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Surreal (sexual) propositions

chauncey

By chauncey,
in GF - General Forum

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Clowes
Clowes

Ok This sounds like good fun. :-)   About 6 years ago I was working with a girl about 10 years younger than myself. We got on really well and eventually started flirting with each other. This came t

Remmie
Remmie

Here's one I posted earlier:  

Nunavut Patrick
Nunavut Patrick

Another two: Scottish pedant.

Anubis Grand Master

Anubis

Posted
Posted
I do a lot of freelance work had loads on this week with a deadline looming and an hellaciously ropey internet connection in my flat to compound matters. With this in mind I headed to the shit-hot new Central Library on Thursday afternoon for some peace and quiet and fast wireless.

 

It was pretty quiet given the weather and I had one of these bad boys (but on the secluded external wall behind shelves of books) all to myself. Anyway I'm working away for a couple of hours - no headphones, with it being so tranquil - until one moment someone sits in the seat right next to me. A quick glance to my left reavealed it was a young black girl in a school uniform and she reached over to some discarded books which were by her seat and asked if I was using them. "No go ahead," I reply.

 

Now, it wasn't until she sat down in the seat right next to me that I noticed she was holding her blazer and her school blouse was completely undone and her bra pulled down to her belly button: I could see a fat left tit in all its pert glory.

 

In the course of a couple of seconds I watched out of the corner of my eye as she reached behind her head with both hands (exposing both boobs), pulled out a bobble and flung it towards my laptop. Holy shit!

 

I'm not going to lie, I stiffened up in all senses as I could see where this was headed. I ignored her for a few moments whilst she flicked through the books in front of her and said "There are no nudes in this book. I'm studying art at college and need to draw nudes". She sat there until I turned and said she should cover herself up - by this point she was reclining and her legs were facing me, fully open. She said she was from Uganda and when it was hot all girls in her country went round like this. To my shame, I said this isn't Uganda and it might offend some people her showing her tits off to strangers. She was in a school uniform after all.*

 

Now, this is going to sound like even more bullshit but she said they watched a film on sex education in college that day and she was feeling really horny (but tried to qualify it by saying she doesn't go with a lot of boys). What the fuck can I say or do to that?

 

What I did was tell her to cover up and let me get on with my work... there was a female library attendant looming about twenty yards away and - though it was never my intention to take this girl into the nearby toilets and smash her senseless, like she blatantly wanted me to - it hastened the outcome. She crossed her legs, slowly and deliberately buttoned her blouse back up all the time complaining that she was covering her best feature (no arguments there) and asking if I wanted to look at porn (damn right).

 

She fucked off to the next floor up and - after waiting for my rock-on to becalm - I packed my shit up quicksnap to go outside and get right on the phone to tell whoever I could about what just happened. The consensus amongst my mates is that even though she had a cracking body and it would have been another ethnicity off the to-do list - I did the right thing in not even having a little fumble in the bogs. Bit gay?

 

What says the GF? :whistle:

 

 

*she could sense my unease and said she had been kept back a year and was 17, despite the uniform. It was one of those where the tits suggested she might have well been her stated age, but the uniform knocked a couple of years off.

 

 

If you'd have bitten (no pun intended) you'd have been accosted by some big black dude waving photos of you fucking an underage girl in school uniform and threatening to go to the police unless you pay up. Every week.

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Remmie Grand Master

Remmie

Posted
Posted

Here's one I posted earlier:

 

The first time I ever went travelling on my own was to Italy, after the 2006 World cup where I'd spent 3 weeks in Germany with 2 friends. The first new friends I made were a Brazilian guy and a Mexican guy sharing my dorm at a Hostel. I knew the area having travelled there before, Genoa. I recommended going to one of the most amazing places I've ever been - Cinqueterra. Ideally you take a bird there - really scenic and beautiful - 5 villages cut into a cliff face and you can write your names in a section of a walk called Lovers Lane. Nonetheless it was still a great place to go so off we were to set out in the morning.

 

The next day Mexican went off somewhere else with friends never to be seen again. Went with Brazilian fella and spent a nice day in the scorching sun in Cinqueterra. A few odd things came up in conversation, but I put it all down to cultural differences. He was a very generous guy and bought me loads of drinks and offered to pay for a hotel in Cinqueterra instead of the hostel. I politely rebuffed his offer as I prefer hostels and it was a bit of a backwater to get to and from for my journey. We went swimming and afterwards he was complaining about his shorts chaffing and next time we should skinny dip. I said I don't think that's appropriate in Italy, there are kids about. He said it's ok we'll go somewhere secluded. We didn't go somewhere secluded.

 

Fast forward and we get back to the hostel, the previous night had been full but this night only me and him. Fucking hot so in bed in my boxers, he is butt naked under his sheet and chooses this time to say: The reason I do not have girlfriend is I like Men. Ideally I'd have a man and a woman at the same time.

 

With brilliant tact I reposte ideally I'd have 2 women at once. He woke me up at 5.30am looking at me like no man has ever and hopefully never will look at me again and then said.....

 

 

Can I Kiss your Penis?

 

 

I said no. He rolled over and I saw his shoulder going like a Jackhammer. Yes, he was having a wank.

 

No I didn't get the 1 billion clues he gave me, well I got the one about fucking men and wanting to kiss my penis, but none before that.

 

End.

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Unrighteous Grand Master

Unrighteous

Posted
Posted
It's frightening the amount of vadge I've turned down over the years, to the point my mates used to call me a gay. Never thought anything of it as there was always another option, now as I'm pushing 40 I don't quite cry myself to sleep over missed opportunity, but its in the forefront of my mind.

 

Take heed young people.

 

Yeah, but a fella's backdoor isn't exactly 'another option', to most of us...

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