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Kevin D

Conventional things you find strange.

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Men who wanna stick their knob up a girl's bumhole when theres a perfectly good presumably moist fanny right next to it, why?

 

After a couple of kids its like shagging a Cyclops eye so maybe its a way of remembering good times past?

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+1 on that. Music is great when you're in the mood, which is about 1% of the time.

 

Especially baffling to me are those people who pay 200 quid to stand in cow shit for three days and listen to a load of average bands. Folks, you do know that all those songs are available on CD and MP3, yeah? Plus the sound quality is much better, and some pikey probably won't nick all your shit if you're listening to it at home.

 

Should add one of my own: leaving the toilet seat down. 99% of people do this. Why? For fuck's sake leave the seat UP. When I eventually come to need a shit, I don't want to be sitting in your fucking piss.

 

Amen.

 

Some bird in the barber's said she paid 90 quid to see Rhianna at the MEN the other day, 90 fucking quid to see a bobbing head about six miles away - I'd pay 90 quid to shag her, but that's about it.

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+1 on that. Music is great when you're in the mood, which is about 1% of the time.

 

Especially baffling to me are those people who pay 200 quid to stand in cow shit for three days and listen to a load of average bands. Folks, you do know that all those songs are available on CD and MP3, yeah? Plus the sound quality is much better, and some pikey probably won't nick all your shit if you're listening to it at home.

 

Should add one of my own: leaving the toilet seat down. 99% of people do this. Why? For fuck's sake leave the seat UP. When I eventually come to need a shit, I don't want to be sitting in your fucking piss.

 

 

Women and nagging.

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The fact that heads of state aren't viewed as fair game for assassination. To me, it makes a lot more sense to kill the guy giving the order to bomb this village, murder that man, arm these people etc, than his subordinates carrying it out.

 

If I was elected, I would be going after defense secretaries, prime ministers and heads of national intelligence.

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+1 on that. Music is great when you're in the mood, which is about 1% of the time.

 

Especially baffling to me are those people who pay 200 quid to stand in cow shit for three days and listen to a load of average bands. Folks, you do know that all those songs are available on CD and MP3, yeah? Plus the sound quality is much better, and some pikey probably won't nick all your shit if you're listening to it at home.

 

Should add one of my own: leaving the toilet seat down. 99% of people do this. Why? For fuck's sake leave the seat UP. When I eventually come to need a shit, I don't want to be sitting in your fucking piss.

You've completely missed the point. Take Glastonbury for example, I wish I'd paid my £200+ even though there isn't a single band I'm that fussed about, I honestly wouldn't care if I missed either or both of the 2 bands I like there. It's about the atmosphere and environment which are completely unlike anything else you will ever do in your life, the people you'll meet, the fun, the walking into some tent you got no idea about and end up discovering the funniest comedian you've ever heard. You'll never go and you'll never get it probably to be fair, your loss though.

 

As for toilet seat etiquette, I leave the lid and seat down to keep the smell in and stop water flushing all over the shop. What do people think the lid is for?

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After a couple of kids its like shagging a Cyclops eye so maybe its a way of remembering good times past?

 

I'll take your word for this.

 

I've never shagged any kids.

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Cars. By that I mean people who break theirs necks to drive round in a trophy box that loses value hand over fist. My car is twelve years old, reliable and gets me to work and back, if someone prangs it in the Asda car park I won't lose sleep, if it breaks down I will fix it myself. If it dies I will simply buy another.
Yeah with you on cars. Family never had one and neither have I, can't drive and I'm 32. Might learn one day, but the gigantic pit of money you waste on it is just not worth it for me, I get to fuck off on holidays instead. I understand how for some they are a necessity, but I built my life around not needing it and am so much better off for it.

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Praying.

 

I'm not being snide or deliberately controversial' date=' just putting up a big one for me.

 

Talking about praying, and actually praying for things. It's literally ridiculous. There is no coherent joined-up thought that can explain how it would ever make sense. He is omnipresent and all-powerful. He knows your mum has cancer. He clearly doesn't care. And if begging him or making deals changes that then...jeez, how fucked up is that!?

 

Not looking for an argument. Just putting it out there as my pick. It's a hugely strange thing for intelligent people to do.[/quote']

 

I shared your bemusement for a long time, however, "prayers" before bed can be a good way of settling the mind before getting a good kip, a good chance to get all yer ducks in a row and work out what you want to achieve the next day. Obviously the omnipotent deity thing is somewhat irrational, but in line with the hippy positive thinking line of thought, the act itself can be of some benefit, without expecting a big beardy bloke to grant your every wish.

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Sold my car two months ago because I work in town and live a 20 min walk away from train station. The missus has a car so I take that when I rarely need to drive anywhere.

 

Worked out with car tax, finance, petrol and insurance I'm saving almost £400 a month. Spending that on ale and holidays.

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I shared your bemusement for a long time, however, "prayers" before bed can be a good way of settling the mind before getting a good kip, a good chance to get all yer ducks in a row and work out what you want to achieve the next day. Obviously the omnipotent deity thing is somewhat irrational, but in line with the hippy positive thinking line of thought, the act itself can be of some benefit, without expecting a big beardy bloke to grant your every wish.

 

I think praying is just an act of faith.

 

It's actually talking to yourself about the nice (hopefully) things you'd like to believe would happen.

 

It's idiotic (in the true sense of the Greek word for "loner" or hermit), and I agree, Arthur, therapeutic, rather than anything overtly looney.

 

And no less intelligent than wanting to drop bombs on cities, for instance.

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Lots to comment on here.

 

 

Drinking milk by the gallon. You know it came from a cows tit right? It's for baby cows not humans, sick fuck.

 

I assume you are vegan then, because if you struggle with what comes out of the cow's tit, then surely eating it's actual arse or the period of a hen is far far worse.

 

Adding to that, sunbathing. I find lying down awake for 6 hours doing fuck all but get sweaty the most pointless thing ever. Get out, have a beer or explore your surroundings if the sun is out.

 

I agree. I can lie and sleep in the sun, possibly even read, but for a very limited time only, especially when in another country. i just want to get out and see stuff.

 

Texting to communicate.

 

I would much rather call someone to discuss a topic rather an impersonal text.

 

Don't get me wrong there are times and places for example balnket texts from my manager of a certain sporting event to notify lots of people details of said game, but if you want to talk to somebody, call them its not difficult.

 

I am the complete opposite, and thankfully so is Mrs RiS. I fucking hate speaking on the phone. I also hate sitting on the train and having to listen to someone else's conversation, or rather half of it, as all they do is say "yeah, yeah, yeah" etc. Inconsiderate fuckers.

 

Chr*stm*s.

 

I am the opposite. Bloody love it. This next comment wasn't about Christmas though was it...

 

Yep.

 

The bird loves it though and every year I have to make an effort to pretend its such a great day blah blah blah.

 

It's about the birthday strap-on bumming she gives you once a year.

 

Spending huge amounts of money on things that can be purchased, and do an almost identical job, for a fraction of a cost. Like cars, phones, etc.

 

Fully agree. I have slight twinges regarding cars now and again, but I just remind myself of the cash involved and think of what I would rather do with the money. Phones do nothing for me. I have an iPhone, but only because work pay for it. I used to get excited by new phones, but not any more. I just get irritated that I even have to have one.

 

Commuting (as an active choice as opposed to not being physically/financially able to work on your doorstep)

 

There are 24 hours in a day. I work for 8.5 of them (including lunch break). Sleep for between 5 and 8 of them. Subtract the time eating, cooking, food shopping, washing, cleaning, shitting and pissing and so forth, it leaves a fairly small slice of time per day to do things I actually enjoy, which don't include sitting on buses, trains, or being stuck in traffic. So until I find myself owning a sportscar and living and working on opposite ends of the Nurburgring Nordschleife, I'll take getting home to my cramped city centre apartment at quarter to 6 over a nice spacious home in the suburbs which I won't see till 7 o'clock every night.

 

Tricky. I would hate to have to live in the city, but i don't like too much commuting. My journey door to door is 50 mins. I reckon i could do anything up to an hour, that's about it. It isn't about having a spacious house for me though, its about having nature around me.

 

Celebrating birthdays.

 

Birthdays are ace.

 

People having a chat with pets and new born babies.

 

Pets is one thing as that is just about establishing a relationship, but you have to speak to babies or they won't learn to speak. Sometimes i wish my kids hadn't learned mind you.

 

Cars. By that I mean people who break theirs necks to drive round in a trophy box that loses value hand over fist. My car is twelve years old, reliable and gets me to work and back, if someone prangs it in the Asda car park I won't lose sleep, if it breaks down I will fix it myself. If it dies I will simply buy another.

 

see above. i have become a pragmatist when it comes to cars. I have learned how to fix the basics and have friends who help when things get complicated. I don't have to worry about paying for services, i do regular oil and filter changes etc. I know people who have to pay 500 quid to get their car through a basic service at the dealers in order to help it keep its value. That is fucking insane. It costs less than 50 quid for quality oil and a set of filters.

 

 

 

 

Finally, i will add my own, and it is a strange one as it is the opposite from when i was younger. When I was growing up, i thought it was really weird to have to take shoes off when going in. Everybody does that here and now i find it strange that people don't. Especially in England where there is still a lot of carpeting.

 

Actually, there's another, fitted carpets. Weird things.

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I assume you are vegan then, because if you struggle with what comes out of the cow's tit, then surely eating it's actual arse or the period of a hen is far far worse.

 

Fuck no. I love the ol' chickens periods and I'm quite happy to dine on chicken, sheep and cow. Loads of omnivores eat bird eggs, I'm one of them.

 

There is just something creepy and weird about drinking pints of milk which has come out of a cows dirty, chapped tit.

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Fuck no. I love the ol' chickens periods and I'm quite happy to dine on chicken, sheep and cow. Loads of omnivores eat bird eggs, I'm one of them.

 

There is just something creepy and weird about drinking pints of milk which has come out of a cows dirty, chapped tit.

 

you love a bit of hen minge then.

 

weirdo.

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Doing Heroin

 

Why would you do that?

 

Maybe i'm being naive but has anyone you know done heroin and not fucked up the rest of their lives?

 

Everyone I've known that has doen heroin is now either dead or has ruined their life.

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Fair enough, its more the concept of why it would be something worthy of celebration in the first place which is odd to me.

 

Having survived another year is worthy of celebration in my opinion. I was less convinced in my twenties though, I was immortal back then.

 

Should add one of my own: leaving the toilet seat down. 99% of people do this. Why? For fuck's sake leave the seat UP. When I eventually come to need a shit, I don't want to be sitting in your fucking piss.

 

I leave it down, but then again I close the lid too.

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Having survived another year is worthy of celebration in my opinion. I was less convinced in my twenties though, I was immortal back then.

 

Ziggy is only about 17 or something if my shite and getting shiter memory serves me right.

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