Jump to content

Recommended Posts

On 16/07/2021 at 21:49, Mook said:

My missus has just told me she will be furious if I spend £900 on a drum kit and then promptly gone to her bed.

 

I'm not sure whether to be upset or delirious.

I bought a new guitar in April and i wangled it because i got on a klarna "three payments" deal. It softened her up as £100 for three months looks a lot better than £300 in one go. Either that or she's unaware that it ends up being the same amount as paying it off in one go...

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
6 minutes ago, lifetime fan said:


Yes she was. 
 

In the main they like a laugh, a drink, have big tits and enjoy anal. 

That why they’re my type. 
 

I just fucked up and married a money obsessed, lying, manipulative cunt last time. 

Fair play to you mate. What is it about them that makes them like it up t'arse, I wonder?

 

A mystery of the universe to ponder.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
2 hours ago, General Dryness said:

Hang on Col, wasn't the last one a rugby player too? 

 

There may well be a fetish developing there.

He is said to favour the hookers

  • Upvote 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
57 minutes ago, lifetime fan said:


The missus actually plays hooker. 

Yeah I like a bit of role play too

  • Upvote 8

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

She took the girls to her sisters yesterday. I bailed out at the last minute so it’s just me, the boy and the dog at home. They only surface when they want food or drink. 
 

I’ve spent all day watching cricket and napping on the couch. Bliss. No Lego, no Where’s Wally, No Mario Kart, no going to the park, no water fighting. Just three whole days of doing absolutely fuck all. 
 

For my tea last night I had eight pork chops on their own except for salt & pepper seasoning.  We’ve got loads of shit food in (chocolate, cake, crisps) but nothing else really for meals except for a few salad bits. She’s got the car and I can’t be arsed walking to the shop so tonight we’re having calzones and garlic bread from Prezzo (UberEats £15 off voucher) and tomorrow we’re gonna get a Chinese. My plan to shift some timber is going really well. The only thing I had for my dinner earlier was a big bar of Fruit & Nut with a cup of tea. 
 

Gonna have to peel myself off the couch at some point to have a shower, making sure to stay well away from the weighing scales. 

  • Like 1
  • Upvote 11

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
1 minute ago, Captain Turdseye said:

She took the girls to her sisters yesterday. I bailed out at the last minute so it’s just me, the boy and the dog at home. They only surface when they want food or drink. 
 

I’ve spent all day watching cricket and napping on the couch. Bliss. No Lego, no Where’s Wally, No Mario Kart, no going to the park, no water fighting. Just three whole days of doing absolutely fuck all. 
 

For my tea last night I had eight pork chops on their own except for salt & pepper seasoning.  We’ve got loads of shit food in (chocolate, cake, crisps) but nothing else really for meals except for a few salad bits. She’s got the car and I can’t be arsed walking to the shop so tonight we’re having calzones and garlic bread from Prezzo (UberEats £15 off voucher) and tomorrow we’re gonna get a Chinese. My plan to shift some timber is going really well. The only thing I had for my dinner earlier was a big bar of Fruit & Nut with a cup of tea. 
 

Gonna have to peel myself off the couch at some point to have a shower, making sure to stay well away from the weighing scales. 

verbal-verbal-silence.gif

 

You when she face-times you tonight 

  • Upvote 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Just got an email from UberEats. They’ve cancelled my order because Prezzo are too busy. Then offered me £5 off my next order. I did have a £15 voucher which has seemingly vanished along with my calzone. 
 

I was looking forward to that as well. I’m starving here. Bastards. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
19 minutes ago, Captain Turdseye said:

Just got an email from UberEats. They’ve cancelled my order because Prezzo are too busy. Then offered me £5 off my next order. I did have a £15 voucher which has seemingly vanished along with my calzone. 
 

I was looking forward to that as well. I’m starving here. Bastards. 

Nanny state presumptuous bastards, mate. 
 

If you want to be morbidly obese, who are they to attempt an intervention against your will?

  • Upvote 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

At the end of the month my wife and the kids piss off to Ukraine for a week before I join them. A week of serenity at home and a chance to actually socialise has been completely ruined by fucking work making me do standbys shifts for my colleagues off on holiday. A bloody Friday night and then a Sunday day as well therefore ruining the Saturday. Fuming.

  • Upvote 3

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
6 hours ago, Captain Turdseye said:

She took the girls to her sisters yesterday. I bailed out at the last minute so it’s just me, the boy and the dog at home. They only surface when they want food or drink. 
 

I’ve spent all day watching cricket and napping on the couch. Bliss. No Lego, no Where’s Wally, No Mario Kart, no going to the park, no water fighting. Just three whole days of doing absolutely fuck all. 
 

For my tea last night I had eight pork chops on their own except for salt & pepper seasoning.  We’ve got loads of shit food in (chocolate, cake, crisps) but nothing else really for meals except for a few salad bits. She’s got the car and I can’t be arsed walking to the shop so tonight we’re having calzones and garlic bread from Prezzo (UberEats £15 off voucher) and tomorrow we’re gonna get a Chinese. My plan to shift some timber is going really well. The only thing I had for my dinner earlier was a big bar of Fruit & Nut with a cup of tea. 
 

Gonna have to peel myself off the couch at some point to have a shower, making sure to stay well away from the weighing scales. 

She’s going to open the front door, the smell will hit her and at that point I’d advise calling an ambulance.  

  • Upvote 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
7 minutes ago, Captain Turdseye said:

She’s thinking of staying away longer. 
 

7dedd58b997da30b447759c90c3063c3f51f462a

 

I guess I’m gonna have to walk down to Sainsbury’s. 

ff7e744fe6f727f253d3d1d670997a90.gif

 

 

  • Upvote 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

She chose today to go and stay in her dads in Staffordshire for the night with the kid. Had six pints of 6% Franziskaner Royal watching the match and on the Buffalo Trace now with a pizza in the oven. Superb when they fuck off and leave you.   

  • Upvote 5

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

×