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little things that annoy the shit out of you


boots123
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I was going to take the wife out for her tea this weekend, so she's been showing me some menus. They are possibly the single most annoying thing I have ever seen. Some examples from just one. Firstly; starters, we all know what that means. So why the fuck do you call it 'beginning'? Because you're a cunt is why. Main, or main course was renamed 'middle', I was tempted to go just so I could kick the tits off someone. 'oven roasted', if it's spit roasted you can say so (probably best you do in fact), roasted on an open fire; let me know. You use an oven??? Well fuck me. And one of my personal favourites 'pulled pork'. I'm sorry, but that just says you lack a basic man skill; you can't carve, so you've either picked at the meat with your shitty fingers, or bought some processed donkey from an east European. And don't even get me started on fucking 'beer battered' and 'sea bass'.We're going to the chippy.

Mrs Bastard is a lucky, lucky woman

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I was going to take the wife out for her tea this weekend, so she's been showing me some menus. They are possibly the single most annoying thing I have ever seen. Some examples from just one. Firstly; starters, we all know what that means. So why the fuck do you call it 'beginning'? Because you're a cunt is why. Main, or main course was renamed 'middle', I was tempted to go just so I could kick the tits off someone. 'oven roasted', if it's spit roasted you can say so (probably best you do in fact), roasted on an open fire; let me know. You use an oven??? Well fuck me. And one of my personal favourites 'pulled pork'. I'm sorry, but that just says you lack a basic man skill; you can't carve, so you've either picked at the meat with your shitty fingers, or bought some processed donkey from an east European. And don't even get me started on fucking 'beer battered' and 'sea bass'.

We're going to the chippy.

 

reminds me of this

 

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People who change their plans at the last minute constantly, putting people out in the process but not giving a flying fuck about anyone but themselves. 

 

Her sister said she would pick us up from gatwick last night before we went away, misses checked with her in the week and she said yeah she still will. Sat outside a restaurant getting pleasantly drunk yesterday afternoon and she messages us to say she has had a stressful day and needs a drink so can we get a cab. Ruined my birds mood straight away because we had to fanny round and stuff. We decided today to do pizzas for tea so we've gone out and got all the stuff for us two her and her fella. Just told us she is going out now. Not offered a penny towards the 80 quid we just wasted getting loads of stuff. Fucking spoilt brat. 

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People who change their plans at the last minute constantly, putting people out in the process but not giving a flying fuck about anyone but themselves. 

 

Her sister said she would pick us up from gatwick last night before we went away, misses checked with her in the week and she said yeah she still will. Sat outside a restaurant getting pleasantly drunk yesterday afternoon and she messages us to say she has had a stressful day and needs a drink so can we get a cab. Ruined my birds mood straight away because we had to fanny round and stuff. We decided today to do pizzas for tea so we've gone out and got all the stuff for us two her and her fella. Just told us she is going out now. Not offered a penny towards the 80 quid we just wasted getting loads of stuff. Fucking spoilt brat.

I've got to ask; how the fuck do you spend 80 quid on a pizza???!!

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When you close Microsoft Office and you get a message saying "You placed a large amount of shite on the Clipboard.  Do you want to keep it?"  (Or something like that.)

 

It doesn't matter if the last thing you copied was one letter or the complete works of Shakespeare - it's always "a large amount".

 

Microsoft can fuck off.  I hope malaria cures Bill Gates.

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I was going to take the wife out for her tea this weekend, so she's been showing me some menus. They are possibly the single most annoying thing I have ever seen. Some examples from just one. Firstly; starters, we all know what that means. So why the fuck do you call it 'beginning'? Because you're a cunt is why. Main, or main course was renamed 'middle', I was tempted to go just so I could kick the tits off someone. 'oven roasted', if it's spit roasted you can say so (probably best you do in fact), roasted on an open fire; let me know. You use an oven??? Well fuck me. And one of my personal favourites 'pulled pork'. I'm sorry, but that just says you lack a basic man skill; you can't carve, so you've either picked at the meat with your shitty fingers, or bought some processed donkey from an east European. And don't even get me started on fucking 'beer battered' and 'sea bass'.

We're going to the chippy.

 

supoib

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I know. Fucking hell Stig. Has Norris McWhirter been informed? England's Biggest Pizza. It's cut by someone riding over it on a unicycle with no tyre on.

Haha!

 

Nah we bought the stuff to make our own plus all the meats and snacks as well and a shit load of drink

 

Ended up on the couch watching live and let die while she fell asleep by 10.

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