Jump to content
  • Sign up for free and receive a month's subscription

    You are viewing this page as a guest. That means you are either a member who has not logged in, or you have not yet registered with us. Signing up for an account only takes a minute and it means you will no longer see this annoying box! It will also allow you to get involved with our friendly(ish!) community and take part in the discussions on our forums. And because we're feeling generous, if you sign up for a free account we will give you a month's free trial access to our subscriber only content with no obligation to commit. Register an account and then send a private message to @dave u and he'll hook you up with a subscription.

Songs that send you into a homicidal rage...


neko
 Share

Recommended Posts

Always take the weather with you by Crowded House. When I lived in Crosby every band that played in any pub there would fucking sing this but would sing it like they were the lead singer out of the Stereophonics. One lad I played footy with had a band and this was his favourite song, I'm sure he sung it twice at every gig he did.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Perfectly described. Mind you, they didn't come out of it completely empty handed. The guitarist got to bone Gail Porter before she went all bald and mental. Marrying her was probably a step too far like.

 

Indeed - in that era I would have happily fucked Gail Porter until all her hair fell out.

 

Who would have thought back then that the festival line-ups of today would be in as parlous a state as her barnet is, through domination by similar Radio One type dreary fodder, which is how it seems to me but then that may be the crushing loathing of almost everything once you reach a certain age.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Indeed - in that era I would have happily fucked Gail Porter until all her hair fell out.

 

Who would have thought back then that the festival line-ups of today would be in as parlous a state as her barnet is' date=' through domination by similar Radio One type dreary fodder, which is how it seems to me but then that may be the crushing loathing of almost everything once you reach a certain age.[/quote']

 

Careful. Its a short step to "is that what passes for music these days? We had proper bands when I was a lad."

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Christmas songs. Fucking awful shite that will be played almost 24/7 between now and January. And at some point, the latest 'Now That's What I Call Christmas' CD will be released, featuring all the same songs as last year, plus this year's X-Factor winner. Slade and Wizzard deserve bad shithouse AIDS.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Christmas songs. Fucking awful shite that will be played almost 24/7 between now and January. And at some point, the latest 'Now That's What I Call Christmas' CD will be released, featuring all the same songs as last year, plus this year's X-Factor winner. Slade and Wizzard deserve bad shithouse AIDS.

 

[YOUTUBE]UoX6ZSFPDpA[/YOUTUBE]

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Bryan Adams, any Bryan Adams now and it is all to do with that cunting song "Everything I do" ruining my early teens. If a lad did not have this in his collection, the fitties didn't want to know. I had to play nervous with the less than fit. And the other thing that grates about that particular song, is cunts have it as their wedding song because of once being teenage lovers and struggling to do your birds bra off while that was playing. Get the fuck out of here.

 

Slade – So Here It Is Merry Christmas. Just shit off you shitting shit sidied Brummie twat.

Rhianna – Umbrella, or anything by this turgid repetitive boring “artist” I am sorry but her music (as catchy as some of it is) is fucking dog turd.

 

Beyonce – All the Single Ladies. Just because it makes all the fatties in dresses that are clearly for women or fellas that are 8 sizes smaller, thinking they can dance the routine when your out anywhere. Never mind putting a ring on it, I will be putting my first clearly into your face. (I do not condone violence against woman)

 

Anything by Mumford And Sons – Just shit, shit, shit off out of the earth’s atmosphere please.

 

Any shit reggae chart tune from the 90’s. Pato Banton I am looking right at you with Chaka Demus and Pliers and that blert Shaggy.

 

Anything that Simon Cowell has had his horribly grubby mitts on.

 

Anything by Celine Dion. I refuse to acknowledge any song by it it’s name other than the words shit and a number in ranking order i.e. shit#1

 

The Proclaimers – 500 Miles. I have over time become to hate songs that make people think they have to drag you onto a table to scream out the repetitive boring lyrics at the top of your voice in order to show you are having a good time. I will throw you 500 yards across the room if you try that again. I don’t hate the Procalimers though, just that song because of other people.

James – Sit Down. See above but swap table for sitting on the alcohol drench floor in some sort of conga style swaying from side to side. Fuck off thank you.

 

Oasis “D’Ya Kow What I Mean” – ARGH! When Liam started sounding even more nasally than he had done before.

“D’Ya Know Worra I Meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeannn YEAH YEAH”

That was the downfall of my relationship with Oasis for me personally. Still, Noel wrote some cracking belters (Importance f Being Idle being one example) after it but the damage was done with this shite.

 

Oh wait, hang on, fucking ‘Wonderwall’ as well. Absolutely hate this. Shittest love song ever. But Mike Flowers & The Pops did it some justice with their version.

 

Michael Bolton, Michael Buble, Matt Cardle (See Simon Cowell) Skrillex, any new British next big thing i.e. NDubz. And this term Urban music does my tits in as well. Argh!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Bryan Adams, any Bryan Adams now and it is all to do with that cunting song "Everything I do" ruining my early teens. If a lad did not have this in his collection, the fitties didn't want to know. I had to play nervous with the less than fit. And the other thing that grates about that particular song, is cunts have it as their wedding song because of once being teenage lovers and struggling to do your birds bra off while that was playing. Get the fuck out of here.

 

Slade – So Here It Is Merry Christmas. Just shit off you shitting shit sidied Brummie twat.

Rhianna – Umbrella, or anything by this turgid repetitive boring “artist” I am sorry but her music (as catchy as some of it is) is fucking dog turd.

 

Beyonce – All the Single Ladies. Just because it makes all the fatties in dresses that are clearly for women or fellas that are 8 sizes smaller, thinking they can dance the routine when your out anywhere. Never mind putting a ring on it, I will be putting my first clearly into your face. (I do not condone violence against woman)

 

Anything by Mumford And Sons – Just shit, shit, shit off out of the earth’s atmosphere please.

 

Any shit reggae chart tune from the 90’s. Pato Banton I am looking right at you with Chaka Demus and Pliers and that blert Shaggy.

 

Anything that Simon Cowell has had his horribly grubby mitts on.

 

Anything by Celine Dion. I refuse to acknowledge any song by it it’s name other than the words shit and a number in ranking order i.e. shit#1

 

The Proclaimers – 500 Miles. I have over time become to hate songs that make people think they have to drag you onto a table to scream out the repetitive boring lyrics at the top of your voice in order to show you are having a good time. I will throw you 500 yards across the room if you try that again. I don’t hate the Procalimers though, just that song because of other people.

James – Sit Down. See above but swap table for sitting on the alcohol drench floor in some sort of conga style swaying from side to side. Fuck off thank you.

 

Oasis “D’Ya Kow What I Mean” – ARGH! When Liam started sounding even more nasally than he had done before.

“D’Ya Know Worra I Meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeannn YEAH YEAH”

That was the downfall of my relationship with Oasis for me personally. Still, Noel wrote some cracking belters (Importance f Being Idle being one example) after it but the damage was done with this shite.

 

Oh wait, hang on, fucking ‘Wonderwall’ as well. Absolutely hate this. Shittest love song ever. But Mike Flowers & The Pops did it some justice with their version.

 

Michael Bolton, Michael Buble, Matt Cardle (See Simon Cowell) Skrillex, any new British next big thing i.e. NDubz. And this term Urban music does my tits in as well. Argh!

 

No court of law could find you guilty of murder with evidence like that.

 

I particularly feel your pain with the Canadian 'talent', as we get overloaded with Bryan Adams here. Thankfully, Celine Dion is reviled as much in Canada as anywhere, and is ignored as much as possible.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I really... and I mean really... hate that You Can Call Me Al song by Paul Simon.

And that fuckin Don't Worry Be Happy one.

Another one that grips my shit is Dry Your Eyes Mate.

 

Argh, Graceland is one of my favourite albums. Thats not one of the best songs on there, but it gets a bye for the quality around it, particularly the bass playing. Concentrate on the bass on this one. Fantastic stuff.

 

[YOUTUBE]uf4YyXVoWeA[/YOUTUBE]

Link to comment
Share on other sites

'I Will Survive.'

 

You're neither a strong independent woman, nor being original by throwing a "Just Divorced" party and stomping around like a tanked up behemoth to this utter fucking rubbish, while talking about how small your ex-husband's dick is. Shit off.

 

Signed, your ex-husband.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 5 months later...

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

 Share


×
×
  • Create New...