The human body... It's fucking shit.

[Fugitive]

Just got in after a long day of work and travelling and made a rather nice meal for myself. I was content and full for about 5 minutes then vomited the lot back into the bog. Now I'm fucking starving again.

 

I wasted 25 minutes cooking my tea for nothing and now I'm back to square one. Fuck off.

[Carvalho Diablo]

The right answer is toast.

[DooooodekNo5]

Out with a couple of mates last Saturday night, fell into a bar at about 2am, round of shots, then straight to the bogs where there were 5 or 6 adjoining sinks and heaved my guts up in 3 of them, went to finish it off in a cubicle which is where i should of went to start with, got collared to and slung out, the cheek of it!

[Captain Willard]

There are so many obvious design flaws with the human body ;

 

The neck - why put all the important organs inside protective casings (the rib cage and the skull) then connect them with something that can be so easily broken or cut. 
 

Intolerance to temperature - the body is very intolerant to temperature changes, increase or decrease your core temperature by a tiny % and you die.

 

breathing - you can only last about 2 minutes without air. Far too sensitive. Whales can go for an hour or more. 

 

Needs a whole redesign. Stronger neck, more tolerant of temperature and better lungs. 

 

 

 

[Bruce Spanner]

I mean, tits are alright.

[Champ]

2 words. Paper cuts

[Captain Willard]

Generally the whole design is shit. Here’s 3 more :

 

Feet. Far too many tiny bones, tiny gaps between toes that get fungal infections and why are the soles of your feet so sensitive ? I’d scrap the whole foot design and start again with something more like a hoof. 
 

Making food and air go down the same pipe so people regularly choke. Needs separate entry holes like fish or whales (again). It comes back to the fucking neck again, terrible bit of design. 
 

putting your tongue and teeth in the same enclosed place then making the tongue ultra sensitive so it hurts like fuck if you bite it. . 

[rb14]

Cocks - fuck yeah

Fannies - fuckoff

[Rushies tash]

Bollocks. If they're so sensitive, why put them on the outside?

[Captain Willard]

4 minutes ago, Rushies tash said:

Bollocks. If they're so sensitive, why put them on the outside?

Good point. Why is something so key to gene survival put in such a vulnerable place. 

[sir roger]

16 minutes ago, Captain Willard said:

 I’d scrap the whole foot design and start again with something more like a hoof

I have been with girls who were quite clearly evolving.

 

[Trumo]

The CPU is connected to the rest of the machine via a USB cable.

[Bjornebye]

35 minutes ago, Captain Willard said:

Generally the whole design is shit. Here’s 3 more :

 

Feet. Far too many tiny bones, tiny gaps between toes that get fungal infections and why are the soles of your feet so sensitive ? I’d scrap the whole foot design and start again with something more like a hoof. 
 

Making food and air go down the same pipe so people regularly choke. Needs separate entry holes like fish or whales (again). It comes back to the fucking neck again, terrible bit of design. 
 

putting your tongue and teeth in the same enclosed place then making the tongue ultra sensitive so it hurts like fuck if you bite it. . 

Have you ever considered that maybe we are still part of the human bodies evolution and maybe all the stuff wrong with us will be put right over time? 

[Captain Willard]

14 minutes ago, Trumo said:

The CPU is connected to the rest of the machine via a USB cable.

Yes exactly! 

[Rushies tash]

9 minutes ago, Bjornebye said:

Have you ever considered that maybe we are still part of the human bodies evolution and maybe all the stuff wrong with us will be put right over time? 

I'd love to see how natural selection gets rid of ball bags.

[dockers_strike]

Oh I dont know about it being shit, Ive seen pictures of the female body or rather parts of it doing extraordinary things!

[Strontium]

2 hours ago, Rushies tash said:

Bollocks. If they're so sensitive, why put them on the outside?

 

To keep them cool. Warm temperatures are bad for sperm.

[Captain Willard]

2 hours ago, Bjornebye said:

Have you ever considered that maybe we are still part of the human bodies evolution and maybe all the stuff wrong with us will be put right over time? 

I think evolution is pretty much over in humans. People are getting bigger but natural selection has been negated by better health care and money.

[Strontium]

3 hours ago, Captain Willard said:

The neck - why put all the important organs inside protective casings (the rib cage and the skull) then connect them with something that can be so easily broken or cut.

 

It's a trade-off, isn't it. The neck could be protected better, but you'd lose motility.

 

Just think of the issues Ram-Man has if he tries to look at something to his side:

 

[Rushies tash]

5 minutes ago, Strontium Dog™ said:

 

To keep them cool. Warm temperatures are bad for sperm.

That bit I know. What I don't get is why they need to be a literal ball ache if they get even the slightest knock. I understand that there needs to be a biological imperative to look after the swimmers, but the reaction to getting a kick in the nads seems too high a price to pay.

[Strontium]

2 minutes ago, Rushies tash said:

That bit I know. What I don't get is why they need to be a literal ball ache if they get even the slightest knock. I understand that there needs to be a biological imperative to look after the swimmers, but the reaction to getting a kick in the nads seems too high a price to pay.

 

I suppose the pain provides an incentive for you to protect them. The body is funny like that. You only feel pain because your body wants you to.

[Captain Willard]

12 minutes ago, Strontium Dog™ said:

 

It's a trade-off, isn't it. The neck could be protected better, but you'd lose motility.

 

Just think of the issues Ram-Man has if he tries to look at something to his side:

 

I’d make the chest cavity bigger and stick the brain in the rib cage.

[AngryOfTuebrook]

Whoever coined the phrase "intelligent design" never had piles.

[Strontium]

6 minutes ago, Captain Willard said:

I’d make the chest cavity bigger and stick the brain in the rib cage.

 

The brain is better protected in the skull than it would be in the chest. Also, if you're moving the brain, are you moving eyes, ears etc too? Because if not, you're lengthening nerves and losing reaction time.

[AngryOfTuebrook]

3 hours ago, Captain Willard said:

Needs a whole redesign. 

Alice Roberts did an interesting programme about this a few years ago ("Can Science Make Me Perfect").