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At my current job, they have a notice board called "The WOW Board". If someone helps someone out, or does a really good job of something or whatever, the person nominating writes what the other person did on a bit of paper and pins it to the board. Then they have to ring a little bell to draw everyones attention to it.

 

I'll be in chokey before the year is out.

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2 minutes ago, General Dryness said:

At my current job, they have a notice board called "The WOW Board". If someone helps someone out, or does a really good job of something or whatever, the person nominating writes what the other person did on a bit of paper and pins it to the board. Then they have to ring a little bell to draw everyones attention to it.

 

I'll be in chokey before the year is out.

"Janine gave me a cracking blowjob in the bogs the other day. Anonymous"

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Just now, Elite said:

"Janine gave me a cracking blowjob in the bogs the other day. Anonymous"

Nope, you've got to ring the bell and tell everyone that jane rang your bell.

 

Theres not even any prizes for it as far as I can tell. It's just pointless bollocks.

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9 minutes ago, General Dryness said:

Nope, you've got to ring the bell and tell everyone that jane rang your bell.

 

Theres not even any prizes for it as far as I can tell. It's just pointless bollocks.

Yeah sounds ridiculously infantile.

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35 minutes ago, Elite said:

"Janine gave me a cracking blowjob in the bogs the other day. Anonymous"

Janine rang your bell...

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After 10 years of contracting, i returned to a perm job a couple of months back. I had my first 121 in years, where my boss told me about the need to build my brand.

 

Its had me scouring the internet for another contract job since.

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10 minutes ago, John102 said:

After 10 years of contracting, i returned to a perm job a couple of months back. I had my first 121 in years, where my boss told me about the need to build my brand.

 

Its had me scouring the internet for another contract job since.

 

Ive been considering contracting work as a software engineer. What are the main down sides, would you say, to contracting? Are taxes etc not a ballache?

 

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50 minutes ago, Rick Sanchez C-137 said:

 

Ive been considering contracting work as a software engineer. What are the main down sides, would you say, to contracting? Are taxes etc not a ballache?

 

I think the main downside, certainly at the minute, is the IR35 reform, changing the tax position for lots. Certainly made it less lucrative. Even so, plenty of jobs are still more attractive, even after this. I had an accountant who did all of my tax stuff, so didnt bother me at all, other than when i had to pay him. i know a few who did their own taxes and they didnt think it was too bad. I would have asked them to do mine and saved money but wanted the security of knowing i wasnt going to jail should i get audited at any point.

 

Literally the only big downsides for me were not knowing how long a job was going to last and whether i could get the same money on my next gig. Then moving all over the country for work also become a downside. I used to love it but then had a family, so priorities changed.

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The bank I worked for had the contract to take cash payments for North West Water which meant that for the first three working days of the month no normal customers could get into the branch because a queue of pensioners stretched around the block.

 

A suggestion box was set up to get around this issue and my ' Gun turret and pick the first three of the bastards off ' got me an informal warning.

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5 hours ago, General Dryness said:

Nope, you've got to ring the bell and tell everyone that jane rang your bell.

 

Theres not even any prizes for it as far as I can tell. It's just pointless bollocks.

 

This is why middle management needs everyone back working onsite. So they can add value to the organisation like this.

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My favourite BG moments where when they installed hair straighteners in the men’s loos in the Manchester office and when the intranet got more reaction to a story about bad parking than closing one of the offices. 

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2 hours ago, Herp McDerp said:

 

This is why middle management needs everyone back working onsite. So they can add value to the organisation like this.

I think that's why I'm still mostly just a pleb. I'd like to be senior management, but the thought of having to spend years wading through the turgid morass of middle management to get there fills me with apathy.

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19 minutes ago, General Dryness said:

I think that's why I'm still mostly just a pleb. I'd like to be senior management, but the thought of having to spend years wading through the turgid morass of middle management to get there fills me with apathy.

That was it with me  , as well as a discernible lack of talent and application.

 

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On 26/02/2021 at 09:50, Section_31 said:

@Charles Penrose told a story on here years ago about how he'd not long become a copper and someone held a door open for him, he said 'thanks mate' and said other said 'I'm not your mate'.

 

Which was nice. 

Fucking hell how have you remembered that when I’d forgotten?

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My last employer didn’t give out bonuses or treat people kindly. If you were a deemed to be a star performer (by this I mean an incompetent drone prepared to accept it), you got a mobile disco ball.

 

This prestigious award could be for mundane reasons such as you did your job when you were most required to, rescued a dog, or cleared up someone else shit. The bar, so far as I can see, was never high enough for me to insult my staff by nominating them. Instead I used it as a mild threat, 

 

If nominated by your manager or the psychopathic leadership team, which I turned down joining, and you won, you had to leave said item on your desk in plain view and they’d take it back in time for the next time someone was deemed worthy,

 

That used to happen, not anymore. My advice is to lock the CEO’s office and look in peoples bags when they leave.

 

 

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We got bought out by a larger company and have been transitioning to new contractual terms. We used to have a shift count to meet of 186 shifts a year to incentivise you to cover others sickness, if you go over you get all your OT in one hit. For some fucking infuriating reason you wouldn't get this in January but February pay instead. These terms of transition have been in review since November but come the end of February our whole team have not received this pay. Fucking pricks. 

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On 26/02/2021 at 11:16, Qwikage said:

"Morning tossers. Did anyone order a cunt?"

Where I used to work one lady always used to say ‘Good moaning’

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This is my ‘go to’ thread when my decision to go self employed hits the inevitable bumps in the road. 
 

Although I’m financially worse off, I’m reminded that I’m considerably better off in every other way.

 

I feel your pain but I’m glad it’s your pain and not mine. Never again!

 

Thanks and in your faces. 

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I'm kind of getting ready to throw myself into seeing this shit first hand when I finally get my start date.

 

My dad worked at BAE for 31 years and saw it transform into the world of corporate bellendary from 1979 to 2010 when he took the money and ran. His favourite story was the introduction of the "Continuous Improvement Team". Apparently, these lot were surplus to requirement at Rover and were then employed at a place manufacturing fighter jets which you can't just throw together in a day or so like cars.

 

One particular member of the "CI Team" would get on everyone's wick with constant "Thought Showering" and "Thinking outside the box" until she took the hump after being told by one of the shopfloor lads to make herself more useful by "fucking sweeping up". The management also threatened to bring in handwriting experts after the sign on their office door was changed from CI Team to Cunts Inside Team.

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Funny looking at job ads these days, rarely if ever state a wage, but instead say stuff like "cycle to work scheme", fucking wow. Even better is "bank holidays off". Wow, Bank Holidays off. My cup runneth over. In concert with that and the pension that'll pay me about 13 quid a month, we just might have a deal.

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