Ashes Down Under 2013/14

[A_S]

That's about the sum of it, yeah.

 

Another stat from TMS: this is the first time in the history of the game that one team has set another more than 500 to win in three successive tests.

 

Wow.

[s(k)aturation]

Another stat from TMS: this is the first time in the history of the game that one team has set another more than 500 to win in three successive tests.

 

3 opportunities in a row, to bat 2 days for a draw.

No wonder Boycs is spitting chips.

0-0 after three Tests. It would have been his dream come true.

[A_S]

Pretty incredible this:

 

http://ibnlive.in.com/news/cricketnext/is-this-real-sachin-tendulkar-being-chased-by-clarke-and-cook/439776-78.html

[Vincent Vega]

So 76-3 then, more capitulation from this demoralised England team. This is worse than the 5-0 in 2006/07, at least that team showed a bit of fight and a few players had centuries to their names. Just heard on the radio that George Bailey hit Anderson for a joint world record 28 off the last over, says it all. This is a horror story.

[Frankenhooker]

KP gone after trying to hit it out of the ground... again. Brainless.

[Stickman]

Show pony has gone for 45 playing another shot for himself.....

[Guest Numero Veinticinco]

I don't know much about cricket, but I thought this might be interesting to some cricket fans.

 

[BCM]

Fred Boycott ‏@FredBoycott 35m

Pietersen has street in Surrey named in his honour: pic.twitter.com/FEPqAjy8uz

[Jairzinho]

Bell gone. And with it the 0.0000001% chance of winning or saving the game.

[Jairzinho]

Excellent 50 from Stokes.

[Frankenhooker]

276 to win.

[Josef Svejk]

I haven't seen much of the Ashes this time round. But all indications are that England have been pitiful.

 

16 second innings Australian wickets in three tests. Highest first innings total of 251. Etc.

[Yozzer]

Not even these shower of cunts can run yesterday.

[s(k)aturation]

250 to get.

A hundred from each of these two...

[Johnny Cougar]

I'd terminate Pietersen's contract now, make the cunt pay for his own flight home and never pick him again.

Fucking idiot.

[Jairzinho]

Fancy Pietersen to get a flamboyant hundred in the last test with lots of reverse sweep cover leg paddle drives. The sort of shots that'll have Nasser Hussain masturbating vigorously in commentary. Warne can be the co-commentator, happily gobbling up Nasser's physical ode to the king. Or, you could just have a recording of Warne set on a loop, repeating the phrases, "It's just the way he plays", and, "you have to take the rough with the smooth". Something I've no doubt he'd gladly do. Obviously it'll probably be Rolf Harris opening the bowling in the 5th test, what with it being 4-0, Ashes already won, and the actual Australian cricket team will have been on the piss for about two weeks. Confident in the knowledge that a hastily cobbled together band of celebrity nonces will have more than enough to trounce our gang of mammoth spastics.

[Stickman]

Boycott is right about Pietersen he is a bottler when the going gets tough with no thought of the team, yes you do have to still keep scoring but you have to make sure the percentages are on your side and if they get you out then it's to the type of ball that did for Cook (this time).

He hasn't been out to a decent ball in 6 innings of this series....not the only one mind but he is meant to be the premier batsman.

The whole point of batting in this situatuion is to eat up time, the Aussies are more than happy to let him play his shots as they know he is a walking wicket.....

[lifetime fan]

Fancy Pietersen to get a flamboyant hundred in the last test with lots of reverse sweep cover leg paddle drives. The sort of shots that'll have Nasser Hussain masturbating vigorously in commentary. Warne can be the co-commentator, happily gobbling up Nasser's physical ode to the king. Or, you could just have a recording of Warne set on a loop, repeating the phrases, "It's just the way he plays", and, "you have to take the rough with the smooth". Something I've no doubt he'd gladly do. Obviously it'll probably be Rolf Harris opening the bowling in the 5th test, what with it being 4-0, Ashes already won, and the actual Australian cricket team will have been on the piss for about two weeks. Confident in the knowledge that a hastily cobbled together band of celebrity nonces will have more than enough to trounce our gang of mammoth spastics.

 

But what do you really think?

[Champ]

God knows who it was on the sports report on the Today programme this morning talking about their needing to be a thorough examination of the full batting line-up post series....apart from Pieterson. What? Was he just thinking of sending him straight to The Tower... because I wouldnt have him back in the team

[Stickman]

250 to get.

A hundred from each of these two...

About as likely as it snowing in Perth to save England.......actually I think snow is more likely.

[sir roger]

Even George Fucking Bailey taking the piss now. It most certainly isn't a Wonderful life at present.

[A_S]

I saw a thing on telly last night that not only did England have no centurions in this series thus far, they've only managed a single century partnership.

 

Dave Warner has made nearly half the runs (457) that the six of England's top 7 that have played every game so far have made combined (938).

 

As was the case with Australia during their recent shit run, the batsmen are consistently under-performing, which not only gives the bowlers less runs to defend, it also has the added bonus of giving them less recovery time between innings. Thus, the bowlers are the ones 'rotated' and the batsmen seem to be given far more chances.

 

Bell summed up England's current plight well- they know they can play better. They just aren't. Or being allowed to.

[Jairzinho]

The bowling, although not as bad as the batting, has also been pretty shit as well. Anderson and Swann, probably England's two highest rated bowlers, have been taken apart.

[Son of L8]

Broad is the only English bowler who has come even close to justifying his reputation, or even his place in the side, with his 6/81 from 24 in the first innings at the Gabba. He was also our best bowler at Adelaide and the WACA, but still went for 100 in the process in both matches. To be fair, they've been decent tracks to bat on in all three cases (although you couldn't tell that from our end...), but the performance with the ball hasn't been good enough at all. They shouldn't escape criticism just because the batting has been among the worst I've ever seen.

[Pureblood]

And obviously give TK a central contract.

*like*