed out that I was washing my hands in the toilet.

 

Good luck by the way, solidarity and all that.  And you Mook, you child-eating bean-lover.

[Oh Buoy]

People in Leeds are the worst I've encountered in the uk for this. Apart from London, obviously, where every single person just drives like a selfish cunt at all times, regardless.

 

Worked in Leeds for just over 2 years and I can completely agree that Leeds has the highest % of bellend drivers. 

[Skidfingers McGonical]

Had a good one the other day, the mainstream building society offering us a mortgage apparently don't give out offer in principle certificates, so I had to ask our broker to email the estate agent of a place we'd offered on to confirm we'd been awarded the mortgage we said we had.

 

I sent him a fresh mail with all our previous conversations removed when doing so, as obviously I don't want a third party reading anything other than strictly what they need to, let alone some of which was private correspondence regarding our circumstances.

 

Didn't insult his intelligence by saying please don't now go back into the other email and copy her into that mail trail, as surely that couldn't be more obviously unprofessional and a complete no-no, but no, he sent her on the old mail including stuff I wouldn't have wanted them to see.

 

Someone outbid us anyway but it's a process fraught with the sort of knobheads you would just never usually want to bother with. I had an estate agent showing me a shower the other day and saying "This is the shower. It is useful in the morning if you don't have time for a bath". Imagine how much of a fool I felt when she pointed out that I was washing my hands in the toilet.

 

Good luck by the way, solidarity and all that. And you Mook, you child-eating bean-lover.

Cheers mate.

 

 

Had to go cap in hand to the arl fella for an extra amount of cash for our deposit as we can only get an 85% mortgage. But that is still better in the long run and at least puts us in the right position.

 

 

[Trumo]

When fat people tell your about their fatness, what the fuck are you meant to say to some fat bastard who is going on about being fat?

 

It's happened to me a couple of times in the last few days & is really akward, ugly people don't stand there discussing their deformity do they.

 

You're fat, ugly and proud of it?

[Mook]

You're fat, ugly and proud of it?

 

I'm about 10 stone soaking wet.

 

I've nothing against fat people but when they start talking about how fat they are I want to jump out the nearest window, one boy showed me his wife's baby scan the other day & when I said that it wasn't very clear, he started going on about how fat she was. He was fat as well, I mean, what's anyone meant to say to that?

 

"Sorry to hear that your wife's a fat cunt, mate, but at least you're fat as well, the pair of you must eat Greggs out of steak bakes."

[rubble-rouser]

Ahh - steak bakes. I remember being fat and sweaty. 

 

I find that if I exercise and  stop eating crisps and drinking lager for a few days I lose weight. Fat cunts gotta learn. 

[Mook]

Ahh - steak bakes. I remember being fat and sweaty. 

 

I find that if I exercise and  stop eating crisps and drinking lager for a few days I lose weight. Fat cunts gotta learn. 

 

Setting them on fire when they start going on about being fat is also a great way to help them to lose weight quickly.

 

[Champ]

Ahh - steak bakes. I remember being fat and sweaty. 

 

I find that if I exercise and  stop eating crisps and drinking lager for a few days I lose weight. Fat cunts gotta learn.

 

Ah, the reformed fat person.

 

You never were, were you?

[Dr Nowt]

I can well imagine Steve eating himself into oblivion.

 

For some reason the image of him stuffing a banoffee pie away in one mouthful with a tear running down his cheek springs to mind.

[Jairzinho]

My next door neighbour is playing the drums.

 

In his garden.

[Tony Moanero]

When people refer to women as birds.

[Dr Nowt]

A little thing which annoys me would be just realising I used offer three times in one sentence back there.

What a mongoloid.

[Tony Moanero]

My next door neighbour is playing the drums.

 

In his garden.

Throw things over the fence at him.

[rubble-rouser]

I was over 15 stone from about 10 years ago until about 5 years ago. 

 

Not exactly a waif now either. 

[rubble-rouser]

Just received an email from my own IT contractors that required me to right click on the image to view it 'if it is from a trusted source'. Trivially kafka-esque. 

[rubble-rouser]

I can well imagine Steve eating himself into oblivion.

 

For some reason the image of him stuffing a banoffee pie away in one mouthful with a tear running down his cheek springs to mind.

 

Crisps for me, always the crisps. Big bags of M&S steak and onion, washed down with a few ans of bitter. Used to reek when I turned up at Court. 

[Mook]

I was over 15 stone from about 10 years ago until about 5 years ago. 

 

Not exactly a waif now either. 

 

Rubble Rouser (right), pictured in 2007.

 

[Tony Moanero]

I was over 15 stone from about 10 years ago until about 5 years ago.

 

Not exactly a waif now either.

Negged.

 

Just because I can.

[rubble-rouser]

When people refer to women as birds.

 

You ugly feminist!

 

You're right though, the correct collective noun is, ''flange'. 

 

I get annoyed by people referring to them as 'Dorises' though. 

[rubble-rouser]

Rubble Rouser (right), pictured in 2007.

 

 

I like the way you've shoehorned that image into the thread. 

 

'Coxy, Coxy, Coxy Yer hair!' 

[Champ]

What a mongoloid.

Lizzie! This