Corporate bellendary at work.

[Champ]

7 hours ago, suzy said:

Ooh this appraisal business sounds just like my work.

Every year we have to write our end of year comments earlier and earlier. I’ve just found out we have to have them in by 3rd December!! Even worse I only work Monday-  Wednesday and I’ve booked the Tuesday and Wednesday off the week before! So I have to do mine by 26th November.

Worse still we were told last week we’re being made redundant next year. Between April and June is all we know so far. To say my heart won’t be in it is an understatement.

 

4 hours ago, Remmie said:

Another one being made redundant here. We got about 2 months notice, about 2 weeks after my 10 year anniversary, so at least I get that extra year for my payout. So in December I will be jobless and I detest applying for jobs, interviews are not too bad but the CV and covering letter writing sucks camel dick and is partially why I have been at the same place for 10 years. 

And you both. I wasn’t expecting to be reading about others losing their jobs in such quick succession. 

 

Fingers crossed for you both. I don’t know your situation, Suzy, but losing your job when you’ve got a tiny tot, Remmie, sounds pretty terrifying to me. All my very best to you both

[Remmie]

Yeah it's pretty worrying but at the same time we've been through worse situations and if I play my cards right we should be better off for it. 

 

Time to get some skills and try something new but no idea what, but would like to stay in shift work. 

[aRdja]

“Could you diairise....”

 

”So I’m waiting for your steer on...”

[Brownie]

Reach out, touch base.

 

Fuck. Off.

[Section_31]

The problem with a lot of middle management in these companies is that corporations are often just climbing frames for mediocre human beings. We've all worked in places like this, we go in innocently and want to do well, then figure out pretty quickly it's a load of bollocks so end up either moving on or sticking around because we have to provide for our families. Most of us thought would much rather be doing something else (such as being a writer and living in the Isle of Man with a cocker-spaniel in my case).

 

Management types though depend on the job for everything, as well as the source of their income it's the source of  their status, their desk and its layout is how they define themselves and their lives, they'd be nothing without it, they have no dreams or ambitions of their own, and if they're ever laid off they usually go into a deep spiral. These people are to be pitied really.

 

Here lies Billy Bogsworth, team leader at the United Utilities debt collection call centre division, he made a lot of money for the shareholders.   

[Champ]

46 minutes ago, Remmie said:

Yeah it's pretty worrying but at the same time we've been through worse situations and if I play my cards right we should be better off for it. 

 

Time to get some skills and try something new but no idea what, but would like to stay in shift work. 

That’s the fucking spirit, Rem. I hope it works out for you all.

 

And the old cobblers that what seems like the worst thing can turn out for the best is actually true

[Dougie Do'ins]

6 hours ago, Remmie said:

Another one being made redundant here. We got about 2 months notice, about 2 weeks after my 10 year anniversary, so at least I get that extra year for my payout. So in December I will be jobless and I detest applying for jobs, interviews are not too bad but the CV and covering letter writing sucks camel dick and is partially why I have been at the same place for 10 years. 

I honestly dont see the point of cover letters. What purpose do they really serve ? Line after line of fucking bollocks trying to fill a peice of A4 paper. 

 

If you can't look at my CV and decide if I'm good enough to get an interview without a cover letter then I don't want the fucking job.

[stringvest]

2 minutes ago, Dougie Do'ins said:

I honestly dont see the point of cover letters. What purpose do they really serve ? Line after line of fucking bollocks trying to fill a peice of A4 paper. 

 

If you can't look at my CV and decide if I'm good enough to get an interview without a cover letter then I don't want the fucking job.

when can you start?

[thegreatelephant]

i found the problem with a lot of male middle management is that they are just ugly, fat, baldy twats, really.

[Section_31]

13 minutes ago, thegreatelephant said:

i found the problem with a lot of male middle management is that they are just ugly, fat, baldy twats, really.

They're the kind of people who would have reported you to the Gestapo for listening to jazz. 

[Creator Supreme]

5 hours ago, thegreatelephant said:

i found the problem with a lot of male middle management is that they are just ugly, fat, baldy twats, really.

I didn't realise we'd met!

[General Dryness]

6 hours ago, Section_31 said:

The problem with a lot of middle management in these companies is that corporations are often just climbing frames for mediocre human beings. We've all worked in places like this, we go in innocently and want to do well, then figure out pretty quickly it's a load of bollocks so end up either moving on or sticking around because we have to provide for our families. Most of us thought would much rather be doing something else (such as being a writer and living in the Isle of Man with a cocker-spaniel in my case).

 

Management types though depend on the job for everything, as well as the source of their income it's the source of  their status, their desk and its layout is how they define themselves and their lives, they'd be nothing without it, they have no dreams or ambitions of their own, and if they're ever laid off they usually go into a deep spiral. These people are to be pitied really.

 

Here lies Billy Bogsworth, team leader at the United Utilities debt collection call centre division, he made a lot of money for the shareholders.   

Go to the Isle of Man, Secsh. Do it.

 

You could only improve the place.

[Dr Arthur De Sabre]

Shit news for Rem & Suzy, but I’m sure yers’ll be better to be out. Places start laying people off, are often shitty environments, but it’s difficult when you have to pay the rent/ mortgage.

i started role I am leaving, in September 2017, was told 2 year tenure as a contractor, then permanent role will be offered.

due to needing a kidney transplant, which necessitates 3 months off for recuperating, I had been looking at this as give my me a good chance to stash as much cash as possible in the short term to ensure me and the missus are fine during recovery period, as I don’t have time to build up sick leave to cover.

so advised work in this, and have been getting feedback - keep going as long as you can, if you can stay in work that’s helpful to the team etc. then 4 weeks ago, your role needs to be made permanent, if you don’t accept then we will give you 2 weeks notice as and when we find a replacement. This is on top of an enforfced 4 week shutdown over crimbo for contractor scumbags - which they neglected to mention in the interview (and I wa told I shouldn’t mention when interviewing someone else).

mine is a somewhat small win, but if they had stuck by their original word I wouldn’t have been looking to go anwywhere.

[suzy]

10 hours ago, Champ said:

 

And you both. I wasn’t expecting to be reading about others losing their jobs in such quick succession. 

 

Fingers crossed for you both. I don’t know your situation, Suzy, but losing your job when you’ve got a tiny tot, Remmie, sounds pretty terrifying to me. All my very best to you both

Thanks Champ, I’m probably in a better position than some but then again it’s been 17 years since I’ve had an interview. Worry my age will go against me. I do need another job as we have a mortgage. However I’ll have a few months cushion of redundancy to try and find something suitable.

Trying to stay positive.

[suzy]

51 minutes ago, Arthur Friedenreich said:

Shit news for Rem & Suzy, but I’m sure yers’ll be better to be out. Places start laying people off, are often shitty environments, but it’s difficult when you have to pay the rent/ mortgage.

i started role I am leaving, in September 2017, was told 2 year tenure as a contractor, then permanent role will be offered.

due to needing a kidney transplant, which necessitates 3 months off for recuperating, I had been looking at this as give my me a good chance to stash as much cash as possible in the short term to ensure me and the missus are fine during recovery period, as I don’t have time to build up sick leave to cover.

so advised work in this, and have been getting feedback - keep going as long as you can, if you can stay in work that’s helpful to the team etc. then 4 weeks ago, your role needs to be made permanent, if you don’t accept then we will give you 2 weeks notice as and when we find a replacement. This is on top of an enforfced 4 week shutdown over crimbo for contractor scumbags - which they neglected to mention in the interview (and I wa told I shouldn’t mention when interviewing someone else).

mine is a somewhat small win, but if they had stuck by their original word I wouldn’t have been looking to go anwywhere.

Thanks. 

Shit news for you, hope all goes well.

[Remmie]

Let's start a business together for all redundant folk. Something involving cheese as an object of worship. This time next year we'll be millionaires 

[thegreatelephant]

On 11/14/2018 at 3:46 PM, Section_31 said:

They're the kind of people who would have reported you to the Gestapo for listening to jazz. 

 

'in the glorious days of the Third Reich they'd have made my sort into fucking handbags'

[Rico1304]

I’ve just been to a meeting in some hipster offices in London.  Fuck me. 

 

It was effing weird! 

- they were 15 mins late collecting us
- the woman who collected us didn’t have shoes on
- the meeting room didn’t have a table, just random mismatched chairs
- she sat cross legged on her dining chair - she was wearing a short skirt and we could see EVERYTHING 
- her boss was about 25
- there were dogs in the office. 

 

I felt fucking old. 

[Anubis]

What was the meeting about? The crossed legs and short skirt might have been a distraction tactic....

[Rico1304]

4 minutes ago, Anubis said:

What was the meeting about? The crossed legs and short skirt might have been a distraction tactic....

We were funding them several million £.  I vaguely remember signing something...

[Bob]

I officially left my job last Friday, after 11 1/2 years. 

 

I was on garden leave for the previous month so haven’t really been back in to say bye to people, and with it being close to Xmas probably won’t end up doing anything other than a few drinks in the new year.

 

genuinely feel relieved to have left to go onto something new, but as I don’t have a job yet I’m getting a little anxious.

 

ive got an interview on Thursday but am still waiting for info/details of what they want me to present on, but I am

hooeful that could open up into something.

 

im contractually obliged to not reference any corporate bellendary...

[Rico1304]

2 hours ago, Bob Spunkmouse said:

I officially left my job last Friday, after 11 1/2 years. 

 

I was on garden leave for the previous month so haven’t really been back in to say bye to people, and with it being close to Xmas probably won’t end up doing anything other than a few drinks in the new year.

 

genuinely feel relieved to have left to go onto something new, but as I don’t have a job yet I’m getting a little anxious.

 

ive got an interview on Thursday but am still waiting for info/details of what they want me to present on, but I am

hooeful that could open up into something.

 

im contractually obliged to not reference any corporate bellendary...

Mate, I was institutionalised after 22 yrs. only a few months out and it’s refreshed my entire life. 

 

Be confident, don’t underestimate yourself and go for it.  Best of luck.  

[Bob]

38 minutes ago, rico1304 said:

Mate, I was institutionalised after 22 yrs. only a few months out and it’s refreshed my entire life. 

 

Be confident, don’t underestimate yourself and go for it.  Best of luck.  

Repoed in spirit, mate. 

[Creator Supreme]

On 11/14/2018 at 2:43 PM, Brownie said:

Reach out, touch base.

 

Fuck. Off.

Not a depeche mode fan then Brownie?

[Bob]

Well I’ve just got a job offer through so absolutely made up going into Christmas.

 

ive been off work since the beginning of November, first on garden leave and then since 29th November unemployed for the first time since leaving uni.

 

i made a speculative call to a company I did some work with 3 years ago who weren’t advertising and it’s worked out a treat.

 

we hadn’t discussed money other than me putting a range I’d find acceptable on my cover letter when I sent my CV over and they’ve offered at the top of that range which is bloody fantastic.

 

im taking a cut from what I was on but not by as much as I’d anticipated, and I got a payout on 11 years service in my old place, which landed in my bank this morning.

 

new start, fresh challenge and couldn’t be more up for it.

 

happy Christmas everyone.