Movie and TV dialogue that pisses you off

[RedinSweden]

All lines in The Expendables. The most cliche ridden script I have ever heard.

[sir roger]

The Mrs loves them Agatha Christie things & I go ballistic over the denouments ( sp ? ).

 

Miss Marple Or Poirot will come up with the most tenuous, unproveable load of cobblers you can imagine & instead of pissing themselves laughing, the supposed murderer either tries to run through about 20 coppers shouting their guilt or breaks down, confesses & blames the lack of sherbet dib-dabs as a child or some other bollocks.

Edited July 3, 2013 by sir roger

[RedinSweden]

The Mrs loves them Agatha Christie things & I go ballistic over the denouments ( sp ? ).

 

Miss Marple Or Poirot will come up with the most tenuous, unproveable load of cobblers you can imagine & instead of pissing themselves laughing, the supposed murderer either tries to run through about 20 coppers shouting their guilt or breaks down, confesses & blames the lack of sherbet dib-dabs as a child or some other bollocks.

 

I love Agatha Christie stuff, Marple and Poirot. It's ace.

[sir roger]

I love Agatha Christie stuff, Marple and Poirot. It's ace.

 

I just live for the day that I am half-watching one on tv & hear a suspect says to Marple, 'OK, prove it in court you nosey old bint'.

[RedinSweden]

I just live for the day that I am half-watching one on tv & hear a suspect says to Marple, 'OK, prove it in court you nosey old bint'.

 

They should do a modern version.

 

marple turns up at a crime scene and the officer in charge says "Get out, you interfering slag"

[TheResonator]

No specific bit of dialogue, but I hate the scene in 'one-guy-against-the-odds' action films where they inevitably find out that the protagonist is ex navy seals, or ex-sas, or ex-green berets. There's a hushed silence, and then some spanner in the background will say something stupid like 'he's got medals up the wazoo!' or 'he's had more commendations than my wife's had dicks.' It literally happens in every one of these sorts of films and it's got to stop.

[Kevin D]

Since we've widened the scope, it really makes me wince when Character A has a gun on Character B and character B is demanding that Character A shoot him. It usually involves some contrived shite about wanting to die, or because Character A is "not a killer". It was sound when Mel Gibson did it in Lethal Weapon, but since then, it makes me want to throw something at the screen.

 

My own TV screen. How fucking pointless would that be?

[bonesman]

"What does that even mean"

Oh and

"Who does that"

[Fowlers God]

The delicate sound of damp balls slapping against a ladies..... marse? farse? Whats the equivalent of a ladies barse? Chinrest?

It probably doesn't have a name. You could be the first to name it. Get it done.

beavertail

verb; the action of having a man's testicles hit the back of a woman during intercourse.

John had to stop because he hurt his balls with the beavertail on mary.

 

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=balls%20slapping%20during%20sex

[jonnybastard]

"give us a song". I hate singing in films, fucks it right up. And more than that, I fucking hate musicals, they're just fucked up full stop.

Except Bugsy Malone, that's ace.

[Garrincha]

Sometimes lines can be so bad there actually genius, case in point.

 

[YOUTUBE]sKqgC_BR_pA[/YOUTUBE]

[Bjornebye]

"here goes nothing"

 

what does that even fucking mean?

[AngryOfTuebrook]

I despise the bits of clunky dialogue that are used early in films to explain the set-up:

 

"Look Jake, you're my brother-in-law and we've not always seen eye-to-eye, but we've got to stick together, or the McBollocks organisation will take over the whole damn business."

 

Just watch Monsters Inc. It's set in a world inhabited by monsters, powered by children's screams and accessed through portals in children's wardrobes. And they manage to avoid any "explaining the set-up" dialogue: they just trust in the intelligence of their audience. And it's a fucking kid's film.

 

Everyone else in Hollywood thinks you are stupider than a child.

[Remmie]

Having to explain simple stuff to a stupid (usually American) audience. From Goodwill Hunting:

 

Will : I think you're about one step away from cuttin' your fuckin' ear off.

 

Sean : Really? Oh, yeah. Think I should move to the south of France, change my name to "Vincent"?

[Red Dawn]

That whole Friends thing where they try sarcasm and stress the word "Be"

 

Could i "be" anymore happier at this point

Could i "be" anymore depressed at this point

Could i "be" anymore hungrier at this point

Could i "be" anymore alone at this point

 

Fuck off.

[Kevin D]

"I know you better than you know yourself"

[PestiRed]

"Its a long shot.... but"

 

Its going to fucking work isnt it

 

Terry Pratchett's Guards, Guards when they spend ages on how to work out if it's exactly a million-to-one chance because that's the only way it will work.

999,999 or 1,000,001 to 1 is no good. Had me in stitches

[Kevin D]

"I never meant to hurt you"

[Fink]

In Die Hard - Rickman tells his cronies to shoot the windows, they dont understand so he explains it to them in English...fucking crackers. Annoys me every time I hear it to the point where I now walk out the room.

[jonnybastard]

"come with", from 'the shield'. Started around series three and used constantly thereafter. Made me cringe worse than linedancing.

[Sandman]

You got balls, I'll give you that.

 

This is popping up with alarming regularity.

[Moctezuma]

Pretty much anything that is too zippy to really be the reality of life irritates, this seems to be particularly prevalent in British and American crime drama. I would speculate the fact this isn't the case in Scandinavian television is one reason why people like it i.e. that the characters feel more real because they're not talking like a professional comic has given them a script of one liners every day of their life.

 

Agree with the Agatha Christy chat up thread. Why you'd just sit there when Mrs Marple is warbling on about how you committed X,Y,Z rather than either A) Walking away B) Retorting with "I'll see if that stands up in court line" or C) if you are of a slightly psychotic nature* smacking a brick off her head.

 

*which given the fact you've just knocked off a heap of people could well be the case.

[Stu Monty]

Pretty much anything that is too zippy to really be the reality of life irritates, this seems to be particularly prevalent in British and American crime drama. I would speculate the fact this isn't the case in Scandinavian television is one reason why people like it i.e. that the characters feel more real because they're not talking like a professional comic has given them a script of one liners every day of their life.

 

Agree with the Agatha Christy chat up thread. Why you'd just sit there when Mrs Marple is warbling on about how you committed X,Y,Z rather than either A) Walking away B) Retorting with "I'll see if that stands up in court line" or C) if you are of a slightly psychotic nature* smacking a brick off her head.

 

*which given the fact you've just knocked off a heap of people could well be the case.

 

Aaron Sorkin stuff then.

 

Not really a dialogue thing but inconsistency in fight scenes really taken me out of the moment. For instance, when someone can take a five minute pounding if it suits then gets knocked out with a punch later on. Or, in Iron Man, when a human being with half a metal suit left on him can apparently smash through solid objects and still be chipper.

[Kevin D]

"Why are you all just standing there? My Daughter/Son is missing. You should be out there looking for her/him. Don't tell me to calm down."

 

"If _______ happens, then that's on you/ blood is on your hands. "

[Josef Svejk]

"I'm so [not]" such-and-such. "I'm so over him", "I'm so not going there", etc.

 

Friends-talk, as I call it. Worst of all, people - especially women of a certain social class in Dublin, for example - started saying it all the fucking time.

 

Fuck off, bitches. You're "so not cast members on an American fucking television 'show'".