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I also got my housemate bad. I changed his profile pic to jimmy saville, messaged a few girls who were still in school and then sent filthy messages to girls who we go uni with and on our course. Forgot he had his whole family including grandma on Facebook though

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Call the nearest airport off his phone and say you have left a bomb in the johnny machine in arrivals. Then hang up and put it back in his drawer. Then shit in it and close it.

 

That'll learn him

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Have the motherfucker deported.

 

An extension of this would be to steal his phone, open Facebook and throw his phone in front of the next boat race. Then we can have Facebook deported.

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Been up all night plotting this mate.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Shit in his draw.

...then rub his nose in it while slapping him with a rolled up newspaper.

Tough love, oh yeah!

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Move his phone one inch to the left. He'll wonder how the hell that happened when he returns.

 

There have been some mental suggestions on this thread but that is just fucking evil!

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Fill the inner walls of his family home with Asbestos, this is more of an investment than an imediate retalliation. When a person inhales or accidently swallows asbestos fibers, there is no immediate reaction as with toxins that are usually referred to as poisons; in fact, if you were to swallow or inhale asbestos fibers you probably wouldn’t notice. Hopefully this will happen to his entire family, and visiting friends. They are invisible to the human eye and light enough to stay afloat in a cloud of dust for a long period. Asbestos fibers become lodged in the human body which cannot shed them through natural methods. It's a very aggressive illness and incredibly difficult to cure, it may take 30 years but it could potentially impact everyone around him, when it does he'll definitely regret the fraping. You'll probably be able to have a good laugh about it aswell afterwards, he'll hold his hands up and say 'you've done me there' and call it quits.

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If you can get his phone and on Facebook as mentioned before just befriend tons of random friends, preferably loads of Nigerians who will constantly pester him for money or even hack into his account.

 

If he is friends with any birds, particularly any you work with, make him look like a stalker by liking every single one of their photos or leave sleazy but subtle comments such as "this dress/top/skirt is like one you wore last Monday" rather than saying "I want to shag you" as this looks a bit more obvious that someone got a grip of his phone. The women in work will avoid him as they'll think he's a big sex pest who has been eyeing themnup for a long time or even report him to the manager. Failing that they may have jealous sted head boyfriends who will wait for him and fill him in after work.

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Failing that, jizz on his phone and put it back in the drawe or shove it up your arse for a bit then put it back all smelly, just make sure no one rings him while it's up your arse.

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