Songs that send you into a homicidal rage...

[Sugar Ape 14,363]

He's tainted by the song. Boning him probably made her bald and mental.

[General Dryness 10,035]

He's tainted by the song. Boning him probably made her bald and mental.

 

And he's a fucking Utd supporter. Probably gave her bad hair AIDS.

[Harry Squatter 14,047]

Always take the weather with you by Crowded House. When I lived in Crosby every band that played in any pub there would fucking sing this but would sing it like they were the lead singer out of the Stereophonics. One lad I played footy with had a band and this was his favourite song, I'm sure he sung it twice at every gig he did.

[Dr Nowt 26,208]

Perfectly described. Mind you, they didn't come out of it completely empty handed. The guitarist got to bone Gail Porter before she went all bald and mental. Marrying her was probably a step too far like.

 

Indeed - in that era I would have happily fucked Gail Porter until all her hair fell out.

 

Who would have thought back then that the festival line-ups of today would be in as parlous a state as her barnet is, through domination by similar Radio One type dreary fodder, which is how it seems to me but then that may be the crushing loathing of almost everything once you reach a certain age.

[General Dryness 10,035]

Indeed - in that era I would have happily fucked Gail Porter until all her hair fell out.

 

Who would have thought back then that the festival line-ups of today would be in as parlous a state as her barnet is' date=' through domination by similar Radio One type dreary fodder, which is how it seems to me but then that may be the crushing loathing of almost everything once you reach a certain age.[/quote']

 

Careful. Its a short step to "is that what passes for music these days? We had proper bands when I was a lad."

[Trumo 16,317]

Christmas songs. Fucking awful shite that will be played almost 24/7 between now and January. And at some point, the latest 'Now That's What I Call Christmas' CD will be released, featuring all the same songs as last year, plus this year's X-Factor winner. Slade and Wizzard deserve bad shithouse AIDS.

[General Dryness 10,035]

Christmas songs. Fucking awful shite that will be played almost 24/7 between now and January. And at some point, the latest 'Now That's What I Call Christmas' CD will be released, featuring all the same songs as last year, plus this year's X-Factor winner. Slade and Wizzard deserve bad shithouse AIDS.

 

[YOUTUBE]UoX6ZSFPDpA[/YOUTUBE]

[Dr Nowt 26,208]

Careful. Its a short step to "is that what passes for music these days? We had proper bands when I was a lad."

 

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[Skidfingers McGonical 3,513]

Bryan Adams, any Bryan Adams now and it is all to do with that cunting song "Everything I do" ruining my early teens. If a lad did not have this in his collection, the fitties didn't want to know. I had to play nervous with the less than fit. And the other thing that grates about that particular song, is cunts have it as their wedding song because of once being teenage lovers and struggling to do your birds bra off while that was playing. Get the fuck out of here.

 

Slade – So Here It Is Merry Christmas. Just shit off you shitting shit sidied Brummie twat.

Rhianna – Umbrella, or anything by this turgid repetitive boring “artist” I am sorry but her music (as catchy as some of it is) is fucking dog turd.

 

Beyonce – All the Single Ladies. Just because it makes all the fatties in dresses that are clearly for women or fellas that are 8 sizes smaller, thinking they can dance the routine when your out anywhere. Never mind putting a ring on it, I will be putting my first clearly into your face. (I do not condone violence against woman)

 

Anything by Mumford And Sons – Just shit, shit, shit off out of the earth’s atmosphere please.

 

Any shit reggae chart tune from the 90’s. Pato Banton I am looking right at you with Chaka Demus and Pliers and that blert Shaggy.

 

Anything that Simon Cowell has had his horribly grubby mitts on.

 

Anything by Celine Dion. I refuse to acknowledge any song by it it’s name other than the words shit and a number in ranking order i.e. shit#1

 

The Proclaimers – 500 Miles. I have over time become to hate songs that make people think they have to drag you onto a table to scream out the repetitive boring lyrics at the top of your voice in order to show you are having a good time. I will throw you 500 yards across the room if you try that again. I don’t hate the Procalimers though, just that song because of other people.

James – Sit Down. See above but swap table for sitting on the alcohol drench floor in some sort of conga style swaying from side to side. Fuck off thank you.

 

Oasis “D’Ya Kow What I Mean” – ARGH! When Liam started sounding even more nasally than he had done before.

“D’Ya Know Worra I Meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeannn YEAH YEAH”

That was the downfall of my relationship with Oasis for me personally. Still, Noel wrote some cracking belters (Importance f Being Idle being one example) after it but the damage was done with this shite.

 

Oh wait, hang on, fucking ‘Wonderwall’ as well. Absolutely hate this. Shittest love song ever. But Mike Flowers & The Pops did it some justice with their version.

 

Michael Bolton, Michael Buble, Matt Cardle (See Simon Cowell) Skrillex, any new British next big thing i.e. NDubz. And this term Urban music does my tits in as well. Argh!

[neko 2,350]

Bryan Adams, any Bryan Adams now and it is all to do with that cunting song "Everything I do" ruining my early teens. If a lad did not have this in his collection, the fitties didn't want to know. I had to play nervous with the less than fit. And the other thing that grates about that particular song, is cunts have it as their wedding song because of once being teenage lovers and struggling to do your birds bra off while that was playing. Get the fuck out of here.

 

Slade – So Here It Is Merry Christmas. Just shit off you shitting shit sidied Brummie twat.

Rhianna – Umbrella, or anything by this turgid repetitive boring “artist” I am sorry but her music (as catchy as some of it is) is fucking dog turd.

 

Beyonce – All the Single Ladies. Just because it makes all the fatties in dresses that are clearly for women or fellas that are 8 sizes smaller, thinking they can dance the routine when your out anywhere. Never mind putting a ring on it, I will be putting my first clearly into your face. (I do not condone violence against woman)

 

Anything by Mumford And Sons – Just shit, shit, shit off out of the earth’s atmosphere please.

 

Any shit reggae chart tune from the 90’s. Pato Banton I am looking right at you with Chaka Demus and Pliers and that blert Shaggy.

 

Anything that Simon Cowell has had his horribly grubby mitts on.

 

Anything by Celine Dion. I refuse to acknowledge any song by it it’s name other than the words shit and a number in ranking order i.e. shit#1

 

The Proclaimers – 500 Miles. I have over time become to hate songs that make people think they have to drag you onto a table to scream out the repetitive boring lyrics at the top of your voice in order to show you are having a good time. I will throw you 500 yards across the room if you try that again. I don’t hate the Procalimers though, just that song because of other people.

James – Sit Down. See above but swap table for sitting on the alcohol drench floor in some sort of conga style swaying from side to side. Fuck off thank you.

 

Oasis “D’Ya Kow What I Mean” – ARGH! When Liam started sounding even more nasally than he had done before.

“D’Ya Know Worra I Meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeannn YEAH YEAH”

That was the downfall of my relationship with Oasis for me personally. Still, Noel wrote some cracking belters (Importance f Being Idle being one example) after it but the damage was done with this shite.

 

Oh wait, hang on, fucking ‘Wonderwall’ as well. Absolutely hate this. Shittest love song ever. But Mike Flowers & The Pops did it some justice with their version.

 

Michael Bolton, Michael Buble, Matt Cardle (See Simon Cowell) Skrillex, any new British next big thing i.e. NDubz. And this term Urban music does my tits in as well. Argh!

 

No court of law could find you guilty of murder with evidence like that.

 

I particularly feel your pain with the Canadian 'talent', as we get overloaded with Bryan Adams here. Thankfully, Celine Dion is reviled as much in Canada as anywhere, and is ignored as much as possible.

[Bjornebye 34,241]

blurred lines. die from A TRAIN UP THE ARSE WITHOUT LUBE.

[KMD7 9,574]

Anything by Bon Jovi or Def Leppard makes me vomit blood and desire to KILL.

 

you can't hide away from beauty like this mate

 

[YOUTUBE]2uIJ7NYZ5NA[/YOUTUBE]

 

[YOUTUBE]NM0jByUkv4g[/YOUTUBE]

[Redder Lurtz 3,264]

Most modern mainstream stuff. And almost everything by Paramore.

[RedBrian84 10]

When A Child Is Born by Johnny Mathis

Anything by that bellend Kesha. Her voice goes through me.

[easytoslip 1,210]

The song off the body guard is pretty painful as is still bleeding ?and everything that comes out of x factor and the likes , warbling cunts feigning vulnerability . Too many to mention.

[ph245 29]

I really... and I mean really... hate that You Can Call Me Al song by Paul Simon.

And that fuckin Don't Worry Be Happy one.

Another one that grips my shit is Dry Your Eyes Mate.

[General Dryness 10,035]

I really... and I mean really... hate that You Can Call Me Al song by Paul Simon.

And that fuckin Don't Worry Be Happy one.

Another one that grips my shit is Dry Your Eyes Mate.

 

Argh, Graceland is one of my favourite albums. Thats not one of the best songs on there, but it gets a bye for the quality around it, particularly the bass playing. Concentrate on the bass on this one. Fantastic stuff.

 

[YOUTUBE]uf4YyXVoWeA[/YOUTUBE]

[Adebisi 782]

Blur were obviously miles better than Oasis. Coxon can do things with a guitar them Gallagher goons could only dream of and they were obviously jealous of Damon's way with the ladies, the little dream boat

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[Dr Nowt 26,208]

'I Will Survive.'

 

You're neither a strong independent woman, nor being original by throwing a "Just Divorced" party and stomping around like a tanked up behemoth to this utter fucking rubbish, while talking about how small your ex-husband's dick is. Shit off.

 

Signed, your ex-husband.

[Flying Pig 58]

 

Can't hate this as it just reminds me of this

 

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Vienna by Ultravox and anything New Romaticish will put me in a killing mood.

 

You're just weird. I met Ultravox in the 80's and gave them my autograph.

[piscinin 4]

The Love Cats - Cure - The sound of the abyss gazing back into you.

[Paulie Dangerously 7,598]

Anything from the Chilli Peppers' Californication album. The first example I ever saw of a good album being PLAYED TO DEATH. I never want to hear it again

[Paulie Dangerously 7,598]

Also that famous sad one by that cackling whale Adele

[Guest Slim(fast)Shady]

Loveshack by B52's

REM...shiny happy people

Come on feel the noise..Slade

Anything by Eurythmics!

[Trumo 16,317]

'Animals' by Martin Garrix. I didn't mind it that much at first, but now it's used everywhere and attracts dickheads who watch reality TV and wear shit like this: