Quantcast
Corporate bellendary at work. - Page 55 - GF - General Forum - The Liverpool Way Jump to content

Recommended Posts

I got a big interview on Monday, would be a decent pay increase if I get it. Anyway, have to do a fucking 20 minute presentation on the following 3 subjects:

 

What qualities make for a good team leader? 

How would my first 90 days at the organisation look like? 

What does customer service excellence look like? 

 

As its been 15 years since I last did a PowerPoint presentation, it's tortuously slow reminding myself how it works and now I've picked a particular theme with lots of pictures I've become the worst kind of corporate bellend myself, trying to find images that match accountable decision making and benchmarking instead of spending my time making the actual content in depth and interesting. 

 

As if interviews weren't anxiety filled shitburgs already, some fucker decided to add making a presentation into the mix. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Good luck. 

 

Advice, but feel free to ignore...

 

- try and keep it personal on the first one, ‘when I was at x I had a team leader who was good because of..., he made people feel valued, engaged and that meant they performed better - all that wank. Also had a bad one that had the impact of blah blah

 

90 day stuff should be about planning (obviously) and what you want to achieve. Don’t over egg it in my experience. If it’s a different company talk about your learning. 

 

CS stuff look at the indexes online about the top performers. 

  • Upvote 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
22 minutes ago, Remmie said:

I got a big interview on Monday, would be a decent pay increase if I get it. Anyway, have to do a fucking 20 minute presentation on the following 3 subjects:

 

What qualities make for a good team leader? 

How would my first 90 days at the organisation look like? 

What does customer service excellence look like? 

 

As its been 15 years since I last did a PowerPoint presentation, it's tortuously slow reminding myself how it works and now I've picked a particular theme with lots of pictures I've become the worst kind of corporate bellend myself, trying to find images that match accountable decision making and benchmarking instead of spending my time making the actual content in depth and interesting. 

 

As if interviews weren't anxiety filled shitburgs already, some fucker decided to add making a presentation into the mix. 

I hope the rewards are good for the successful candidate after asking you to submit to this pantomime 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
2 hours ago, Remmie said:

I got a big interview on Monday, would be a decent pay increase if I get it. Anyway, have to do a fucking 20 minute presentation on the following 3 subjects:

 

What qualities make for a good team leader? 

How would my first 90 days at the organisation look like? 

What does customer service excellence look like? 

 

As its been 15 years since I last did a PowerPoint presentation, it's tortuously slow reminding myself how it works and now I've picked a particular theme with lots of pictures I've become the worst kind of corporate bellend myself, trying to find images that match accountable decision making and benchmarking instead of spending my time making the actual content in depth and interesting. 

 

As if interviews weren't anxiety filled shitburgs already, some fucker decided to add making a presentation into the mix. 

One of the things I was told re powerpoint:

keep each slide concise, don’t have a load of text and graphics, use more slides with less clutter so each one is clear.

 

wit respect to leadership- always stress the attitude of including yerself in any directions, this is how we achieve, how are we going to tackle it. Lead from the front rather than managing or directing from the back.

oh and drop in a few Shankly quotes on teamwork and togetherness.

 

all  simple stuff you probably know. Then once you have the job, yer can become a malignant fucker to yer underlines and climb the greasy pole!

 

good luck dude.

  • Upvote 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 3/3/2019 at 4:48 AM, Remmie said:

I got a big interview on Monday, would be a decent pay increase if I get it. Anyway, have to do a fucking 20 minute presentation on the following 3 subjects:

 

What qualities make for a good team leader? 

How would my first 90 days at the organisation look like? 

What does customer service excellence look like? 

 

As its been 15 years since I last did a PowerPoint presentation, it's tortuously slow reminding myself how it works and now I've picked a particular theme with lots of pictures I've become the worst kind of corporate bellend myself, trying to find images that match accountable decision making and benchmarking instead of spending my time making the actual content in depth and interesting. 

 

As if interviews weren't anxiety filled shitburgs already, some fucker decided to add making a presentation into the mix. 

Tell them you would show your team three envelopes..

 

 

  • Upvote 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I'm part of the entertainment staff for a cruise line, basically a Butlins red coat in the middle of the ocean. 

 

First week on the job they had all the new hires stand in a circle while the hotel director walked around, shook our hands one at a time and have us repeat back to him "I am (name of company) and live the (name of company) values." 

 

Americans are weird 

  • Upvote 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
16 minutes ago, Ken Robber said:

I'm part of the entertainment staff for a cruise line, basically a Butlins red coat in the middle of the ocean. 

 

First week on the job they had all the new hires stand in a circle while the hotel director walked around, shook our hands one at a time and have us repeat back to him "I am (name of company) and live the (name of company) values." 

 

Americans are weird 

Negan?  

 

My mates wife did a similar job, when she’s pissed she always tells us about how many shags she had on board. For some reason he doesn’t like it. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
34 minutes ago, Rico1304 said:

Negan?  

 

My mates wife did a similar job, when she’s pissed she always tells us about how many shags she had on board. For some reason he doesn’t like it. 

Not gonna say the name of the company because I still work for them and signed a waiver that I wouldn't slag them off online etc 

 

Sounds about right though, you get a lot of people having casual flings with crew members all the time. Instant dismissal if you shag a guest, but only if you get caught

  • Upvote 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 02/03/2019 at 21:48, Remmie said:

I got a big interview on Monday, would be a decent pay increase if I get it. Anyway, have to do a fucking 20 minute presentation on the following 3 subjects:

 

What qualities make for a good team leader? 

How would my first 90 days at the organisation look like? 

What does customer service excellence look like? 

 

As its been 15 years since I last did a PowerPoint presentation, it's tortuously slow reminding myself how it works and now I've picked a particular theme with lots of pictures I've become the worst kind of corporate bellend myself, trying to find images that match accountable decision making and benchmarking instead of spending my time making the actual content in depth and interesting. 

 

As if interviews weren't anxiety filled shitburgs already, some fucker decided to add making a presentation into the mix. 

An update on this; it ended up being a 3 hour interview instead of the 1.5 hours advertised with 3 people. I progressed to the 2nd interview with the 3 different people which lasted 1 hour. I didn’t get it due to lack of experience. I then had another TL interview for what would have been a pay cut, didn’t get that either for the same lack of experience line. Why interview someone whose experience is stated on their cv if you don’t think they are experienced enough?

 

Anyway, ended up getting a job I interviewed for in December which is as close to my old role and salary as possible and am highly relieved. 

  • Upvote 9

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Just now, Remmie said:

An update on this; it ended up being a 3 hour interview instead of the 1.5 hours advertised with 3 people. I progressed to the 2nd interview with the 3 different people which lasted 1 hour. I didn’t get it due to lack of experience. I then had another TL interview for what would have been a pay cut, didn’t get that either for the same lack of experience line. Why interview someone whose experience is stated on their cv if you don’t think they are experienced enough?

 

Anyway, ended up getting a job I interviewed for in December which is as close to my old role and salary as possible and am highly relieved. 

Good news. 

 

Take it as a compliment. It’s possible you were the weakest candidate but they wanted to see you anyway.  Next time lie about your experience. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I'm sure there was an element of truth in the experience line but I wish they'd be a bit more specific with the constructive criticism so I knew what to work on. Ultimately, I have the job I am most comfortable with out of all those I interviewed for and they seem to give you career progression, so win win. 

  • Upvote 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 13/02/2019 at 16:50, cloggypop said:

Some middle management blert was sending me "urgent" messages on WhatsApp this morning about an hour before I am usually awake.

 

Blocked the cunt. 

This blert got sacked today. 

 

I'd spent about half an hour talking to him about how boss Virgil was just before it happened and now I feel a bit sorry for him. 

 

Sure he'll be fine. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

×