Corporate bellendary at work.

[Mook]

32 minutes ago, Dougie Do'ins said:

How's the new girl getting on Mark ?

Barely see her to be honest, she's down in London all the time.

 

I'll phone in the morning just to keep things by the book, I'm planning to go back in on Thu/Fri anyway.

[tokyojoe]

They used to call HR the Personnel Department when I was a lad.. There is a book written by some bloke who turned around one of the big yank car hire companies. When it got to the chapterabout ''Personnel Department', it simply said FIRE THIS DPARTMENT.

[Champ]

14 hours ago, Mook said:

My boss has been back one day from her holiday & managed to wind me up to fuck even though I'm signed off sick with pneumonia.

 

Called her first thing this morning to say I wouldn't be in & was calling the doctor to get a new line for this week (the hospital signed me off the last two), her reaction - 'I'll come round & drop off your laptop so you can work from home'. I completely ignored this & said I'd be back in touch tomorrow with an update.

 

Half four this afternoon the texts start up...

 

Her, 'What did your Dr. say?'

Me, 'He's signed me off for another week.'

Her, 'Have you handed your sick lines in yet?' 

Me, 'No.'

 

How the fuck am I meant to hand in my sick lines when I'm at home recovering from pneumonia?

 

If she continues down this route tomorrow I'm thinking about making an official complaint to HR, she's got previous for harrassing people who were off long term sick (that was a cancer scare).

That’s shocking behaviour that. Putting pressure on people when they’re sick is really low. There’s a word I don’t use that would be very apt I reckon.

 

If you’re sick you’re sick and there’s no way she should be asking you to work in any form. If you have a sick line (what is the name in English, Dougie?) and you were working and something happened to you, or presumably you got something wrong, your employers could be in serious shit

[Dougie Do'ins]

5 hours ago, Champ said:

That’s shocking behaviour that. Putting pressure on people when they’re sick is really low. There’s a word I don’t use that would be very apt I reckon.

 

If you’re sick you’re sick and there’s no way she should be asking you to work in any form. If you have a sick line (what is the name in English, Dougie?) and you were working and something happened to you, or presumably you got something wrong, your employers could be in serious shit

If we're talking about a document from a doctor declaring you unfit for work then it's called a sick note.

[littletedwest]

They call it a fit note now. Bellends 

[Evelyn Tentions]

Go back to your doctor and whinge about feeling worse because of  the stress she's putting you under to work at home, then send that to HR

[Rico1304]

My wife works for a lawyers in Manchester, as they had a good year last year everyone got an extra day added to their holiday entitlement and on Monday as it was allegedly Blue Monday all got a £10 voucher to use at Sky.  It can be done well, just not very often. 

[lifetime fan]

5 hours ago, rico1304 said:

My wife works for a lawyers in Manchester, as they had a good year last year everyone got an extra day added to their holiday entitlement and on Monday as it was allegedly Blue Monday all got a £10 voucher to use at Sky.  It can be done well, just not very often. 

 

You fucking maxed out your luck meeting her didn’t you. 

[Rico1304]

1 hour ago, lifetime fan said:

 

You fucking maxed out your luck meeting her didn’t you. 

Fuck off - she’s the lucky one!   

 

(Yes) 

[Anny Road]

In my last job the boss and a couple of other plebs had spent months trying to get a customer on board. Big spender lots of business. We would have needed more staff just to service the work.

I was in charge of sales and asked what they had done to get them on board. Turns out they had never met and just sent emails not even a phone conversation.

I rang the buyer arranged a meet. Took him out for lunch and arranged a round of golf.

All went great and they started to spend good money with us.

I put in my expenses they were knocked back £200 because no one asked me to buy lunch or play golf and I was given a verbal warning for poor punctuation in an email I had sent them saying thanks for all the work. Apparently Hi is not the proffesional way to start an email and lack of full stops.

Told the boss he couldn’t sell Prosecco at a hen night and stick his job up his arse.

[Oh Buoy]

Was Googling Odeon because someone wanted to know what the Luxe brand thing was and stumbled across ODEON Luxe Edinburgh West's Youtube account. 

 

Up there as a contender to Remmie's hits: 

 

 

 

 

More here: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCUc7-YK0bIHJhpF8znjYFbA

[Remmie]

Eh? What the fuck has that shit got to do with me? 

[Anubis]

9 hours ago, Remmie said:

Eh? What the fuck has that shit got to do with me? 

 

Squiggle is basically calling you a cunt. Are you going to let him get away with that?

 

As for those Odeon vids, imagine being told by your manager that today you’re going to be dressed up and act like a twat on YouTube, and not telling them to fuck off.

 

And isn’t that top one Si?

[Mook]

6 hours ago, Anubis The Jackal said:

 

Squiggle is basically calling you a cunt. Are you going to let him get away with that?

 

As for those Odeon vids, imagine being told by your manager that today you’re going to be dressed up and act like a twat on YouTube, and not telling them to fuck off.

 

And isn’t that top one Si?

None of that compares whatsoever to having to work in Wester Hailes.

 

Poor bastards.

[Pureblood]

On 1/22/2019 at 11:30 AM, Champ said:

That’s shocking behaviour that. Putting pressure on people when they’re sick is really low. There’s a word I don’t use that would be very apt I reckon.

"Pro-beaner"?

[cloggypop]

Some middle management blert was sending me "urgent" messages on WhatsApp this morning about an hour before I am usually awake.

 

Blocked the cunt. 

[Champ]

2 hours ago, Mook said:

None of that compares whatsoever to having to work in Wester Hailes.

 

Poor bastards.

Every few months the awful possibility of our team being moved out to Wester Hailes seems to rear it’s ugly head. They’d better not try it

[Section_31]

26 minutes ago, cloggypop said:

Some middle management blert was sending me "urgent" messages on WhatsApp this morning about an hour before I am usually awake.

 

Blocked the cunt. 

Didn't think you'd get all this stuff in Holland. 

 

"We need an ideas shower about golden showers". 

 

[cloggypop]

1 hour ago, Section_31 said:

Didn't think you'd get all this stuff in Holland. 

 

"We need an ideas shower about golden showers". 

 

He is also one of those people that stand too close when speaking to you. Been trying to work out if it's some management technique to assert dominance or he's just a proper weirdo. 

 

Been walking around singing the Police all week. 

[Remmie]

28 minutes ago, cloggypop said:

He is also one of those people that stand too close when speaking to you. Been trying to work out if it's some management technique to assert dominance or he's just a proper weirdo. 

 

Been walking around singing the Police all week. 

Roxanne? 

[Ginny]

15 hours ago, cloggypop said:

Some middle management blert was sending me "urgent" messages on WhatsApp this morning about an hour before I am usually awake.

 

Blocked the cunt. 

Just out of interest, what is he actually messaging you about work?

[Captain Turdseye]

12 minutes ago, Ginny said:

Just out of interest, what is he actually messaging you about work?

 

“Cloggy, you don’t have to wear that dress tonight”

[Oh Buoy]

24 minutes ago, Ginny said:

Just out of interest, what is he actually messaging you about work?

 

"urgent meeting in my undies, bbz xxxxxx"

 

[cloggypop]

40 minutes ago, Ginny said:

Just out of interest, what is he actually messaging you about work?

Usually stuff that has nothing to do with me. These ones had nothing to do with him either. He is one annoying busy blert. 

[Ginny]

We all went out for an Xmas party last year and before hand gave a few people my number just in case to meet up etc... next fuckin minute the office busy body has set up a fuckin WhatsApp group. To be fair wasn’t to bad as people were sharing night out pics etc so was quite fun. Next minute she’s fuckin posting deadlines and “don’t forget to have your business cases complete as there is high expectations” on the weekend etc... fucked that right off and left the group. I just don’t understand some people, man.