The human body... It's fucking shit.

[Captain Willard]

38 minutes ago, Strontium Dog™ said:

 

The brain is better protected in the skull than it would be in the chest. Also, if you're moving the brain, are you moving eyes, ears etc too? Because if not, you're lengthening nerves and losing reaction time.

Im not a biologist but think the brain is only in the head because it evolved in very primitive worms on the sea floor from taste cells next to their mouths. I’d still move it to the rib cage and stick the eyes on stalks like snails. It does beg the question as to whether a single brain is a good idea anyway. Octopus have some brain functions in their tentacles rather than a single organ. I have read that given how long ago they went their separate evolutionary way to mammals, an octopus is the closest thing we have to semi intelligent alien life on the planet. . 

[Section_31]

It does amaze me how soft our bodies are compared to other animals, dogs drink dirty water and not a Bob Geldof cause celebre in sight, they can eat raw chickens for fun, whereas I only have to come within two inches of some undercooked rice and it's shitsville.

[Bjornebye]

7 minutes ago, Captain Willard said:

Im not a biologist but think the brain is only in the head because it evolved in very primitive worms on the sea floor from taste cells next to their mouths. I’d still move it to the rib cage and stick the eyes on stalks like snails. It does beg the question as to whether a single brain is a good idea anyway. Octopus have some brain functions in their tentacles rather than a single organ. I have read that given how long ago they went their separate evolutionary way to mammals, an octopus is the closest thing we have to semi intelligent alien life on the planet. . 

Nah you're chatting shit here. Eyeballs will be getting attacked by birds and stuff. They are probably in the best place for them as things stand. 

[Captain Willard]

5 minutes ago, Section_31 said:

It does amaze me how soft our bodies are compared to other animals, dogs drink dirty water and not a Bob Geldof cause celebre in sight, they can eat raw chickens for fun, whereas I only have to come within two inches of some undercooked rice and it's shitsville.

Yes good point, our metabolisms are far too sensitive. You don’t get many gluten intolerant dogs. Ours eat each other’s sick if we let them. 

[Captain Willard]

9 minutes ago, Bjornebye said:

Nah you're chatting shit here. Eyeballs will be getting attacked by birds and stuff. They are probably in the best place for them as things stand. 

The defence rests 

[Section_31]

2 minutes ago, Captain Willard said:

Yes good point, our metabolisms are far too sensitive. You don’t get many gluten intolerant dogs. Ours eat each other’s sick if we let them. 

It's no wonder dogs are so happy, they're too dumb to know better and they can lick their own balls. We definitely got the short evolutionary straw.

[YorkshireRed]

I reckon once you hit fifty, I’m forty nine so have started early, it all goes to shit an an accelerated pace.
 

It’s possible to stave off the decline, either through living a better life or because you got dealt decent genes, but on the whole everything start’s sticking two fingers up at you and singing Karma’s going to get you while it fucks you up. 

[Captain Willard]

2 minutes ago, YorkshireRed said:

I reckon once you hit fifty, I’m forty nine so have started early, it all goes to shit an an accelerated pace.
 

It’s possible to stave off the decline, either through living a better life or because you got dealt decent genes, but on the whole everything start’s sticking two fingers up at you and singing Karma’s going to get you while it fucks you up. 

Ultimately it’s coding errors that kill you, simple DNA mistakes that accumulate over decades. Coding errors and an exhausted immune system.  I’m 57 and my immune system is clearly getting worn out. I slightly burnt my thumb whilst setting off fireworks pissed on New Year’s Eve and it still hasn’t healed. My 9 year old son gets a graze on his knee and it heals within a week. That’s my mortality happening in front of my eyes. 

[YorkshireRed]

I think the society we live in accelerates the decline as well for many of us. 
 

The biggest house, the flashiest car, the prettiest girl. Before we realise we’re aspiring to someone else’s life, not our own, it’s too late.

 

I’m sure the Ferrari in the garage validates everything for some. This is not a criticism, fair fucks if that’s genuinely it. Absolutely nothing wrong with that.

 

For others though, they chase what they think they want, what others want for them, rather than what really makes them happy. The things they’d have known earlier if only they’d paused for a moment. Having a purpose that’s ‘just not it’ impacts the mental health which contributes to an accelerated physical decline. 
 

I’ve been drinking by the way so I reserve the right to forget I posted this in the morning. 

[Bjornebye]

9 minutes ago, YorkshireRed said:

I think the society we live in accelerates the decline as well for many of us. 
 

The biggest house, the flashiest car, the prettiest girl. Before we realise we’re aspiring to someone else’s life, not our own, it’s too late.

 

I’m sure the Ferrari in the garage validates everything for some. This is not a criticism, fair fucks if that’s genuinely it. Absolutely nothing wrong with that.

 

For others though, they chase what they think they want, what others want for them, rather than what really makes them happy. The things they’d have known earlier if only they’d paused for a moment. Having a purpose that’s ‘just not it’ impacts the mental health which contributes to an accelerated physical decline. 
 

I’ve been drinking by the way so I reserve the right to forget I posted this in the morning. 

Get some pics of the lezzers up. We will all feel better 

[Captain Willard]

8 minutes ago, Bjornebye said:

Get some pics of the lezzers up. We will all feel better 

And the picture of that girl in the white dress. She’s had a big impact on my mental health. 

[chrisbonnie]

No denying it declines with age.

 

When I turned 30 I got patella tendonitis in my left knee. I still haven't shifted it. 

 

For my 40th I got plantar fasciitis in my right foot. And just this Christmas I started suffering from indigestion/heartburn for my first ever time. In fact because the sensation was so fucking odd, I ended up taking a trip to A&E on Christmas day to make sure I wasn't having a heart attack. In my defence, I did have the covid booster a few days before Christmas and my left arm was acting up, hence the "shit the bed" moment that made up my mind on the A&E visit

[cloggypop]

We should be able to look through our fingertips. Much better for finding stuff down the back of the couch. 

[rb14]

7 hours ago, Rushies tash said:

Bollocks. If they're so sensitive, why put them on the outside?

Rather predictably, I have been known to protect other guys' bollies in the safety of my hand. And mouth. It's just me being nice. 

 

6 hours ago, Bjornebye said:

Have you ever considered that maybe we are still part of the human bodies evolution and maybe all the stuff wrong with us will be put right over time? 

Blasphemy. Intelligent design. 

[AngryOfTuebrook]

54 minutes ago, chrisbonnie said:

No denying it declines with age.

 

When I turned 30 I got patella tendonitis in my left knee. I still haven't shifted it. 

 

For my 40th I got plantar fasciitis in my right foot. And just this Christmas I started suffering from indigestion/heartburn for my first ever time. In fact because the sensation was so fucking odd, I ended up taking a trip to A&E on Christmas day to make sure I wasn't having a heart attack. In my defence, I did have the covid booster a few days before Christmas and my left arm was acting up, hence the "shit the bed" moment that made up my mind on the A&E visit

I've reached the age where my todger is the only thing that isn't frequently stiff.

[AngryOfTuebrook]

7 minutes ago, rb14 said:

Rather predictably, I have been known to protect other guys' bollies in the safety of my hand. And mouth. It's just me being nice. 

 

The hero we deserve.

[Captain Willard]

1 minute ago, AngryOfTuebrook said:

The hero we deserve.

She’s wasted on us. 

[Remmie]

Did Freud ever cover why we like to insert the bits of our body that emit waste into other bits of someone else's body that emits waste? And we derive physical pleasure from it? It's absolutely fucked up. 

 

My options as a straight man to get my penis pleasured by a woman are:

 

Vagina - Where piss, menstrual blood and fucking babies come out of. 

 

Mouth - Vomit hole, filled with teeth, probably lined with particles of decaying food. 

 

Bumhole - Turd comes out of here. And wet stinky farts. Please engorged my penis. 

 

Hand - It wipes the arse. Probably has twelfty different types of bacteria aids on it. 

 

These are the main ones, I'm sure some of you wronguns have more (some people like feet?) but could you get much worse? 

[chrisbonnie]

I was listening to a Louis theroux podcast recently and he was chatting about one of his previous documentaries on bodybuilding. He briefly mentioned that the severe steroid use in female bodybuilders can give them an enlarged clitoris that then can't be reversed. 

 

The other guy on the podcast then said that the clit is technically the tip of the penis.... But at the stage in an embryos life where it hasn't been decided whether it's going to become male or female. 

 

How fucking mad is that

[Harry's Lad]

5 hours ago, Strontium Dog™ said:

 

The brain is better protected in the skull than it would be in the chest. Also, if you're moving the brain, are you moving eyes, ears etc too? Because if not, you're lengthening nerves and losing reaction time.

Blokes should have evolved to have brains in our dicks, let's face it, we think with our dicks most of the time, plus stiffy speed would improve drastically.

[Harry's Lad]

22 minutes ago, Harry's Lad said:

.

 

[Captain Willard]

10 hours ago, Remmie said:

Did Freud ever cover why we like to insert the bits of our body that emit waste into other bits of someone else's body that emits waste? And we derive physical pleasure from it? It's absolutely fucked up. 

 

My options as a straight man to get my penis pleasured by a woman are:

 

Vagina - Where piss, menstrual blood and fucking babies come out of. 

 

Mouth - Vomit hole, filled with teeth, probably lined with particles of decaying food. 

 

Bumhole - Turd comes out of here. And wet stinky farts. Please engorged my penis. 

 

Hand - It wipes the arse. Probably has twelfty different types of bacteria aids on it. 

 

These are the main ones, I'm sure some of you wronguns have more (some people like feet?) but could you get much worse? 

If you think the whole point of the human body is to pass on its genes for the survival of the species, then making the prostrate sexually sensitive was a mad idea by God/evolution. A big % of the young male gene pool distracted by alternative ways of having sex and hence opting out of reproduction. Completely mad. 

[Captain Willard]

9 hours ago, chrisbonnie said:

I was listening to a Louis theroux podcast recently and he was chatting about one of his previous documentaries on bodybuilding. He briefly mentioned that the severe steroid use in female bodybuilders can give them an enlarged clitoris that then can't be reversed. 

 

The other guy on the podcast then said that the clit is technically the tip of the penis.... But at the stage in an embryos life where it hasn't been decided whether it's going to become male or female. 

 

How fucking mad is that

I think I’ve read that the clitoris has a residual shaft in the female body up to 5 cm long. 

[YorkshireRed]

9 minutes ago, Captain Willard said:

I think I’ve read that the clitoris has a residual shaft in the female body up to 5 cm long. 

Nonsense, I’d have been able to find it at least once in decades of trying if that was true.

[Captain Willard]

14 minutes ago, YorkshireRed said:

Nonsense, I’d have been able to find it at least once in decades of trying if that was true.

I found this very unsettling. So much stuff I didn’t know. 

 

https://www.intimina.com/blog/clitoris-anatomy/